Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support V

[kokeshi]

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

KOKESHI I don't want to be pushy but where are you?

Hi everyone !! I' having trouble with drinking, I drink half bottle to 1 bottle every night because it helps relieving the stress...I need some help

Purpleone hope you had a good weekend and for me no booze ever does sound too extreme. Hope you had a good weekend - 7 nights in to my no boozing and feeling good and happy which is something I havent felt for a while now its amazing just how good I feel - I was going to GP to get anti depressants but think I will hold off that though now - I know I still have alot of problems ie. confidence/self esteem issues but giving up that bottle of wine a night has done wonders for my well being so far so would thoroghly recommend it

Drinkingwaytoomuch - you have come to right place - I dont log on in evenings etc as no computer at home just at work - I too on and off for a while now have been downing a bottle of wine a night - I am currently reading Alan Carr's book which has helped but you must first of all want to stop - what is stressing you what are you trying to blot out?

Sorry to butt into a thread but i could realy do with help from recovering/problem drinkers. I love DP v much and want to support him/help him cut down or give up alcohol. I am taking the 'I love you but hate to see you doing this to yourself approach' Can anyone advise me if this method works or if i am really going to just have to wait until he wants to tackle this himself. I have got a copy of Alan Carrs book coming, but don't know how to give it to him without upsetting the apple cart!! Thanks peeps

I expect, quietlife, that sadly you will have to leave your dp to sort out his relationship with booze on his own. It's a very private thing for some people (sorry if I'm speaking out of line). I found myself very 'locked in' to my relationship with food - which is thankfully no longer an issue. I don't feel the same way about booze, but I still drink too much and all my good intentions go to hell. I find it fine to have a couple of nights a week without a drink, but harder to have 3 nights with nothing alcoholic, then I drink a bottle of wine, and the next night a bottle, then I cut down a bit, then stop again... It's all over the place and I'm not sure I feel so in control now I see a pattern emerging.

Thanks BlaDeBla, so you don't think the book is a good idea then? He drinks 5 (ish i think) pints of stong lager a night. More at the weekends. We seem to be on a slippery slope, that if i pop out, he is sneaking some more when he thinks i don't know, but of course i can tell. Its so destructive, i just want to help him so much......

You could try discussing it with him in a non judgemental or non confrontational way (talk about cutting back rather than stopping altogether) and let him know you would be supportive if he sought help. It might make him defensive as it's very hard to admit that you have a problem. Does he think he drinks too much or has he ever talked about cutting back? Acknowledging secretive drinking may make him redouble his efforts to cover it up from you. Your Doctor or health visitor may be able to link you up to a support group.

hi to everyone

just bookmarking this quickly so it'll be in threads I'm on, but I'll be back tomorrow to catch up.

Like teasle, although I'm not drinking at the moment, I think I'll always have a problem with alcohol and it's good to know that the thread is still going. I suppose the thing is to keep it active so that more posters see it and might feel they can be helped by it.

I think kokeshi has been a bit snowed under with work recently. She mentioned something of the sort on the FB thread last time she was on.

Take Care

daisy xx

Thanks jellibabe, he will talk about it sometimes but most of the time he gets very defensive. I am very much aware of trying not to facilitate. i.e i let him sleep it off and if that means he misses the kids going to bed then so be it. Then he has to deal with the consequences..... this is tough on the kids too tho.

HI quietlife.

There's an organisation called Al-Anon- its for the partners and family members of alcoholics. It may be worth getting in touch with them, as it can help you decide what you want to do, I'd give them a ring.
Also, there is a thread for the partners of addicts, which will be worth a look.
I know some of them have found al-anon helpful. Sorry, have never done a link, but it should be easy enough to find.

I wish you all the best- only you can decide what you want to do, and what is best for yourself and your children. I lost my sister to alcoholism- the effect her drinking had upon herself and her family was pretty devastating.

