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Original poster

So, what's it like going from 3-4?

167 replies

Zippidydoodah · 04/06/2016 09:22

I've mentioned on another thread here that we are inexplicably thinking about number 4, from being absolutely adamant that we were done at 3!

Having the third was hard work and led to me having to give up my job. Now youngest is 2, I'm starting to feel more like me, but also broody with it!

Am I mad?! Please tell me what it's like going from 3-4?

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Tricerasaurus · 04/06/2016 09:24

I am pregnant with our fourth so cannot tell you yet but already the practicalities are weighing heavy. We have bought a new car/van, we have had to have our second bathroom pulled out and made into a bedroom and my have reduced the number of after school clubs the older kids do as I won't have the time or money to get them there.

Original poster
Zippidydoodah · 04/06/2016 10:38

Thanks, trice! Congratulations! How old are your other three?

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Zippidydoodah · 04/06/2016 10:40

And also how many bedrooms do you now have? We have 4, and my two girls could share as dds room is big.

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Tricerasaurus · 04/06/2016 10:40

When this one arrives my eldest will just have turned 9, the second will be just 7 and our third will be 3.5.

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout · 04/06/2016 10:41

We went from 3 to 5!

When I thought we were having a singleton, I was quite confident that it'd be easy and we'd barely even know the new baby was there! Twins was a different matter, however!

I still maintain that one new baby would've been quite easy - taking turns with wakeful nights, confidence that you know what you're doing, older kids to help a little. Simple! Grin

Tricerasaurus · 04/06/2016 10:42

We actually have 5 bedrooms now we have done the work. But one room (the only en suite!) is used by our au pair who is essential to our life as I work. My girls will share when this one comes.

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Zippidydoodah · 04/06/2016 10:44

Thanks again!

Oh blimey, ILove, twins would probably kill us! Grin how old are your five?

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Tricerasaurus · 04/06/2016 11:33

Zippi - what are your age gaps?

BeauticianNotMagician81 · 04/06/2016 11:56

I'm also expecting number 4 in 5 weeks so can't tell you too much yet. We already had a 7 seater car. We will have 4 boys. So far we have ds1 11, ds2 10 and ds3 3.

We have a four bedroomed house. Ds1 is downstairs in a box room, ds2 has the upstairs box room and ds3 has the biggest room as he will eventually share with the baby. Had the baby been a girl we probably would have tried ds2 & 3 in together.

The main expense here will be food. I have learnt to shop wisely. Clothes wise it's not too bad for us as they are all the same sex ds2 had ds1s hand me downs and ds4 will have ds3s. I don't do it so much now as ds2 complains but it works when they are young. I tend to shop in next as the quality as good and I know will last to the next child.

Original poster
Zippidydoodah · 04/06/2016 18:51

Thanks beautician, and congrats on your impending arrival!

Ours are still young-,6, 4 and 2. I'm thinking maybe we'll wait a while and have a bigger age gap, but we purposely have small gaps so they could grow up together.......hmmm!

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Zippidydoodah · 04/06/2016 18:52

I have to add that we have got rid of AAAALL the baby stuff, including clothes!! Shock

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LostInMess · 04/06/2016 18:56

I had my 4th 8.5 months ago. TBH, I'm finding it hard and did in fact come on here seeking advice, so probably not the best person to ask! I also found 2-3 hard and matters probably not helped by the fact that DC3 (aged 4) is still an erratic sleeper while DC4 is a shocker so permanently knackered. I also am far more shouty than I want to be and perennially guilty, both for shouting all the time and for not having the time I want for my older 3. DC3 is still at preschool until the summer but DC1&2 are at school and I find it hard to make time for them. Homework is a particular challenge (they are 8 & 6 - don't want to think about when DC3 starts getting homework).

The flip side, I am reasonably sure (hopeful) it will get easier. Keep having to remind myself we knew first year or so would be hard (we don't make sleepers) and to focus on the good bits. DC1-3 absolutely love their little brother and he loves them and is an adorable little chap. They've all gone a bit feral though and it's very noisy and tiring but sometimes I can see it might work one day. Logistically, we had all the larger stuff,
so no prob there. 4 bedrooms but one is very big so sharing fine for now and one can be partitioned in due course if needed.

