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Original poster

Multiple failures, a place to chat

999 replies

Zippybear · 05/02/2017 08:27

Anyone else out there with multiple failures wondering what to do next? We've just had our fourth embryo transfer fail. Issues on both sides. In the last year I've had two surgeries, dh has had one and we are still no further forward. We haven't had a holiday that wasn't time off for ivf since 2015. We feel battered and bruised and stuck on a hellish infertility rollercoaster that we can't get off unless we want to accept childlessness Sad we have another nhs cycle but I'm not sure I can cope with it (or if there is any point). I don't know whether to give up, think of donor, adoption or just accept our lot. Anyone else wondering the same?

OP posts:
lesslea · 24/01/2018 03:29

Just wondering if anyone has done the DCN's workshop for those thinking of egg donation? If so, I'd be really interested to hear how you found it. www.dcnetwork.org/workshop/preparation

Big congrats isthismummy and hi SierraGhost.

Purpledaisies - I had a similar thing happen with friends who knew we were going through IVF announcing they were pregnant and showing us pics of their scans etc. It's crazy how much it hurts - I've had so many sleepless nights over it. Hope you are feeling a bit better now and can get some space for yourself away from it all to recover a bit. This can be such a lonely thing to go through.

user1497036202 · 30/01/2018 23:15

I hope you don't mind me joining - I have been following the thread but been a little quiet while we are considering what we are doing.

This week we start our 4th and last ivf cycle - feeling ok about it I think but if am honest feel slightly over it all as well- I definitely feel like I have had enough.

2 pregnancy and a birth announcement today - when will it end?! X

TammySwanson · 08/02/2018 16:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mrsfw · 08/02/2018 17:25

I didn’t see that one Tammy, might check it out later... 🙈What I do want to say however is a belated happy 1 year anniversary to this thread and the marvellous Zippy for starting it 🥂

Mrsfw · 08/02/2018 17:34

Oh and you are definitely NOT a bitch!

fourpawswhite · 08/02/2018 19:38

Didn't see it Tammy, thank god. But did just lose temper with someone bitching at OP Winkon chat because the OP split some kids up who were messing about on the road.

One year, that's crazy.

Thank you zippy and each and every one of you.

EarlGreyT · 08/02/2018 23:26

Delurking just to say happy anniversary to you all. Thank you zippy for starting the thread and to all of you for helping keep me sane.

Tammy you’re definitely not a bitch, but it did take me a while to work out which thread you are referring to.

Re-lurks.

Original poster
Zippybear · 09/02/2018 22:29

Hello and happy one year anniversary to you all! 🥂 think I missed that one tammy but have an idea what you are talking about, will go have a look now! Hope everyone is ok out there, it's been very quiet here of late

OP posts:
Mrsfw · 10/02/2018 07:39

Have any of you had an MRI on your cervix before? I’ve just had my 8th cycle fail at 8 weeks pregnant and currently waiting to miscarry... it’s been suggested as a last possible test...

TammySwanson · 10/02/2018 07:40

Sometimes I feel like we should just let the spammers have this board and see what happens (in an experimental sort of way), and then open another board (which Mumsnet affords the protection that other boards have, no idea why they can't do that here) which is actual genuine posters. I'm so sick of it.

Original poster
Zippybear · 10/02/2018 08:49

I'm so so sorry to hear this mrsfw I've never heard of an mri looking at the cervix. Worth having a look on fertilityfriends? How are you coping? ThanksThanksThanks

OP posts:
fourpawswhite · 10/02/2018 08:49

I'm very sorry to hear that mrsfw . I have not had one done but have just had a google for you ( as I am sure you have already done) and there is an article from Leeds university about using it to detect weakness in cervix.

I'm here if you need a handhold in the coming days.

Original poster
Zippybear · 10/02/2018 08:50

Yes tammy it's really ridiculous now, surely something can be done

OP posts:
Mrsfw · 10/02/2018 09:14

Thanks Zippy & Fourpaws, appreciated. I hadn’t actually seen the Leeds uni article, will have a look. It’s been a tough week. I suppose I feel lucky to have had the chance to experience pregnancy for the short time that I did. It’s all a cruel joke really. Urgh....

TammySwanson · 10/02/2018 09:46

mrsfw> So sorry, I cross posted with you and then went out so I didn't see your post til now. So sorry that you are going through it again Flowers. I don't have any experience of an MRI for fertility either.

Mrsfw · 10/02/2018 10:49

Thanks Tammy- no problem, it was a very ‘me’ post anyway. URGH
Anyone doing better than I am at the moment. Sometimes I feel like I am going to lose my mind over this it all feels so surreal. Xx

Original poster
Zippybear · 10/02/2018 14:16

I can't imagine what you are going through mrsfw cruel joke is so so apt. No words that I can't say to help.. just virtual support any time you need

OP posts:
Original poster
Zippybear · 10/02/2018 14:27

..can say

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 13/02/2018 14:10

Anyone seen the AIBU thread currently running? Apparently it’s fine to be childless because you can go on amazing holidays and have cream carpets.

Mrsfw · 13/02/2018 14:41

It’s hideoys Purple, well done to you and Tips for engaging in it. The OP is clearly being goady, it’s an awful, stupid post. I feel exactly as you do Tips x

Mrsfw · 13/02/2018 14:46

I also cannot believe that anyone who has experienced infertility and not being able to achieve a child would write such a cruel post. Basically we should all just get over ourselves 😔

PurpleDaisies · 13/02/2018 14:53

I’m considering hiding it now. I can’t believe the posters who seem to think having had a child after struggling means they know what never having a child is like. It makes me so angry.

TipsNotHacks · 13/02/2018 16:48

Sheesh, that thread. I couldn’t help
Myself. Thing is though, whether we like it or not, this IS the popular opinion, isn’t it? “Get over it”, “I wish tips would just live her life and stop obsessing over it”, “maybe then it might work, like it did for us”. Etc etc etc. You just cannot understand how this experience filters into every inch of your life unless you’ve lived it.

I’ve not been on this thread much lately (failed my latest IVF cycle in Jan) but fuck, you ladies are my people. Flowers

Mrsfw · 13/02/2018 21:15

Oh Tips, am so sorry to hear that, are you ok?
I absolutely agree, ppl become so self righteous and I just don’t believe they’ve experienced infertility. What on Earth was the OP hoping to achieve.

bananafish81 · 14/02/2018 17:13

God I just saw the first couple of posts on that AIBU thread and realised that if I waded in I was gonna lose my shit and end up going off on one of my usual barren warrior rants / smack downs

I'm currently already engaged in battle on an AIBU thread about surrogacy, where actual surros and actual intended mothers who have first hand experience of surrogacy, are told they're wrong by women who know nothing about the surrogacy process

I am so very sorry for your loss Mrs, words seem so hollow - sending you so much love and strength Thanks

Welcome tips, so very sorry you find yourself here, but as you are, you're very welcome - we militant barrens have to stick together

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