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Original poster

Money claims from ex partner

502 replies

Toadcatcher · 09/08/2022 20:18

After a long relationship and 2 now almost grown up children and many incidents of domestic abuse and violence, the children and I moved out mid last year. We have not heard from him at all and I thought he did not have our address. Three weeks ago a letter from a solicitor, representing my former partner, arrived with demands for money. He claims that I owe him a large sum comprised of individual items, such as an alleged loan (which was a gift 5 years ago and not mentioned since) and payment for my engagement ring and other demands. I can piece evidence together that these demands are unfounded. However, they threaten with litigation.
I tried to get advice from a solicitor who told me that they could help. After almost three weeks during which I received holding messages from the solicitor, they have now told me that we are now in a rush, the deadline for a response is next week and I need to prepay them £1500 for a response letter. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don’t have much time left now. Should I pay up or should I represent myself?

OP posts:
Triffid1 · 10/02/2024 14:48

Having just done a quick google of the county claim form process - he would need to submit this claim and then the COURT will write to you to tell you that you must either pay, or say why you are NOT paying. I found this helpful little leaflet https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/Global/Migrated_Documents/advisernet/04080109-ew-a-court-claim-has-been-made-against-me-what-should-i-do-pdf-8.pdf

At a guess, I'd say he's sending the claim form so that you think it's an actual legal document from the court (I"m still extremely dubious about his supposed solicitor). Once he actually makes the claim, you should receive a whole pack, with forms to fill in, to say why you are/ are not going to pay it.

Is he still just claiming for the car? Or has he taken the gap to add a few things?

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/Global/Migrated_Documents/advisernet/04080109-ew-a-court-claim-has-been-made-against-me-what-should-i-do-pdf-8.pdf

PissOffBoris · 10/02/2024 15:38

It’s interesting he’s spent money on getting a solicitor to send you a copy of the form rather than just actually sending it off to the court. He really does want to make you sweat.

If he ever actually sends off the form (debatable), you will get a letter from the court at which point you’ll need to do something. Until that point I wouldn’t do anything, as you’ve already made your position clear a number of times. At most I would send a letter/email to his solicitor restating your position, since he will be charged for every correspondence.

An almost identical thing happened to me. It went to court. He lost. The judge gave him a massive telling off. It was kind of brilliant, apart from the thousands I spent on a solicitor obviously.

The worst part is the waiting. To be honest it would be better if he did make the application and did it soon so that it can be brought to a close once and for all.

PissOffBoris · 10/02/2024 15:42

the COURT will write to you to tell you that you must either pay, or say why you are NOT paying.

No, the court will write to her asking whether she would like to admit or defend the claim. You can admit the claim in full or partially, and make payment to avoid it going to court. Or you can defend the claim and submit a written defence, in which case it will progress.

They don’t write to you to tell you must pay or not, that’s for the judge to decide at the hearing.

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 10/02/2024 17:19

Remember a solicitor will write with many demands. They hold no power..

MarieG10 · 11/02/2024 08:32

@Toadcatcher what is the total value of his claim?

Original poster
Toadcatcher · 11/02/2024 10:50

The value is now slightly lower than before - I am not sure why. Now ca £25K

OP posts:
PissOffBoris · 11/02/2024 12:13

Toadcatcher · 11/02/2024 10:50

The value is now slightly lower than before - I am not sure why. Now ca £25K

It's probably so it can be assigned to fast track, which has a cutoff of £25k. Anything over £25k gets assigned to multi-track which is more complicated.

Reugny · 11/02/2024 14:34

The worst part is the waiting. To be honest it would be better if he did make the application and did it soon so that it can be brought to a close once and for all.

That's why he won't make the application.

He must also be unaware the clock is running down so he will be out of time for a lot of his complaints. That's ignoring that the items he's claiming the OP owes him money for are either not hers but their children's, are regarded as gifts or you can't claim for other reasons.

eurochick · 11/02/2024 15:37

He is out of time to claim anything more than six years in the past.

Court will be stressful but probably less stressful in the end than waiting for the next letter. Once the court has decided on his claims they will be "red judicata" and he cannot claim them again.

