The mind numbing boredom of infertility III

[icy121]

Are you Barren & Bored? You've come to the right place!

We do: swearing, empathy, bitterness, tears, sardonic laughter, glittery shit and mocking idiots who know nothing jon snow.

We don't do: baby dust, relentless positivity, "u ok hun", "I had a friend who..", pithy advice or sentimentality generally.

Previous threads 1 and 2.

Now that you've got all that down, welcome to the barren ghetto.

fourpaws just wanted to say I'm sorry- that's so unfair! Bastards!! I'm sure someone with more knowledge than me will come along soon. Yes definitely do join us on FB if you want to!!

fourpaws I'm so sorry what a shitty situation. Really not sure how they can justify telling you you are normal and not offering another option other than donor. And counting it as a full cycle, wtf?! I can understand your DHs concerns re appeal and then further treatment but you could just brazen it out. However it doesnt sound like they know how to treat your case anyway. And brilliant - blame the infertile for not injecting properly rather than looking at your own protocols
Whats their waiting list for donor like?
banana hows it all going in uncharted territory?
chocolate how was your appointment?
I will also join tiger robber and chocolate on the tired and irritable bench. I had to go to bed yesterday afternoon for a two hour nap. Woke up thinking maybe the universe can see I am not cut out for kids, I can barely manage life as it is
kiwi I have a facebook profile set up now too. what do I do to reach the inner sanctum?!

Thanks kiwi and zippy.

Zippy five years. Five whole years. they keep going on that I have a sister but Jesus Christ. I can't just expect her to do that. She's just had a baby.

I will join you on the grumpy bench. Have not even gone to work today. So unlike me. Sat in Jammies and will remain this way all day.

Operation Facebook later.

fourpaws very sorry they're being shitty and that you're having to go through the whole appeal process. As Robber says, how can she say there is nothing wrong with you but then suggest donor eggs - what a total idiot. Good for you for appealing though and hopefully something more positive will come out of a private consultation.

AFM, we had our follow up consultation - basically no tests to determine why it was such a fuck up but advice is to go again but on a short protocol and do ICSI or even IMSI (I think that's what its called?!). Going for bloods next cycle and then we'll have a better idea of when we can go again (if we can face it). This obviously means more plans are on hold and I've had to let two sets of friends know that I "may" not be able to attend their weddings as depending on when my period decides to show up, we could be around egg collection - assuming we even get that far and my lazy arse ovaries spring into action.... Consultant thinks there isn't anything wrong with DH based on his sample so I'm now convinced that my eggs are fucked and the egg factory is running on empty which is causing me to wake up in a cold panic. I went to my GP to arrange some general blood tests that my Woo Doctor has recommended (lets throw some more money at the problem) - I burst into tears when telling her about it and she told me I just need to relax - dick. Oh and I have been baby bombed again at work. I am now the only married childless female in the department so absolutely LOVING all the questions about when we're going to start trying..........fuckwits.

Wow, that was quite a rant - thank fuck its Friday so I can log off in approximately 9 hours time and go home and hide from anyone infertile for 48 hours

Sorry managed to cross posts with lots of people whilst ranting.... zippy - you deserve a nap - I would sleep through the next year if I could. Being infertile is exhausting - its like having 250 tabs open on your computer!

glittery dog shit for everyone........

fourpaws Five fucking years?!>! Presume thats after waiting years to get to this stage?
and wtf re sister comments. Private sounds like the best option all round but I'd appeal on principal! Glad you are not in work, sometimes you just have to put yourself first.

Fourpaws the treatment you have had has been absolutely shocking! I wasn't happy with my NHS care but yours is so so unfair.

I've delurked to say, if you would consider private abroad I would highly recommend reprofit in Brno in Czech Republic. I have very low AMH (produced 3 eggs), DH has poor sperm. They listened to all my opinions and they're much cheaper (and better!) than the U.K and you have constant access to your doctor by email. And if you really need to, (which I'm not sure you will actually, I think your clinic are jumping ahead of themselves) they specialise in donor eggs and embryos

zippy PM me your email address associated with FB account and I'll add you! Good on you re the nap, do it I say!

Fourpaws glad you're not at work, take care of yourself.

Chocolate fuckers, asking you that!!! I'm really struggling at work as there are so many pregnant people. We had a party last night and everyone was talking about their pregnancies or who was going to be next. No one has asked me straight out thank christ, they probably all gossip about me though.

Happy Friday everyone.

fourpaws I've got no idea about nhs funding as we were straight to private due to being geriatric but seriously, that does not sound right. I don't believe the"just relax" bollocks, but I do believe life is too short to put up with crap if you don't have to so sometimes I've cut my losses and paid for stuff just for an easy life. We're lucky we can afford to that (as long we don't want to ever go on holiday or move house, lolz). But in your case, seriously, that's a fuck up and you deserve your case to be reviewed. Is there any way you could get treatment with another nhs trust? Ours for example shares treatment with the trust next door (wasn't eligible there either). Good luck. And good on you for keeping going.

