So, what's it like going from 3-4?

[Zippidydoodah]

I've mentioned on another thread here that we are inexplicably thinking about number 4, from being absolutely adamant that we were done at 3!

Having the third was hard work and led to me having to give up my job. Now youngest is 2, I'm starting to feel more like me, but also broody with it!

Am I mad?! Please tell me what it's like going from 3-4?

Oh fingers crossed for you. Wouldn't that be brilliant, to have the decision made for you

Thank you. Not quite sure if I'm 100% ready for a positive, but how many of us are? It's still a shock even when you kinda expect it!

I still may not be, in fact chances are that I'm most likely 'not', but then there is still a chance that I am. My friend got pregnant by having a 'quick dip' so there's always a chance!
Maybe I should start a new thread asking if anyone got pregnant just by 'quick dipping'!
Apparently, the withdrawal method really isn't very effective - we shall soon see!
Ps, I wasn't really using that as a method - I just didn't think I'd ovulate four days after!!

Hi, forever young! How are you? Did you test?

I'm also reading this thread with interest as considering number 4...

Hi BrutusMcDogface (laughed at that name!)

Well...I definitely thought I was pregnant. Even told a close friend and my mum that I thought I was. My body felt like it did when I was pregnant before...and it was different to any PMS I've had.
I couldn't get over how tired I was, had a headache for a few days and my boobs were huge. I had weird dreams and I felt so hot (before heatwave kicked in!) I just had a feeling that I was, however, I then came on around 2 weeks after the day that I thought I'd ovulated (def ovulated early so was right about that!), and so I think I may have had one of those chemical things that I've read about, where an egg and sperm begin to create an embryo but it doesn't implant. The timing would fit for pregnancy to have been a possibility but it wasn't meant to be.
I did a few tests but they came out negative. (I didn't test positive until a few days after missed period in previous pregnancies, so I think my hCG levels must start off quite low). I'm so relieved about that as I've read about other people getting an early positive, only to find that their period arrives because implantation didn't take place.
Maybe I'm wrong and it was just PMS symptoms, but even my husband thought that I was pregnant before I even told him that there was a chance I could be and has never said that before.
I'm very philosophical about it. Weirdly I was kinda disappointed about the negative test, even though we aren't trying for a 4th. So now I'm at a stage where I'm wondering what could have been but not entirely sure another child is what I want. DH was also disappointed about me not being preggers, but he's like me in that he's still not sure if is a good idea to now start ttc.
I think it's lovely that he would have embraced the pregnancy, even though it wouldn't have been planned, but now that I'm not, it's back to decision time. If I had have been pg by accident, then the decision would have already been taken out of my hands so to speak, so then we would have just got on with it and looked forward to it, dismissing all the cons of going for no.4.
Now that I am back to the decision stage it's almost harder. Does that make sense?
So, I'm still not sure what to do. I'm not ruling it out but then I'm conscious that time is ticking and with PCO that makes things a little tricky. I do take agnus castus though and I think that has made me much more fertile!! So I need to be careful not to get caught out again. Have you decided yet?

ForeverYoung I had an evap line on a pregnancy test a frw months ago and felt the same. When it was a fait accompli I was overjoyed, it would have been a happy accident indeed, but to actively make the decision to ttc still seems a bold move, selfish I suppose, and it would be my "fault"if it was not the right decision for the family.

I think we'll ttc from Christmas (I have a 5, 3 and 1 yo) but we both feel apprehensive about taking such a huge step when family life has such a nice cadence now.

PolarBearGoingSomewhere, do you mind me asking how old you are?

With both myself and DS being 40, we're not over the hill just yet but being 40 does add to the list of cons!
Also, my chn are older (11, 11 and 8), so life is a lot easier in so many ways. The thought of going back to the baby stage does fill me will trepidation. I'm still undecided as I just don't want to look back and wished we had gone for it.
However, making the decision to ttc does seem a little barmy at this point in my life.
Sometimes I do think that I'd be really chilled and relaxed about it all as my older boys can help out...but then is that just wishful thinking?
Wish I had a crystal ball sometimes ;-)

Yes I've read back through some of your posts and I do think a lot of the worries are the same. I guess we don't have the same "now or never" time pressure as I am only 28 and our kids are younger, however it's the same feeling of pushing our luck given we are blessed with 3 gorgeous healthy children.

It's making the decision that's hard isn't it?! Would love to shaee your crystal ball too :-)

I am in my 2nd trimster with my 4th baby my fiances 3rd. And I really can't wait to be mum to 4 children. I found it easy going from 2 to 3 the youngest just fell into our routine which was already in place. We don't have a massive support network so my fiance and I both work as a team. He works I stay at home but on his days off ect he really does help and gets involved woth the child and helps woth the house work though most of the time it's already done. I have always wanted a big family so I am more excited then I am nervous. Though I am worried about the yougest two might argue more though recently that has calmed down.

Awaywith88fairies, do you mind me asking how old you are?
I'm not obsessed with age but I wonder if I'd be so concerned with going from 3 to 4 if I wasn't 40!?

Ask me anything I am 26. My children are 8 years 3 years and 2 years. I really don't think age makes any difference age doesn't define us.