Original poster
Toadcatcher · 13/02/2024 19:30

It’s over £25K.

if he’s out of time claiming anything over 6 years, then he should be out of time for some of the claim.

OP posts:
tribpot · 13/02/2024 20:40

No need to tell him this, let him find out the hard way.

Original poster
Toadcatcher · 13/02/2024 22:50

It probably depends on the point of view when he thought he had a claim, rather than a specific event. Any of it dates back between 6-9 years.

OP posts:
PissOffBoris · 13/02/2024 23:23

As I understand it, if it's been 6 years or more since anything he's claiming for was purchased then he's out of time to claim. What a twat.

prh47bridge · 14/02/2024 07:12

PissOffBoris · 13/02/2024 23:23

As I understand it, if it's been 6 years or more since anything he's claiming for was purchased then he's out of time to claim. What a twat.

That isn't quite right. It is 6 years from when the debt was incurred, but the clock would have reset if OP made any payments to her ex or she (or someone acting on her behalf) wrote to her ex acknowledging the debt.

Original poster
Toadcatcher · 14/02/2024 07:25

I have neither acknowledged nor paid. I did not even know about and neither did he. Not until I left him for good. He then made up all these claims out of spite.

OP posts:
Crumpleton · 14/02/2024 08:32

I'm pretty sure if he had a case against you where he was to gain upwards of 25k he'd have taken you to court long before now.

Although you're no longer together he's probably thinking that by making these threats he's controlling you, and unfortunately by sending these letters randomly to some extent he is as it just keeps dragging the situation out.

Have you spoken to a legal bod and thought about turning the tables and seeking court action against him to be rid of him once and for all?

Triffid1 · 14/02/2024 10:30

Is he still hounding you just about the car or has he put the ring and the various hilarious expenses for the DC back on? When did you divorce? Because it's sounding more and more to me like his claim, which was already insanely weak, is even weaker based on this 6 year thing.

I can't remember - did you do a financial asset split at the time of divorce too? I have a vague memory of someone on here saying that if you didn't there can be issues down the line regarding asset splits, but I'd think that's just actual assets rather than his endless complaints that he had to store some of his children's stuff....

Original poster
Toadcatcher · 14/02/2024 20:36

He has gone back to hounding me about everything again. Including the car.

OP posts:
Original poster
Toadcatcher · 14/02/2024 20:39

We were not married and a family solicitor negotiated the asset split. It’s all crystal clear. I should really sue him for CM that he never paid. That’s now far more than his so called claim. CM was also negotiated.

OP posts:
Triffid1 · 14/02/2024 20:52

Toadcatcher · 14/02/2024 20:39

We were not married and a family solicitor negotiated the asset split. It’s all crystal clear. I should really sue him for CM that he never paid. That’s now far more than his so called claim. CM was also negotiated.

So it's just a case of continuing to ignore him until you receive documents from the court.

His lawyer should have resigned by now out of embarrassment.

Reugny · 15/02/2024 16:37

Triffid1 · 14/02/2024 20:52

So it's just a case of continuing to ignore him until you receive documents from the court.

His lawyer should have resigned by now out of embarrassment.

Show quote history

His lawyer likes the easy money.

When he finally does issues Court papers the lawyer will simply say they don't do Court appearances.

Reugny · 15/02/2024 16:43

Toadcatcher · 14/02/2024 20:36

He has gone back to hounding me about everything again. Including the car.

Next time you speak to a solicitor ask the solicitor if you can go for a non-molestation order again.

RandomMess · 15/02/2024 16:50

Speak to Rights of Women about a non-mol Flowers

Reugny · 15/02/2024 16:56

RandomMess · 15/02/2024 16:50

Speak to Rights of Women about a non-mol Flowers

They were too busy to help the OP last time.

Original poster
Toadcatcher · 01/03/2024 13:32

Unfortunately yes and I also agree that women whose lives are in danger come first. I am not in danger of my life and with limited resources everywhere I completely accept that I cannot be supported.

OP posts: