So, what's it like going from 3-4?

[Zippidydoodah]

I've mentioned on another thread here that we are inexplicably thinking about number 4, from being absolutely adamant that we were done at 3!

Having the third was hard work and led to me having to give up my job. Now youngest is 2, I'm starting to feel more like me, but also broody with it!

Am I mad?! Please tell me what it's like going from 3-4?

Hi Zippidy how r things now?

How are you Zip? Has your dp come 'round?

Hi! Sorry I didn't see your messages, tsoto and aoibhe.

Hmm. Not great, really. I feel rubbish with nausea/tiredness, and dp is working long, long hours. We are barely talking to be honest.

Thanks for asking! Bet you wish you didn't!

NoCapes- how are things with you?

One of the school run mums has just had her fourth. Nice family, kids always immaculately presented unlike mine!!

If they can do it, we can, right?!

Of course you can hun. Keep thinking positive and just take one step at a time.
God knows what mine are going to look like next week when they go back to school specially now I've got dd2 to get ready for school too. Dd3 will probably still be on pj's and I'll be one of those that does school run in my pj's with my bed hair and teeth not brushed coz be too pre occupied with kids.
All joking aside I need to get extra organised no thinking oh I'll do that tomo. Dd1 and ds are really good at getting their suff sorted for school but I need to keep on top of getting everything ready the night before and making sure everything is in layer out for dd2 so she can go on and get sorted and lay dd3 and my own clothes out night before

Thanks, tsoto!

I've been lulled into summer holiday mood and have forgotten just how stressful term time can be- eek!

Congratulations

I honestly don't know if we'll go 3-4

Tbh I'd be more keen if we could guarantee the sex to 'even things out'

Hi Zippidy and congratulations! How are you feeling about dc4 now?!! Just looking at this and saw your update. I see you asked me up thread about people's reactions...they have been varied but quite amusing!!! Actually I think when people have a really strong reaction it is often saying more about them than it is about you iykwim. Some people have just covered their faces in shock, some say oh no! Some just laugh and lots think I am joking! Lots of comments at work like you need to get a hobby/TV etc. But lots of folk very lovely too. And a surprising number of people who turn out to be a twin/have a twin etc!

Just thought I'd join in! Just found I'm pregnant with number 4 Still getting my head round it really but I'm excited too. Just more worried how on earth we'll cope! It's the housework and washing I struggle to keep on top off now never mind with 4. How do other people manage with that side of things? The after school activities (swimming,gymnastics,brownies,football etc) , parties, homework etc we manage fine. I'm currently halfway through a degree and we run a business. I'll maybe get a cleaner lol. My other monkeys will be 9,5 and 2

Just thought I'd join in! Just found I'm pregnant with number 4 Still getting my head round it really but I'm excited too. Just more worried how on earth we'll cope! It's the housework and washing I struggle to keep on top off now never mind with 4. How do other people manage with that side of things? The after school activities (swimming,gymnastics,brownies,football etc) , parties, homework etc we manage fine. I'm currently halfway through a degree and we run a business. I'll maybe get a cleaner lol. My other monkeys will be 9,5 and 2

I haven't rtft but just to say we have 4. We had dd after 3 Ds's and she's the perfect final addition to the family. We assumed no4 would be another boy and weren't just 'trying for a girl'.
It didn't make much difference work wise, just an extra 2 years of sleepless nights and nappies! We are past the baby stage now and no longer broody. Just very happy with our precious little gang
I don't think I would have ever stopped being broody if we hadn't had her so my advice is to go for it

I'd love number 4, I can't find anyway to justify it though apart from 'because I'd like another!'

What a lovely message Fedup it's great to see such positivity. I'm with Brokenbiscuits and would love a fourth but get scared reading horror stories!

Hope things have settled for you zippy

dm86 please come over to the June antenatal board - I've also just found out I'm pregnant with DC4, other 3 DC are 4, 6 and 8. We couldn't make a strong case for or against so decided to try and see! We are keeping it to ourselves for a while, I think people will ask us if we have a TVs but also don't want it to drag in if we tell the DC too soon!

I must be in the minority, I found the hardest number was 1 as they rely on you for everything, company, playmate, mum, etc...then number 2...3 came along and suddenly they entertained each other! There is the initial period when they are babys but depends on the age gaps with their siblings, some want to help out with baby from the word go...:) x

I found it easy, a fourth just slotted in to the life we had
It cdnt have been too bad as I'm due any day with our fifth 😁

Thought I'd pop on to update, DC4 is now one week old and has slotted in perfectly. I feel like he's always been here!

Im on child number three at the mo and cant wait to have another, my eldest is three, then i have a 20month old and 5monther, all boys, little girl would be nice next time however main thing is they are healthy

I've just spent the last while reading this thread from start to finish and would love to see an update from the OP

Undecided here about a fourth and have spent the past week reading the no4 threads. I have to say that the majority seem to be quite negative The decision to have 1 & 2 was easy, 3 was scary, but 4 is terrifying! I'm really torn on it and feel my age and the kids ages (I already have huge age gaps due to circumstances a few years ago, Youngest is now 3).

Hi 2pink only positive stuff here I love having 4 and if I had my way would definitely have another. There's 4 1/2 years between dd2 and dd3. The older 3 adore dd3 and she adores them ( shame the feeling isn't mutual between the rest of them but spose you can't win them all )

Hi ladies, I'm new to mumsnet so please be gentle with me!
I've been reading this thread with interest as I too have 3 children and am contemplating a 4th. I too would like some advice, so I hope the OP doesn't mind me hijacking this thread just slightly!?
My situation is that I have 3 lovely, bright and well-behaved (most of the time) boys. Ages are: 11, 11 and 8. We decided after no.3 that our family felt complete. But 8 years after my youngest was born, I'm starting to feel broody again.
I remember it being tricky at times when the boys were young (childhood illnesses being the worst part for me...and lack of sleep in the early days), but I really have enjoyed all stages of pregnancy and motherhood and having 3 kids aged 3 and under didn't phase me at all, although I could be looking back on the first few years of babyhood with rose-tinted glasses! The mind has a clever way of making you forget.