I definitely still feel young and even got asked for I.D. at a club a couple of weekends ago - hilarious! But doesn't change the fact that my body is 40 and if I was to have a baby next year I'd be 41. I know that's not too old, but I see how difficult my sister has found having children in her 40's and I think that maybe I should count my blessings.
Weirdly though, one of my boys told me this morning that he had a dream last night where I gave birth to a baby girl!
He had had Sex Ed that day, so maybe the whole baby thing was on his mind. Bit spooky though, as a witchy lady that I know says she sees a baby girl around me!!! I have 3 boys so the thought of a girl kind of terrifies me. Well, the thought of another baby terrifies me, full stop lol. I'm still not decided but I'm thinking that at 50 I really don't want to be doing homework, parents evenings and school fetes anymore. At 50 my youngest will be 18 so that puts a whole new spin on things doesn't it!? However, I do like the idea of having a big family.Maybe I'll have to change my username to 'stillundecided'.
Congrats on your pregnancy though, 'Awaywith88fairies', I hope all goes smoothly for you. ;-)

I really don't think 40 is too old anything not even babies. I am 26 and I really don't have easy pregnancies in all.of my pregnancies I have had issues and am always high risk. Yet I know woman that have babies late 40s and they have had no issues at all. If you don't want to do parents evening in your 50s then off cause that's fine and if you did want to parents evening I your 50s that's also fine it's your life and body and absaulty your choice.

Thank you my herpertermis gravidarum has calmed down now. I have 3 girls. I have had 3 misscarries in a row after my youngest so this is our rainbow baby.

Have you thought about it much more ForeverYoung40? I'm on CD1 today so it's back on my mind. I needed some health procedures done, and they're done and everything is fine (dental work) so I had put the thought of ttc and #4 off until now. Still very unsure and just can't make my mind up. Veering towards not doing it, mostly because I think a pregnancy should be something you're excited about, and 100% happy about. I'm afraid that if I got a positive test that my reaction would be 'oh no, what have we done' and that's not right Hope that makes sense.

Anyone else feeling the same?

Hey Alcea,

Yes I'm still thinking about it but I'm still not sure. I'm more in favour of 'not' at the moment as hubby not 100%. If it had happened accidentally then I'm sure I'd be excited, but actually making the decision to ttc just doesn't sit right at the moment.
I just keep thinking that by the time I'm 50, all of our boys will be at Uni or travelling or working etc, and my husband and I will have the chance to do more travelling etc on our own.
If I have a baby in the next year then we won't really be able to do that till I'm almost 60. That seems like a long time to wait.
Plus my mum is only in her 60's and has cancer (which isn't curable) so I am thinking - what if that was me and I hadn't done all the things I wanted to do because I was still very much at home looking after the kids!? Don't get me wrong, I love my boys and they are my world. I'm quite obsessed with them and we are a really close family, but I'm also looking forward to the next chapter in our lives and I wonder if factoring in a baby too would be a bit too much!
Plus it's the cost; I'm thinking uni fees, cars, help to buy a house etc. I want to be able to help them all as much as I can. Maybe 4 will be that bit too much of a financial strain.
It's my husband who works long hours etc and I'd like him to be able to relax a bit towards our 50's, not feel under pressure to 'bring home the bacon' and support a wife and 4 kids.
Sounds like I'm all doom and gloom, that's not it at all. Part of me knows that if we had no.4 then I'm sure it would be wonderful. I'm just thinking long term and trying to weigh EVERYTHING up before I get carried away.
So, in a nutshell, I'm still not saying a definite no, but my head is ruling my heart at the moment so maybe I need to listen to what it's saying!
I would be totally envious if you go for it, but also pleased for you. I'm one of 4 and I love big families. Just wish I was a few years younger ;-) xx

You've just basically listed all my fears! If I won the lotto, I'd go for it in a heart beat.
I'm even too afraid to go and buy folic acid, because that would just make it very real. Are you taking it? Gosh, I'm really sounding like I really don't want another.

I wish I had a crystal ball to see into the future!

Sorry to hear about your mum, it must be a very hard time for you all x

The thing is, I'd never regret having another child, and if I don't go for it then I'm sure I'll always wonder 'what if?' but I can't make the decision of no. 4 based on 'what if?', if that makes sense.
The thing with my mum is at the back of my mind as I wonder how long she has left and what if she became really ill and passed away while I was pregnant or with a new born - how would I cope? That could cause many an issue during what would be an already tricky time.
But that's not the main reason. Life chucks all sorts of stuff at us and I'm amazed at how people are able to cope, and I'm sure I would too. I'm a pretty tough cookie and very philosophical about things - I like to put things into perspective and not dwell on the negative, but having another baby is such a massive step!
My husband did suggest we could adopt if we still felt like another child was a possibility but I haven't really thought about that in depth. I guess it is an option if we felt it was the right thing to do.
I also did consider fostering as my own got older, but I'd probably fall in love with each child that I cared for and wouldn't want them to leave!!
Hubby did say he'd get me a dog - seems like that's what most 40 somethings are doing at the moment ;-)
Ah who knows!? Re folic acid - when I thought I was pregnant in May/June, I did begin taking it. Felt so weird and final! I was quite excited though, but when my period came, I stopped taking it. It's still sat in the cupboard staring at me!
Why don't you start taking it anyway and see how you feel? Might be the little nudge you need!