Money claims from ex partner

[Toadcatcher]

After a long relationship and 2 now almost grown up children and many incidents of domestic abuse and violence, the children and I moved out mid last year. We have not heard from him at all and I thought he did not have our address. Three weeks ago a letter from a solicitor, representing my former partner, arrived with demands for money. He claims that I owe him a large sum comprised of individual items, such as an alleged loan (which was a gift 5 years ago and not mentioned since) and payment for my engagement ring and other demands. I can piece evidence together that these demands are unfounded. However, they threaten with litigation.
I tried to get advice from a solicitor who told me that they could help. After almost three weeks during which I received holding messages from the solicitor, they have now told me that we are now in a rush, the deadline for a response is next week and I need to prepay them £1500 for a response letter. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don’t have much time left now. Should I pay up or should I represent myself?

I am sick and tired still speaking to the police all the time which I had to do when he was around but I may just make an appointment with them at the station and ask for advice. I can’t just sit here forever like prey and wait for him to take me to court. It’s been two years now.

I suspect it’s an an initial letter before going through the small claims court. They have do this and give you a period to respond (or to ignore). Was it sent registered post? If it was, it’s to prove it was sent and received.

if the next stage is Small Claims, don’t panic. For the most part, it’s an online process and you don’t go to actual court. They list their claims, with evidence if any, and you respond with your arguments. If you can prove these demands are unfounded, you’ll be fine.

he will never take you to court . He enjoys harassing you

If you have read the thread you will see that this man has been harassing the OP for years with claims he owes her money.

Here we go again - 2 years on and another ultimatum came through the post this morning from his solicitor :-(

Is it the same solicitor as last time?

Presumably you have now had the legal reassurance that you can ignore them.

Are you now at the threshold to get a non-mol including these legal claims?

Another ultimatum after a pre court application last time? He hasn't gone through with it so far, because he has no leg to stand on. Solicitors will take his money to write all the letters in the world he wants. Doesn't mean they'll advice him to follow through because he won't win.

Ignore them, let him continue to waste money and think about how utterly sad his life must be for this to be occupying his mind so much time later. Don't let him ruin your happiness because he's utterly miserable without you to try to put down.

Thank you all 🌻

I admit I have been feeling queasy and in a daze since this morning, but nothing has changed and it is another final letter before proceedings. Includes all the usual insults and implications, character assassination and ordering me to pay him because he says so.

The same solicitor and she has not been promoted in two years.

What a pathetic little man.

I should probably go to the police now. After two years they may finally agree that this is harassment.

I'm sure you have, but keep everything he sends. Add everything to a timeline in case you need it and....ignore. 'another final letter' is hilarious if it wasn't so tragically pathetic of him.

I am keeping everything of course in addition to a huge box of legal and court paperwork in my storage unit from 11 years ago when we secured a non molestation and occupation order.

Can you honestly imagine what these meetings must be like between him and his solicitor? 'She's ignored the final letter, send another final letter' 'But the definition of final letter is it's the last one, there isn't one after it'. 'I don't care, send another one'.

Solicitor duly does so, bills him accordingly and here we are.

As before, I don't think there's any need to take any notice of this. Do check back in with the police to see if it has met the bar for harassment.

I wish I had a glass of wine so I could commence the drinking game!! Seriously, he is ridiculous. And his solicitor MUST be so far over the line of supposedly professional conduct by now. Iirc the last demand was supposedly a court summons?!

Hes desperate, sure, we knew that. But the level of delusion is actually bizarre.

The previous letter was a pre-filled and signed court summons ready to send.
the new final letter is the final letter ahead of proceedings with an updated final warning that I should not take a gamble on a court outcome which would then negatively impact the children if I lost all that money.
So their non contributing father is telling their mother who is the sole provider to pay up or he would try and ruin her and the kids?
I should not even have read the letter. Three pages btw berating me. He makes it sound like a punishment.

@tribpot that’s exactly right! He makes no sense at all but he does not care.

I will take all that to the police station and ask if they still not think that this is harassment.

I would've thought a solicitor wouldn't want to risk their reputation. I could understand them charging to write a professional letter, but I can't understand them agreeing to write the personal comments, knowing the history. I wonder if the solicitor is a friend that he has recruited to continue the harassment. I think you're right in speaking to the police again. If that doesn't work, I'd make a formal complaint regarding the solicitors conduct.

I can't believe he is still on this. I agree that you need to contact the police again to get it logged.

I would also contact the firm of solicitors and ask to speak to the top partner to ask why this solicitor is engaging with him and that you had a nonmol order and are reporting it as harassment.

Good luck.

The solicitor who represented my ex didn’t care about risking his reputation. Some of the things written about me in an attempt to undermine my credibility were truly despicable. My own solicitor was shocked by it. Like OP I got letter after letter. It took three years for him to finally apply to the court, and it took a further 3 years to get to the courtroom because he strung it out for as long as possible. Fortunately the judge saw straight through him and his nasty barrister. He must have spent in the region of £20-25k.

There is something seriously wrong with these men.

The solicitor is a relatively young woman, an associate and I cannot imagine that there is any personal connection.
I don’t know if she absolutely has to write what he asks or if she even encourages these comments which do not sound like his own words.

@PissOffBoris He probably spent more, I think my ex has already spent ca 20K if I calculate the preparation work, editing etc for each letter.