So, what's it like going from 3-4?

[Zippidydoodah]

I've mentioned on another thread here that we are inexplicably thinking about number 4, from being absolutely adamant that we were done at 3!

Having the third was hard work and led to me having to give up my job. Now youngest is 2, I'm starting to feel more like me, but also broody with it!

Am I mad?! Please tell me what it's like going from 3-4?

Thanks surf, yes when you think of Christmas it does seem soon. By Christmas my baby will be atleast 8ish weeks old! I've never had such a small baby at Christmas, youngest previously was 7 months so this will be a new experience!
Looking forward to being all warm and snuggly together!
Just sounds ages when I think, I'm 26+4. So possibly 13+3 left to go....

Barely noticed; had 12m between 3&4 and it was amazing; love it!!!!

No.4 is only currently 6 days old but I'm loving having 4 already. She's fitted in really well and her brother and sisters love her soooo much already

I've just returned to say that we are back in the running for number four!! Eek!

Ooh, did the vasectomy discussion crystallise it for you then OP? Or did you win the lottery

I wish we'd won the lottery!!

Maybe it's the vasectomy discussion...although we have done some sums and can't really afford another child....we have suddenly decided we want one!! I think we're mad, but hey! Loved reading the last two responses, thanks!

Mishmash and tsoto- did you already have the bigger car? Do either of you have a sahp (you or your other halves)?

Zippidy - that's great news.
Yes we already had a 7 seater. I work pt and I'm lucky enough my weekday shifts I can drop kids at school and be back in time to pick them up. Unfortunately tho I have to work every other weekend.
Financially gonna have to be more frugal and I no longer go mad when it comes to buy stuff for Xmas and birthdays, family will give some money instead of gifts as well so we put this towards activities they want to do.
I'm loving 4 that much I'm already thinking what 5 would be like, or is that just my hormones settling back down lol x

Haha, tsoto! What's one more, hey?! (Joking- five would kill us- hopefully potential number 4 won't be twins!!) 😱😱

We will have to be frugal, too, so no more takeaway curries etc for a while! I'm a sahm at the mo amd youngest starts preschool in spring. Will need to find some kind of job after potential number four was born, good luck to me, hey!

People with four- did you find it balanced your family in some way, going from three to four children? Spending time this afternoon with my three and a friend's toddler was lovely, as everyone had a partner....

I do think what's one more

I have found that when I have extras as in even numbers they get on better as they all have someone to play with, when I've had odd numbers there's always one that comes complaining that they have no one to play with

Zippidy; we had to buy a 7 seater but managed to trade up in size but not really in price. We had a Renault espace and have just swapped that for a quashqai +2 as my 2 youngest are 5&6 now. I am a SAHM bit did used to workweek ends. Hubbie took a promotion st work 2 years ago though and travels A LOT so I gave up work as i was using most of my holiday to cover says when hubbie wasn't around. I am definitely glad we had number 4. All my friends who had no 3 at the same time find that now their older ones r growing up, number 3 is always on their own where's my boys have each other!

I found having number four harder work than any of the other jumps tbh. My others were 7, 5 and 21 months. Ds was a difficult baby though with severe allergies, anaphylaxis, awful excema and was later diagnosed with autism. The jump from 4 to 5 though was a doddle.

I've been following this thread from day 1. After a glass or 3 of wine so feeling brave enough to post.

My worries are:

How will I cope? I found the first year with 3 very hard and had horrendous guilt for the older 2.
What people will think
Childcare during the birth (talk about jumping ahead of myself)
Finances. We like our holidays, meals out, new clothes, etc. I really can't imagine affording such things for 4DC. Youngest is just about to turn 2, so
a lot of things are still free but there would come a day when we would have to pay for 4 😬😱
Pushing my luck - I've never had a miscarriage, a difficult birth, a special needs child etc. I had a boy after 2 girls (sorry if this is insensitive or offends) and really felt so incredibly lucky. Why is it that this just doesn't feel 'enough'?
This sounds extremely shallow, but after DC3, I worked so hard to get my figure and finally feel and look much better than I ever did 😳
I'm worried that I crave and miss pregnancy, impending labour, a newborn, breastfeeding, etc and that I'm not considering the true reality of a child

Can anyone relate?

