The mind numbing boredom of infertility III

[icy121]

Are you Barren & Bored? You've come to the right place!

We do: swearing, empathy, bitterness, tears, sardonic laughter, glittery shit and mocking idiots who know nothing jon snow.

We don't do: baby dust, relentless positivity, "u ok hun", "I had a friend who..", pithy advice or sentimentality generally.

Previous threads 1 and 2.

Now that you've got all that down, welcome to the barren ghetto.

Pebbles Yep waiting to see my consultant (6th June!) and waiting on MRI scan to confirm septate uterus found on HSG. Not sure when i'll get the MRI though.

I am super grumpy this week post night duty, also have been eating carbs all night long every night in work. My insulin levels are likely through the roof but I REGRET NOTHING!!

I'm having the biggest lazy weekend ever, only thing i plan on making time for is a Nandos (barrentastic) and maybe some online shopping. Brill barren weekend :)

Congrats to banana on the class collection of eggs. You have super ovaries!!

Done pebbles, let's stab together. What fun. Is this your first cycle or are you an old hand?

Good luck karla and boo to the rumor mill. I have alleviated that problem by telling all and sundry that I'm starting ivf. Luckily I have a very understanding boss who's been through it countless times (with success, I should add!) do i feel fine being open about it at work.

Hello fiends. I've mostly been lurking as we were going through a FET, found out this morning that it's failed, which is what I expected but DH had so much hope. I'm worried about how he's going to process things. We've had 2 previous ICSI cycles, one negative and one chemical pregnancy. This time round we decided to be open and honest with friends and family and I'm dreading having to tell them. Usually DH is the pragmatic one and I'm a wreck but this time round it seems the other way round, I've had period type cramps for most of this week so was expecting things to end badly, but he's been really moody, distant and sad for the last few days and I don't know what to do. I came home from work yesterday and he'd clearly been crying but stormed off when I tried to comfort him. Was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how best to support their other half through this horrible never ending process?

Banana have you had the call yet?? 🍌🍌

pink sorry to hear FET didn't work. All I'd say is give yourself time and permission to regroup. Say no to things you don't want to do. You're both grieving, so all you can do is be there for each other.
What's the cause of the infertility - only ask because if it's 'him' then that might be why he's so upset? i guess keep talking but don't force it? Maybe just do a Netflix binge with a big glass of wine and cuddle together on the sofa, that's what I do with OH. Sometimes you don't need words because it's just abjectly shit and you've said all you need/want/can on the subject.

hugs glittery shit and a bucket of gin

Hi fiends - glitter rainbow shit to you all

On phone so can't do personals, less 'me me me' post to follow

Had THE CALL from the love lab this morning, amazingly 22 out of the 28 eggs were mature, and 19 of these fertilised overnight. Phew!

🍌 - that's fantastic! Hurrah for 19 fertilised eggs! How are you feeling? It's been nearly a fortnight since my EC and am still bloated?! Hope you're doing better than that!

karla I wish you all the best for Monday, and congrats on the promotion! I am choosing to be not pregnant this summer. It is indeed liberating. If Monday doesn't go well then why not join me on the cake ?

Banana that's brilliant, you and icy are record breaking egg making machines!

Pink I'm sorry to hear your news. My DH was devastated when we had the scan confirming dead foetus, i was already thinking it hadn't worked and was very pessimistic. He was hopeful and had further to fall. I don't know that I can help you though because I didn't know what to do, and luckily he bounced back himself. I echo icy about spending time together and saying no to things you don't want to do. I hope you find comfort in each other.

Nurse love your weekend plans. Enjoy!

Yes to being RL friends (fiends?) Pebbles. Shall we start menu planning? I'm always up for chocolate and booze but I am veggie, which might spoil your fun?

Had a day off today and spent it with two friends with babies. It was lovely, I was fine. Although one of them (babies, not friends) puked on me right before i left.

Happy bank holiday everyone!

Congrats banana, you're an egg machine!

Pink I'm so sorry - it's such a shitty time when you have a failed cycle (chemical pregnancies are awful too as you get a flash of hope before it gets whisked away).

I agree with icy, give yourselves time to feel it and be kind to yourselves. DH is falling apart at the moment - his brother's wife has just had their second baby and its hit him really hard. He's spent the last couple of days crying and ignoring his family's texts.

All you can do is be there for him. I think it takes men longer to deal with these things as they can't feel it all going on. As banana says, I think they maybe have more hope so it's harder when it doesn't work out.

Do you think your DH would see a counsellor? After four years TTC we're finally pulling our fingers out and looking into it. It might help him to speak to someone separate, perhaps?

Sorry for the essay! Xxxx

Doh I meant 'as potatoes said', I'm mixing up everyone's excellent advice!

Thanks ladies for all your lovely messages and the glitter shit

Pebbles I reckon it sounds like you’re doing really well - everything in moderation, and frankly this process is stressful enough without allowing ourselves a little slack. Hope AF turns up - you’ll be an accomplished needlesmith in no time

zenzie welcome and good luck with your upcoming cycle. Diet wise my consultant advised lots of protein was great for egg quality (if you google it, there’s quite a few studies about this), & tonnes of water. The ARGC clinic also tell patients to drink a shedload of milk while stimming, I think

Potatoes yes, yes, yes, yes and yes to gin, chocolate, potatoes, pasta and bread. All the major food groups, yeah?

Grumpel hope that follie is ready to pop, and your frosticle will soon be on board

Peaop Interestingly, I found it actually didn’t feel any different jab-wise whether I was doing a v high dose (450iu) or a mild dose (75iu). Happy stabbing!

icy sorry to hear you’ve not deflated - are you feeling any less uncomfortable? What’s the next step for you?

karla huge congrats on the promotion - nice one!! Can’t believe your colleagues - what the fuck is wrong with people? And in the workplace FFS! Everything crossed for Monday, hope you have some nice weekend plans in the mean time

nurse now that sounds like a bloody awesome weekend to me!

