The mind numbing boredom of infertility III

[icy121]

Are you Barren & Bored? You've come to the right place!

We do: swearing, empathy, bitterness, tears, sardonic laughter, glittery shit and mocking idiots who know nothing jon snow.

We don't do: baby dust, relentless positivity, "u ok hun", "I had a friend who..", pithy advice or sentimentality generally.

Previous threads 1 and 2.

Now that you've got all that down, welcome to the barren ghetto.

Good luck for today zenzie hope it goes well!

Wizzi great news!!

Grumpel hope you're doing OK.

Pink I like the working from home to avoid people idea. I pretty much do that if I want to avoid people for whatever reason but will keep that idea for next baby bomb!

Zippy amazing news about the promotion. I agree go for it, it will give you something great to focus on.

Potatoes I also like your idea! Sounds ideal!

Meh welcome back. Sorry about your friend, I echo everyone else, I've cut ties with the people that said hurtful or unhelpful things or just didn't get it. I think you will drift from some friends because of this, but hopefully you have some friends who are great about it that you will become closer to. That seems to be happening to me.

Bit of an update from me. I've started first cycle of IUI. Don't have high hopes but the consultant said as I miscarried recently chances are better. We also had our IVF appointment, we are on waiting list and our cycle will be in January. Seems ages but we have a big trip to NZ in October so couldn't have started much before then anyway, and we get three cycles of IUI so can try to fit them in first. So for me, back to mind numbing boredom, trying to focus on nice things and just live in the moment a bit more. I have decided I need a holiday so am going away in a couple of weeks- really looking forward to it.

How's everyone else- icy are you there?

Hi to everyone else, hope you're all doing OK. Glitter shit.

Oh and I forgot to say my friend at work who was going through the same thing and was a great source of support, told me she is pregnant and has just had her 12 week scan. I'm really happy for her but it made me really emotional and sad too.

zippie I like they way you have put it about testing too early.
wizzi I like the phrase "freeze and flee", I'll be using that one. Congrats on the 9! Any news today? If not I take it you'll be going to day 5, best of luck!
How you finding the pessaries? Have you had any bloating constipation?
Kiwi 3 cycles of IUI and a trip to NZ will definitely see you through to January. Here's hoping you won't need the IVF.
That must have been a bit of a blow to hear that from someone you've been confiding in, I hope she was sensitive about it.
Hope you all have a pleasurable weekend.
So I didn't get a call today, I am assuming that means our 10 embies are doing ok and we could potentially do ET as planned this Weekend on day5! Was worried I was bloated but it seems to have gone down since I've managed to do massive poos! Those pessaries bunged me up at first. Been drinking lots and lots of water and having branflakes for lunch, seems to have do the trick!
Glad that I could end on a post regarding my shit!
Glittery kind to all

Afternoon all!

Great to see such a lot of news! Quiet congratulations Grumpel and fingers crossed for Pebbles, Zenzie and Wizzi.

Thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts on telling people, it's been really helpful as we've made our decision to do so. Meh I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I think it really is at times like this that you get to see the real person.

Stabbing continues. Strange how something you've never done before this month so quickly becomes your new normal. Would love a gin but chocolate seems to be working out OK as a substitute at the moment - I am completely on board with everyone else who is on a sugar binge!

Hope everyone who is on holiday or has one planned soon has a fabulous time! And good luck to all! xx

Hi Pebbles, so pleased your embies are doing well! That is a great haul! What day will et be?

As for me I'm currently just over 8 weeks pregnant and have had 3 scans already due to spotting. I still can't believe it. After 5 years of infertility and a miscarriage I still don't want to get my hopes up.

Just to jump in with ridiculous comments from friends, I have had to cut off my closest friends. She found out she was 12 weeks pregnant and when I told her I was going to the hospital for bleeding she firstly sent me a scan pic, asked me why don't I just put another embryo back in ( there was no confirmation of miscarriage and it's not that easy is it) Oh and then said I just need to have more sex as that's what she did and she's now pregnant. Unbelievable!