Dh is a star, and will go with whatever I want but I should mention that his work involves travelling, so I'm very much on my own a lot of the time. I would consider hiring help, perhaps a cleaner, as that I feel was the main reason for my stress during the first year with #3

Any thoughts? Am I crazy? 😁

Aoibhe- if you are, so am I!!

You make very valid points, all of which are on my list too. (Although I have had three miscarriages between children, so this could of course be a factor....)

It's very much a head vs heart decision for us. We are currently a mixture of panicked and excited about the fact that we possibly
could have conceived this month...!)

I think the reality of it would be so, so difficult (my dp is away a lot too) but looking at our three now that things are starting to settle, we can really imagine another one running around with them in a few years' time.

Oh, and there is the small matter of having disposed of ALL of our baby stuff after number three! All of it. We were so dead set on three.

Insan1; whilst I love having 4 my number 4 is often called the "runt of the litter" by hubbie! He had very severe excema from day 1, did not sleep at night and was eventually diagnosed with severe allergies (anaphylaxis here too sadly) Perhaps as my 3&4 have got older the enjoyment I get from them has become more obvious. It was certainly hard initially with number 4 but that difficult first year doesn't erase the absolute joy we get from child no 4.

Ooh zippidy that is an exciting development! Well I guess our situation is proof that it is possible for dc 4 to become 4 and 5 but I expect it isn't so common!!! We had a bigger car already and kept our baby stuff as our baby is only 1 year anyway, and we were never able to say never again! He has brought us so much joy. I will probably become a SAHM because my salary won't cover three kids in nursery, but hopefully if I want to return to the same career in a few years/when they are all at school then I could return. We won't need to move but will be more pushed for space. I am the fourth of four and loved it! I worry a little about having an odd number and potentially number 3 being the odd one out, but then there will be less than 2 years between him and the twins so hopefully they'll be a wee gang of amigos whether the twins are boys or girls. We shall see!! Exciting to read your update and you sound excited too!

Thank you surf! Can't remember if I asked you before; what have people's responses been when you've told them about your impending twins? I know other people's responses shouldn't affect us at all, but when I told my mum we were having number three she seemed worried about how we'd manage! I think some people won't be surprised though!

Insan1ty- we do worry that our three are healthy (touch wood) and a fourth might have health issues...heartened to see that you went for a fifth, though!

Yes number 5 was a surprise blessing Having number four shook my confidence if I'm honest I breezed through the first three, life ran like clockwork (they were very easy babies /toddlers/children) and then ds arrived a screaming, angry bundle who didn't stop screaming for the first seven years. Someone once said to me "He looked down and saw how easy you had it and sent you number four for a laugh " because he was so very obviously different and difficult in comparison.
Dd arrived when ds was just eight and she was the most happy, placid little thing and ds loved her from the off when it always felt as though he barely tolerated the rest of us. Having dd seemed to make things slot into place, ds learned an awful lot about waiting and sharing and being gentle and considering someone else's needs and I realised that I was a pretty good mum in spite of ds being so difficult because for years it had felt as though I was hopeless because ds was largely feral in spite of everything I gave.
Dd has autism too and even that is ok because I had learned a lot and ds made great strides so I knew I could do it again I suppose and now ds is 21 and dd 13 and life is pretty good most of the time .

Thank you for sharing, insan1ty, and hats off to you!!

It's lovely to hear of the positive impact your dd had on the rest of your family. I look at dc3 now and am so grateful and delighted that we had her. She has been the making of my dc2.

We have four, our dc4 is 7 now, so a way off the baby days. We had four 4 years and under which was hard in the early days.

However we were lucky as we never gave up on holidays and always took them to lots of places. My dh and I worked a lot from home (I still do) and had some flexibility although had no family around.

The kids get on do well now, when we go.away we never have to worry about kids clubs as they love playing together.

We have invested loads in family time and as a result dh and I have zero hobbies and a tiny social life but it was our choice.

I don't think the kids feel deprived or go without anything. We do have a nanny now who.is part of the family too and we love her lime a fifth child.

It has not been easy, we had ups and downs and I am regularly shattered but most people think we are a good solid and United family x good luck x