Anyway, I guess what I want to say is that even though I was sure I was done, I've began to wonder what family life would be like with #4. I am one of 4 and we didn't have lots of money etc growing up, and I didn't have my own room till I was about 11, but I loved it. I love being one of 4, as my parents, particularly my mum, had so much love that I never felt left out or felt that I had less than my friends etc.
I'm very like my mum in the sense that I have so much love to give - so much in fact, that my boys get annoyed with me because I'm always pestering them for hugs etc.
Financially we are comfortable. My husband does work long hours and can spend nights away, but that's always been the case so I'm used to it. I also figured that having a large gap could work in my favour as all of the boys are at school and the twins will be at Secondary school this Sept and are already becoming independent.
However, they haven't hit their teen years yet so that could cause some issues. Maybe having a little bro or sis will keep them a little more chilled? Or would they be resentful? I suppose each family is different so any advice given is subjective.
I think I just want to be told that it's a good idea and that those of you that went from 3 to 4 or 4 to 5 did it without any issues.
However, I'm not that naive so I know it would be tough at times.
I broached the subject with my very grown-up 8 year old and he said, 'Sorry but I think you are too old and you might die when the baby turns 20'. That was a sobering thought, but as I'm now 40 - he has a point. However, I'd like to think I'd live past 60 - but who knows when my time is up; I could live to be 100!!
Am I too old? Am I actually crazy? Am I being selfish? Or would having a fourth be the best decision we've made in the last 8 years?
I'm so sorry, I've totally droned on.
Just nice to get this off my chest as DH is the only one I've talked to about it (and he's still undecided too).

Will keep reading thread to see if anyone has some words of wisdom for me.

Thank you tsotofamily, that's nice and reassuring. (I was 2pink you replied to but have name changed). It's just that I found the first year or 2 with 3 so hard, absolutely nothing prepared me for it. 2 was a breeze in comparison. DS Is 3 and life is finally easy(ier) again, we have fun, life is good, we've adorable and happy DC. I know if I asked on another forum the replies would be to be happy with I have, and that's the logical thing to do, but the heart wants just one more

I think if we do go for it I would be better prepared for how difficult it will be in the beginning and ask for help or hire help. I was back doing school runs (2 different drop offs and collections) within days with BF newborn ds and felt like I never got to sit down and bond with him or leave him sleep properly because we were always on the go those months were so hard because he used to hate the car and cry inconsolably. Although if I did conceive over the Summer or Autumn at least the baby would be due before their Summer holidays from school. Sorry, I'm rambling now...

Foreveryoung40 I feel like I can't answer your question because it's the same decision I'm struggling with. You have valid points. I have an even larger age gap, dd (14, who we had when we were very young), dd (8, when we found out feet and were in a position to have another) and DS who is 3. I think our families would think we are mad too. None have more than 2 and I think they were surprised when we were having #3. I know I shouldn't let their opinions bother me, but I'm very sensitive!
I have to laugh at what your ds said, they don't mince their words!!

Foreveryoung40 I've just noticed that you've twins. How lovely, but how would you feel about another set? That's something else to consider!

Hi Alcea,

Yes the first two were twins but that was because I have PCO and wasn't ovulating when I came off the pill. No period for a year! So then doc advised me to try fertility drugs and after another year and 4 months I conceived twins (as a result of the drugs). I knew I would release 2 eggs as I could see one leading follicle on each ovary during a scan. I knew that I would take the risk and up my drug dosage slightly in the hope that both follicles would release an egg - and they did! Was still a shock mind you, but we were told at 6 weeks that it was twins and I couldn't have been more over the moon. Given the choice I would've still chosen to be pregnant with twins then - but now? Holy moly, I'm not sure. They do say you get more fertile as you get older, so it would be a risk. There aren't any twins in my family, but I'm definitely more fertile than I used to be. I conceived #3 within a couple of months and I now take Agnus Castus which keep my periods regular. I can feel it when I ovulate as some months it's quite painful!
The thing is....oh boy here we go....there is a slight chance that I could be up the duff as I sit here typing this. I can't believe I'm about to confess to this but DH and I were fooling around the other day, however he didn't seal the deal iykwim. I track my cycles and was sure I wouldn't ovulate for another 9 days, however, about 4 days after our 'fooling around' happened, I've had all sorts of weird feelings and I just feel different. I had ovulation cramps not long after the deed and then it dawned on me that I may have ovulated early (has happened before). My husband also recently squeezed my boobs, as they do, and said, 'You must be pregnant. Your boobs are bigger'. Maybe I'm just due on and that's why I have pregnancy symptoms. The indigestion is the main alarm bell...and extreme tiredness, like I've been run over by a truck, but that could be this weird thundery weather we've had - I just don't know.
All a bit silly I know, but since then I've been obsessing about whether pre-ejaculate can get you pregnant (it can), and how long sperm can live in the vagina (sometimes up to a week!!), and so you can see where my thoughts are going!!

I won't know for sure until I test...next week maybe?? But thinking that I might be pg has made me think that I might want to be - but maybe I'm just telling myself that. I don't know. There is no easy answer here. If I am then I am and I'm sure it will all work out - but if I'm not, should I start ttc anyway?
Just nice to know I'm not alone in my journey of a possible 4th baby.