Hey fiends

On phone so apols for lack of personals - congrats to those with embryos chilling in the love lab, good luck to the stabbers, those on the bench of boredom and glitter shit all round

My lovely consultant saw me after hours on Tues to scan me, after I got in touch in a massive panic about my uterus having gone on strike. He was just as frustrated as I am, as essentially we don't really know what's going on - apparently (TMI), the two days of black clots I had was my period as my lining has gone and all we can see is an old blood clot in my womb. So no FET for me until we can force me to have a bleed. We're on plan A which is Provera, if that doesn't work then Plan B is a HyCoSy followed by an HRT cycle, then Plan C involves another hysteroscopy. 6 perfect embryos but not even off the starting block to put one back yet.

Saw the fertility counsellor at the clinic for my freebie session - highlight was her pointing out that I 'might not be able to carry and surrogacy was always an option'. Thanks!! FFS.

banana Christ alive lodge a complaint against the "therapist". Useless arsehole.

meh echo others and I'm sorry to hear about your "mate". I think it feels particularly resonant because we all pretty much have an example of a friend who doesn't / refuses to get it. I had 2 gfs who I'd kept up to date on it all since the start but for the IVF itself I cut them out. I've since told one how horrible it was, how awful the bloating was; the other I've mentioned infertility but she didn't ask where we're up to. I guess she's washed her hands of it and I don't really care anymore.

My diet has been appalling recently - so much booze and carbs. I feel rotten. Going to turn it around this weekend now, as its gross.

Still dull and nothing here. Waiting for my period (early July maybe) then we can schedule in FET next month. So Hoo-fucking-Rah 4 more weeks of stabbing and avoiding wine.

Sorry on my mobile so apols for lack of personals. Still following and lurking and looking forward to some pacey news.

Here's a thing - could barren fiends who get pregnant please still hang around and report back on what it's like on the other side? We will send you on missions - join a childbirth class thing and mention infertility generally and see what the fertile fucks really think and then report back. We can then set up a glitterbomb account (all put a fiver in yeh) and send them out in bulk. meh your shit mate is 1 on the list.

Vixx "why don't they just put another one back in?" has just shot straight to number one in the list of the most stupid things anyone has ever said about infertility ever.

Icy I'm in on the glitter bomb plan - pumping iron might be first on the list to reach the other side, and can we get grumpel and Vixx scouting out ante natal scanning?

Bananafish that sounds dreadful. Fuckwit therapist really is the pits, plus absent period. I think I love your consultant though - sounds like he genuinely cares (rather than checking his notes to remind himself of your name... yes that happened)

So here's my new (light-hearted) dilemma. I saw a new acupuncturist tonight (due to the former acupuncturist getting herself preggers instead of me) and it was fine BUT you can't drink after acupuncture. I can only see her on a Friday night. I mean - argh, is this Friday night drinks verboten for two weeks out of four for the foreseeable future???? Urgh. I'm going to have to go home and have a soft drink. Cheers!

Yes Potatoes it actually shocked me how stupid that comment was.

Can you start drinking on a Saturday afternoon instead

I am happy to be undercover on the antenatal threads!

vixx you are now promoted to a top notch secret agent! Paper bag over head, spy glasses etc. 👀🕶. You must get to work on behalf of the retched barrens 👍

Will start by sending baby dust and discussing my favourite bugaboo

Hi all, just popping into the thread to send you all glittery shit. Hope there is a flood of good news soon.

potatoes I also had acupuncture on a Friday night and always had a drink afterwards - I think it's woo bollocks that you shouldn't drink and can safely be ignored maybe this is why acupuncture always did the square root of fuck all for me

icy are you going to have to stab during your FET? I didn't and didn't avoid wine either. Just oestrogen tablets and fanny candles/bum bullets.

vixx \/

banana your therapist is a weirdo, but you already know I think that!

I am 12 weeks today. Still not processing it truly. Am at a wedding abroad and have told the group of friends I'm here with they actually guessed within 45mins as I wasn't drinking. They were all like, oh you're 12 weeks you're having a baby! I was like well what about congenital heart defects, incompetent cervix, still birth etc etc SO MUCH CAN GO WRONG. Don't think you ever get over the barrenness.

Congrats stealth banana, excellent news! I can understand your caution however.

Congrats to vixx as well, hope the bleeding stops and all goes well. Cannot believe your friend.

Thanks pebbles for the reassurance, I hope you're right.

Banana wtf?! I have a great counsellor but it is through BUPA/ employee assistance programme at my work. Thankfully she does not say shit like that!

So got to my relatives for the weekend. First thing they say is "your cousin's had a baby" ( we're not really in touch, didn't know she was pregnant). Already been shown baby pictures. Want to scream.

Hope all goes well for those awaiting ET etc!

stealth (great name for antenatal spy missions btw) they're downregging me for 2 weeks then +2 weeks of buserelin and oestrogen (tablet!!) then transfer and I presume supp/pess at some point also? I think it's the pcos thing so they're hyper vigilant to ensure I won't naturally ovulate/get pregnant (HAHAHAHAHAAAAA. Ha) 🙄

Barren & bitter today.... I'm a miserable fucker

Morning all, miserable rainy day here to match my mood. Sorry on phone so no personals.

Any fellow stabbers around? I'm starting to get sore legs. Other suggestion by hospital was tummy. Is that as bad as it sounds? Makes me feel a little squeamish but there is certainly more fat there....

Think I've only got wet soggy dog shit today but the thoughts still there

Hi all

Stealth I totally agree you'll never get over the barrenness, there will always be some worry. That's what we're here for, you can be pregnant and barren at the same time, we'll listen. Enjoy the wedding. Hope there are minimal fuckwit comments.

fourpaws I only injected into my belly and not my legs and it was fine. The first time is weird. You're like - really? I'm putting a needle in there? But it didn't hurt (same as legs i assume, gets tender after a few but not actually painful) and if you put an ice cube on first it's fine. I recommend working alternate sides and starting from the outside working in so you allow enough space for them and don't have to inject in the same place twice.

Vixx good plan! Report back when you have more intel

I'm at the hairdresser. My usual one is sick so got someone covering. She is of course pregnant and I've had a lecture on how bad her morning sickness is and how hard it is to stand up all day.

Her: do you have kids?
Me: no
Her: hah! well don't listen to me then I'll put you right off Last night my feet were so swollen...
Me: I'm just going to read my book actually

Cheers everyone!

icy ah I don't understand downregging in FET. I'm PCOS too (albeit I don't ovulate naturally), as I understand it oestrogen should suppress ov so I don't know how they decide whether to do long or short. (I believe banana will also do short FET when she gets to it although she's ovulating naturally.) Bad luck to have to keep stabbing, it's the pits - I thought I was done with it post transfer and then I had a progesterone drop so got put on Lubion. Week 8 of injects and I'm now bruising like a druggie as I think I've run out of untouched injection sites and it's all just a bit tender.

Barren & bitter is awesome. I'm 12 weeks upduffed and still feel like that. I got an email overnight saying that a friend who got married last month is due in February. So a honeymoon baby then. I rolled my eyes, thought "stupid bitch" and deleted the email. What a lovely person I am

icy if you're PCOS then there should be absolutely no reason you'd need to be down regged because there's limited chance of you developing a leading follicle? Oestrogen only for a short protocol FET blocks ovulation in 95% of cases, and if you don't ovulate properly anyway seems odd to do a long protocol FET on someone with PCOS. Even before we knew I was magically PCO again, the plan was always a short protocol FET because Dr said it was much easier going on the body. As long as the ovaries are quiet and the lining is thin, in someone with normal cycles starting oestrogen on day 2 should do the trick. If you're PCOS and don't ovulate by yourself anyway then timing doesn't have to be so exact, as lining will be thin and ovaries quiet anyway. Sorry you have to go through all the stabbing again.