Thank you allI is still pyjama day a having. First day off sick ever. Quite enjoying it. Have done a massive walk with dogs, in pyjamas (farm nobody cares) had shower and put clean pyjamas on.

I'm ok. I think.

Here's a good aibu for you (not posting there). We have a holiday cottage next door. New guests in, three kids. They were throwing stones at my sheep. I shouted at them. The mum came and said I should have spoken to her. Probably should have but by the time I did that they could have killed one. She said, and I quote "darlings ignore the nasty lady, we didn't mean to hurt the sheep did we?, throw stones if you want to just not to hard". I have left a message for my mil to get them sorted out. She's like me in a bad mood when she's in a good mood.

fourpaws echoing what’s already been said - WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? They are absolutely taking the piss. I would definitely look into going abroad if private treatment in the UK isn’t an option - clinics like Reprofit and Serum get terrific results for women with low AMH (and have great DE programmes - which you are nowhere near!)

Glad you’re having a well deserved pyjama day

choc GP needs to get a serious fucking clue. As our bloody consultant told me, women in war zones get pregnant (and, horrible thought, but women conceive from rape). Stress doesn’t cause infertility but infertility most definitely causes stress! Never mind a drop of empathy, just a smidgen of basic clinical knowledge wouldn’t go astray. Twat. Hope you’re on the Friday and

(LOVE the analogy of having 250 tabs open. Couldn’t agree with you more)

Zippy room to join you on the tired and irritable bench? I’m just so bloody worn down with it all, I have absolutely zero energy to do anything

AFM I’m now on period watch. Neupogen wash seemed to help a bit, so we’ll deffo do it next cycle (whenever that may be). If I get a proper period in 2 weeks, then we can crack on with stims, to try and grow my lining to put back a frostie. So if we could get my lining to play ball, transfer would be sometime in Sept.

That's absolute best case. The far more likely option is that we would be looking at another hysteroscopy, probably early September.

Then 1-2 months of a copper coil + oestrogen pills / patches

If we can get me bleeding then we would then do a stims cycle.

And if we could actually then get my lining to thicken up, we'd be looking at transfer some time around Nov / Dec.

If after the coil we still can't get me to bleed, then we're into desperate measures like Tamoxifen before we can try stimming me.

Depressing to think my due date was early October.

Fourpaws glad you taking time out you deserve a break having all this extra shite to deal with must be so draining. As has already been said, the clinic sound like fuckwits and while you shouldn't have to go private, sounds like a consultation may make things clearer.
I'm 12 days into down regulation just had my period. Feel no different at all.Got scan on 11th Aug and in my usual positive manner am assuming the worst.
Wanted to ask if other women had no side effects from DR? I keep reading that it makes women feel dreadful... I feel great!
Hi to other lurkers, to the bored and pissed off, the knackered, the depleted and the hopeless. Glitter shit all round.

I'm in! Had the phone call this afternoon to confirm start dates for DR (18th) and 1 st scan - that isn't until September mind! It suddenly got real.

four cross on your behalf they are treating you so badly. You could threaten to unleash us fiends on them?

Glitter shit to all

hope you don't mind me joining in folks...been reading with interest, particularly your story fourpaws. I'm getting treatment in Scotland as well (prefer not to say where) but I've found my clinic to be fairly useless.....definitely one size fits all for everything and no suggestions for anything else to try. I've learnt more on here in a couple of months than I have in 3 years at the clinic!

Also, the rules around the one free shot on NHS are unfair. We decided to self-fund our first attempt in 2013 because clinic waiting time at that point was 18 months and I was told I had low AMH (3 at that time) so didn't want to risk waiting 18 months. So because we self-funded our first go which was successful (we have a two year old), we haven't been entitled to a free attempt at all! It seems ridiculous that your cycle got cancelled and that's your free go used up too!

Like you, I have low AMH and was put on long protocol twice. First time long protocol and mid level drugs we got 7 eggs and transferred one embryo which resulted in our daughter. Now trying for baby number two. Failed attempt in March on short protocol with highest level drugs. Just had embryo transfer this morning on third attempt (long protocol with highest dose drugs). Main issue for me now is my lining being disappointingly thin.

However, I found the long protocol has worked better for me even with low AMH. My egg quality seems to have been better bizarrely.

Sara237 - to answer your question in your last post. In all of my three attempts of IVF I have barely had a single side effect! Slight headache once, itchy skin one or two nights this time but nothing else!

Hi glummy , hi sara I also had no symptoms from DR. No headaches, tiredness. Nothing until I started progesterone and expanded like a space hopper. Fourpaws the fuckers! Throw stones back at them, you know, just not too hard.

Banana I've been having periods since my second erpc, but my cycles are now 25 days and the bleed is incredibly light. I've never had that before. Always had short cycles but 26-28 days so within normal range, and heavy-ish bleed.