Other factor is that DH works long hours and isn't generally here at bedtimes and we have no family nearby - I suspect that if you do, it might make life quite different. I do know quite a few with 4 locally and they all
seem fairly same, so there's hope. Smile

Buttwing · 04/06/2016 21:44

Honestly? I found it really hard. A lot of my friends who have 4+ kids told me it would fine and easy and it really wasn't! A big part of it was that I had a really small age gap between 3 and 4 and I also had a preschooler, three under five for the first year was really tough.
They are now 11,5,2 and 1 it's slowly getting easier but it's honestly stopped us doing a lot of things because it's just not worth the hassle. We haven't been away on holiday and going out for meals just isn't worth it anymore occasionally we brave pizza express.
I would recommend taking any help/support that you are offered I've also lowered my expectations in terms cleaning and the general state of the house. If you can afford it get a cleaner, mine is a godsend she comes once a week and totally blitzes the house.
Although I totally adore dc4 and wouldn't change things now four dc is incredibly hard work and leaves very little time for anything else.

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Zippidydoodah · 04/06/2016 21:53

Thank you so much for the honesty!

I already have rock bottom lowered expectations of house cleanliness etc! Blush

Maybe I should just enjoy the three we have Smile

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Original poster
Zippidydoodah · 04/06/2016 21:54

I do think it'll be a consideration for a couple of years time...not quite yet! Haven't ruled it out yet!!

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Buttwing · 04/06/2016 22:06

Sorry zippiddy reading my post it sounds all doom and gloom! I think the early days are tough and in my case having two tantruming toddlers is tough but as I said the small age gap is a huge factor.
It's also the end of a very long two week school holiday which is probably influencing my moodGrin
I think once you are thinking about or have decided to have another baby you will do it no matter what anyone else says (I know I would have!)
People have told me it gets much easier as they get older I bloody hope so so I'm hoping that true!!!

Twopots · 04/06/2016 23:23

I have three bc and do short term fostering so regularly go to 4. I really struggle keeping on top on washing, ironing and cleaning but have no problem with the extra child - think I struggle with the other stuff as I would rather go out playing than stay in cleaning 😊

Original poster
Zippidydoodah · 04/06/2016 23:34

Oh my goodness twopots, I'm like that too! I am either playing/taking them out, or sitting with a cuppa and mn whilst offering cuddles 😄

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Original poster
Zippidydoodah · 04/06/2016 23:35

I really really can't do much housework while they're around. Either they're fighting, or they're sitting watching something which makes me feel very guilty!

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Zippidydoodah · 04/06/2016 23:36

Oh, I should add that they do play really nicely together a lot, but then I'm too busy listening or watching them to clean! Grin

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vikingorigins · 05/06/2016 00:16

We didn't really notice our 4th after the initial panic of bedrooms and car seats. Ours were 2, 4, and 5 1/2.

I think it may have been harder with a bigger gap because we were still in the baby mindset.

But then simultaneous Y9 SATS, Gcse And A levels several times over wasn't much fun Grin

Suzietwo · 05/06/2016 07:54

I have 3 (2, 4 and 6) with 4th arriving next week. We have extended to loft to get more space (and are mid work -erk) because although we have 4 beds, we often have visitors so one bed is a dedicated spare room. I also want to be able to give them 2 options for places to be if possible, so the 6 year old isn't forced to watch peppa pig for umpteenth time. I appreciate he could read an improving book in the kitchen but hey, this is real life!

I was totally unconcerned about the impact of 4th until last night when I got up to pee yet again and realised in a few days I'll be having to get up in the night and stay up to feed. Sleep deprivation doesn't bring out the best in anyone!

Original poster
Zippidydoodah · 05/06/2016 08:09

Oh I'm so torn! The two girls have really started hanging up on their brother recently. I always said I'd either have 2 or 4, as I was one of three and it wasn't great for my two younger siblings Sad

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Zippidydoodah · 05/06/2016 08:10

*ganging up!

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MavolioBent · 05/06/2016 08:23

We have 4. My older 3 are same age gap as yours and 4.5 years between dc3 and 4.

The early days were hard in some ways and easier in others. All older dc at school so just me and baby in the day and we had a good routine. Weekends,and holidays were harder but we got through. Dc4 is 3 now and despite the sibling fighting things are much easier.