If we ever get to a FET I'll be on double stabbing with Lubion (progesterone) and Clexane (blood thinner) so sadly not a stab free cycle. But no buserelin in the mix - small mercies?!

Thanks all re fertility counsellor. I shan't be going back. I do actually see a counsellor who I started going to for bereavement counselling after I lost my mum, and as infertility and miscarriage is just a different form of grief, that's been incredibly helpful. God that sounds so bloody Oprah to say 'my therapist'!!!

Hello the barren boreds. Yep, I can also confirm that the bitterness persists here too. Still hate all instadiffas. Still shunning smug preggo friends. Etc. Happy to infiltrate the fertiles as an undercover agent should I get that far.

I've recently moved and been invited to the street whatsapp group. A
nice friendly, inclusive thought, yes, and REALLY hoping meet ups are mostly booze and gossip-based and not smug competitive parenting, but the title 'Street Name Mums' has immediately put me off. As has the invite to a coffee morning, inevitably on a weekday at 10am. Yeah, I'll be at work actually. Not swanning around at home with my perfect toddlers. Sigh.

Fourpaws I am Clexane-stabbing at the mo into my stomach and it's not especially lovely but also not too horrendous. I second the ice cube idea. Just be careful not to stab around waistband-area as that's not nice the next day when your jeans rub against it.

Banana sorry to hear about the insensitive therapist. Seriously, wtf! Do you think she even heard herself? Glad you have someone better to talk to. Fingers crossed for you over the next few weeks, am thinking of you and hope it's time for some good news really soon.

Potatoes urgh. My hairdresser is very sweet but asks if I'm going to start trying for a baby soon every single time I see her, as we got married three years ago, you know. I mean, how massively nosy! Does she genuinely expect me to give her the ins and outs of my sex life? Luckily they offer you wine there as well as tea.

Well done to all ECers pebbles, zenzie, wizzi, the number of embies powering up in the lab for you all sounds brilliant. Hope the ETs next week go smoothly.

GS to all barrens out there.

I just got a text from a well meaning friend telling me all about this 'amazing lube that creates the perfect environment for sperm. Her friend used it once after 3 years of infertility and conceived immediately'
She really did mean to help though so I was very nice in my reply! Xx

Ok, shall try tummy tomorrow then. (Scared).

God sammy my mil is doing this just now. "My best friends daughters next door neighbour had this problem and you should try eating pineapple whilst upside down and doing some excercise." I've not killed her yet but my responses are becoming more like I might.

Lol - four pours! It's just ridiculous isn't it?
I don't tell my mil anything now, not since she decided to share our infertility with most of dhs extended family going to take a long time for me to forgive her for that, if ever

I only ever stabbed in my tummy last time, it was fine, no ice required even. A couple were a bit stingy as I pushed the plunger, but no real problem. I can't even imagine stabbing my legs... That seems like it would hurt more as no fat layer?? Xx

*paws not pours

Hi, been reading these threads and feel like you all know how I feel. About to start ivf after what feels like forever. Don't even think I like my DH at the moment as he seems completely disinterested and wants us to book a holiday in august when our first appointment is next week... Prick. Like lots of you I have had some classic comments from family and friend from wife of father "you can always adopt" to colleague last week summising "so you obviouslh never wanted children". Other 'friend' informed me that babies are angels and wait to choose their mother ... What a comfort ... So all in all I am similarly bored with it all, bored with myself, unsure of what I even want and generally feeling sorry for myself. Rant over. Thanks for sharing🌱

Welcome sara
"Babies are angels that choose their mother"
That's straight in the hall of fame!
People are FUCKWITS

If one more person asks "have you tried..." I won't be responsible for my actions. Yes I fucking have. Have you tried shutting up?

GS fiends x