Welcome pink, so very very sorry about your FET - echo everything icy and potatoes have said. Couldn’t agree more about NOT feeling the need to talk. After our miscarriage, DH and I actually barely spoke about it at all, NOT because we were repressing anything, or pretending everything was OK, but because there literally wasn’t anything TO say. There’s no manual for this stuff, just give yourselves time to ‘be’, and be kind to yourselves xx

AFM, I’m actually feeling pretty well in myself. I felt bloody awful on Weds, queasy and achey as hell and so so ready to get the blimmin eggs OUTTA me! But sooo much better now - I’m obvs still bloated, but much less uncomfortably so. So fingers crossed no sign of hyperstimulation. She says, doubtless invoking law of sod...

Have lovely weekends all!

Just popping on because I've just been in boots and the frer tests are but one get one free.... I stocked up!!

For all you serial testers out there! This is your time!!

Just been for an appointment as a follow up after the disaster cycle. Plan if we go again is a month of the pill and then scan to make sure no cysts and then long protocol again with icsi.
Still no answers as to why it happened. Became quite clear our consultant hadn't wanted to transfer the embryos but had been persuaded to by the embryologist.
She suggested we could start the pill with my next period but that feels way too soon. I'm not even sure if we want to go again.

bean feeling 😓 On your behalf. It's bloody exhausting isn't it..

Fiends, hopefully this weekend finds you all barrentastic and preferably half cut?!

bean I'm surprised your consultant was being railroaded by the embryologist, I would've thought the consultant should've pulled rank? Give yourself time, no ine can force you to crack straight back on. It's exhausting. Hopefully you can have a quiet weekend and take from there?

Haha nurse I've banned myself from ever wasting money on a piss stick again. Having spent probably £100 on them in done. But good spot.

Speaking of £££, I paid off my £2k + credit card bill in Thursday only to logo back in on fucking Friday to see it'd jumped back up to £1,200. So bitter about the NHS funding policy (I don't qualify bc OH has at least one living child). Add that to the bitter list. They've charged me £520 as part of the £1,200 bill for embryo transfer. On the basis the Magnicent 7 are all still encased in carbonite, or however the fuck they do it, I kinda want that £520 back please?! Will pay it when the time comes.

Re diet: HAAAA! Someone brought M&S tubs in on Friday. The tubs! And they were mega tubs, millionaire shortbread crispie ones (5), salted caramel flakey ones (2), childcare orange mini rolls (1) and choc brownies (2). The numbers represent how many I had of each.

Getting pissed on wine now in front of telly; OH watching madridian men kick balls, I've got my mary berry on with a chocolate beetroot cake currently cooking in oven.

Ate half a pack of Jaffa cakes today as well. Awesome.

Why would iphone autocorrect 'chocolate' to 'childcare'? It's fucking mocking me. Cunt.

Icy, that sounds like a magnificent night in. I've woken up early with a hangover. This is extra great because we're having 16 people over for lunch today.

Thanks icy. I don't think she was railroaded as such. I just think that she was more sceptical but on the basis that it wasn't going to cause physical harm and also that now we know transfer isn't technically difficult.
Anyway such is life and I feel better for deciding we are waiting a few months. Mil is here this weekend and small one is having a lovely time with her (I find it so hard as my mum not around to enjoy it) and for once the little one slept last night so I feel ok today. Planning to try a loose a bit of weight before cracking on again in the autumn.

So, bfn as expected. Feel ok as did most of my grieving at egg transfer when got news of those "disappointing" embryos. Still, that makes 4 failed cycles now. Fucks sake.

Sorry to hear that pepper. Sending glittering crap your way xx

pepper I'm sorry too. What shit bank holiday news for you? Only consolation is that you have tomorrow off work to come to terms with it get a little tiddly maybe before facing the world??
Dollops of glittery shite heading your way 💩.
Take care of you and Mr Pepper.

Pepper sorry to hear your update. Hope you have some distractions planned this weekend?

I've been looking after my 2 year old niece today. Had her for almost 6 hours... I'm exhausted! Lol. Makes me want one all the more though, she's so damn cute! Xx

Tested today. Still a big fat negative, I have sort of come to terms with it even before the let down tomorrow is going to be so have come home from a bbq at the inlaws and treated myself to a glass of red in front of Top Gear.
bean we too have decided to take a few months off the merry-go-round to restock, relax and gather momentum once more. This was 'only' round 1 so a long way to go for us yet!

Pepper and Karla - sorry both to hear it. Nothing more prosaic to add, I'm afraid. Hopefully red wine, red wine and more red wine will numb the fuck out of your brain take the edge off. Really sorry.

I'm bleeding today, so that means c 57 days until I can start FET protocol. God almighty.

Girl from school posted some link to a "back the fuck off asking about my plans to have kids" type article. I PM'd her with my full history and turns out she's pg now, same clinic as me and same consultant. So that's a positive, maybe. Unless she's taken my luck? Looking at the stats if c. 1 in 2 tries works, and hers has worked then mine..,,

Anyway. I've decided that OH and I will ironidiff this cycle. Good news eh? I also told my boss I was winning the lotto on sat so last Friday was my last day. I feel the odds are fairly similar.

Considering a bit of a hiatus from here; don't have much to add at the moment (beyond shouting CUNT and howling at the moon in solidarity). I don't know. Will see how much I'm menkulling over it all.

Here's a photo of a whippet puppy.

Thanks icy..
Here's my contribution..