I have to work so hard with the clinic but I have persuaded them I need a scan before I go into next cycle to see if there is a problem with my lining. I also want all my bloods done again (a lot can change in a year esp a year like this one). I don't see why they care seeing as I'm paying but they said no!

Any tips on what I should try/ask for re: lining appreciated. Oxford often get good reviews but I'm seriously pissed off with them and considering looking elsewhere, even though any other location is going to be a massive ball ache.

sara In my attempt at long protocol (cycle cancelled due to failure to down reg) I didn't have any symptoms. Except for being somewhat emotionally volatile. My diplomacy filter went out the window. Only got one bollocking at work, which I thought was quite good going, all things considered.

potatoes maybe worth asking for a mid cycle scan (to see if the lining is thickening up OK)? If they use the colour Doppler they can also check uterine blood flow - my consultant checks this quite a bit as any blockages might be suggestive of adhesions. Even better would be a saline ultrasound? This will give a clearer view of the uterine cavity and a better look at the appearance of the endometrium. Mine showed a patch of slightly irregular outline, so if I don't bleed properly next week, Dr is going back in with a camera to investigate further (and will surgically remove any adhesions with microscissors. Which makes me think of Lilliputian garden shears)

This week's other highlight was the British Gas boiler man telling me how lucky I was not to have children. I shot him a death stare and icily replied 'not really'

Glittery shite and greetings to all. I'm delurking, as I'm currently miscarrying my one and only BFP at 7w and want to be bitter here instead of in real life.

The only plus is I should be stopping the morning all fucking day sickness, and will finally be able to take a shit now I'm stopping the pessaries.

Hedgehog I'm so so sorry to hear that.

hedgehog I'm so sorry to hear that. Be as butter as you like here. And sad and angry and whatever else you feel.

Thanks for the tips banana. I've just seen the thin lining thread do I think I might join you there! I've persuaded my clinic to give me a scan this month. Day 21 scan except on day 18/19 as my cycles are so short. Asked to have to persuade them. Why don't they care what's going on???? I'm going get the bloods repeated too whether they like it or not.

hedgehog I'm so sorry - sadly there's many ladies on here with experience of mc, we're all here for you and thinking of you

potatoes would it be possible to get them to do it earlier? Ideally I'd have thought you want to check your lining pre ovulation, as it's the thickness and appearance on the day of trigger that counts in IVF. You want to know the thickness, as well as whether it has a triple line appearance. By day 21 the lining will have changed appearance and started compacting under the influence of progesterone - In IVF and FET it's the thickness before starting progesterone that's measured. So I would have thought day 12 or thereabouts would make more sense? Do come and join the thin lining thread - although hopefully the scan will show you don't have any thin lining to worry about!

Hedgehog I'm really sorry to hear that.

Fourpaws how are you.

Banana any sign of AF?

Some questions for Banana and anyone else who has had the tests at Serum. Did both you and your DH get tested, or do they just test you and presume your DH has got the same thing? And when you start the antibiotics (which everyone seems to need), how long were you on them and could you continue to TTC while you were on them?

Did anyone else see the headline about Jamie Oliver having a fifth child and think 'FFS. Selfish bastards. Share the luck.'

Thanks for responses thinking about it I have been rowing a lot with DH but then again he has been an arse and I have no capacity for bullshit right now.
Hedgehog - I am so sorry and there are no words really, can't imagine how you're feeling.

banana how much do you charge? I want to put you on retainer! I have written to my clinic quoting "advice from a fertility expert" (true) and asking for an explanation on why the scan is day 21 and whether day 12-14 would be better.

Robber I never got the hidden infection tests at Serum - mainly because I'm dubious of hidden C as a thing and also because I couldn't send a menstrual blood sample as I don't actually bleed on my periods so couldn't have sent them anything. After the miscarriage I did a vaginal swab test for ureaplasma and mycoplasma, and tested positive for ureaplasma (ordered this from an online STI clinic who sent me the kit in the post. Classy). Dr said it wouldn't have had anything to do with the miscarriage and only sometimes an issue in late pregnancy - but might have been the root cause of the recurrent UTIs I get. So gave both DH and I a week's course of doxycycline - I think mainly to get me off his case. I took the course during an IVF cycle so no idea how it affects TTC naturally, I'm afraid

I'm only 5dpo so AF isn't due till next weekend. Normally arrives bang on cue, I just don't actually get a period. Just black clotty gunge and brown spotting and that's it. We're hoping for a magic surprise of 2 days of red flow. Going in for a scan tomorrow so we'll see how it's looking - although it can look wonderful, but if it doesn't shed properly, means sod all

Are you doing another Menopur cycle?

Sara lashings of glitter shit to you

hedgehog thinking of you

potatoes ha! Oh dear, hope it's not absolute bollocks what I've just said about timing! Good luck and do report back about what they say