Hi all been having a few sleepless nights lately. Have allowed myself to get sucked back into having a drink at the weekend if I don't have the kids. Fortunately this has not yet escalated into during the week. Know I need to stop this before it does.

Hoping to join the gym and use exercise as a way off releasing pent up emotion and stress. Have also ordered inline skates for an immediate diversion if overdosing in anxiety.

If I aim high for abstinence then it's easier to prevent the decline. May check in on Sat while I try to get back on the straight and narrow.

Hi everyone I have been wine free for 10 days now feeling very good about I must say. I am still so amazed at how it has improved my mood - I thought I would still be depressed about my life and everything that I was drinking because of but in actual fact I am just so happy to be getting up in the morning with a clear head and no shouting at the kids so much even my anxiety over DP and his moods has decreased - sorry if I sound like some sort of advert but I wanted to post something postive for once rather than all the negative stuff that I have posted in teh past. I was actually thinking about maybe weekend drinking but like you Jellibabe dont know where that would end up would I spiral again into the black hole of a bottle a night and hiding the bottles and trying to pretend to everyone at work taht I didnt get enough sleep because my kids woke me up or I was worried about something rather than waking up at midnight because I was drunk again and couldnt get back to sleep. I know that I will drink again but would love to get back to a more controlled way of doing so - yeah I know all of you out there that are thinking been there got the t-shirt once out of control always out of control - maybe !! Who knows - anyway good luck anyone out there struggling with their alcohol intake - have a good day

Hello everyone - seems a bit quiet on here - what a difference a weekend makes - well fell off the wagon on Saturday and drank a whole bottle of wine and a cocktail!!! Felt like crap on Sunday and was horrible to my dcs on Saturday and Sunday - I really am a horrible person when I have been drinking I have decided - did not succumb on Sunday and am going to try to avoid alcohol at all costs for a while at least - had a major meltdown with my kids this morning too and am feeling really bad about it - thought I was back in control of my angry outbursts obviously not - cried all the way to work - on the bus !! People must have thought I was nuts - which perhaps I am - thinking about anti depressants again - feeling very down today!!

How is everyone out there doing - well or not so well - purple/teasle how you getting on?

I'd like to stop drinking for more than 3 days! At the moment it just feels so nice having wine in the evening in front of the fire. I think I'm going a bit blind because I can't read very easily and had big problems threading a needle. It doesn't make much difference if I've had a few glasses of wine to drink.

I used to find I became depressed for a few days after drinking too much. If you stave off the booze for a bit you may be clearer about whether or not you are getting depressed, unhappy. I'm on anti ds and thinking about coming off them. The doc says it would be worth doing that when my life is a bit more stable [ahem]. I hope everyone's ok.

Hey there bladebla - yes 3 days is usually what I aim for. I had done 14 nights!! Thanks for your post though I was wondering if the way I am feeling is simply because of my one night's drinking bringing me back down - I felt so different last week - hence my Mary Poppins post on Friday !!! Hope you get past your 3 days soon - good luck

sorry that would be 11 nights I had done not 14 !!!

11 days is still brill though, unhappy. be proud of yourself! Thats an achievment, well done!

Bla, alcohol and depression go hand in hand. I stopped my anti d's ages ago after the alcohol was conflicting with them. Never bothered going back on them until I got the drink sorted out.

We're doing okay here. Fighting off the flu from hell. Been sleeping loads and muscles aching. Have been sober about 4 days now.
Kids had it but theyre back to school now.Just dosed up to the eyeballs.

And the bloody cat's in heat too.
Kids at school, me snuffling and coughing and the cat wailing and howling...

Hope everyone is well x x Blessings.

glad to hear you OK Purple - our house is cold ridden - kids dosed up to the eyeballs and sent in as usual - bad mum that I am !!:0

Feeling better already after only 2 days of no wine again - am hoping to stay off for a while now.

But you sound like you are doing well - hear what you are saying about anti depressants and booze - not much point I suppose if you carry on boozing.

Hope you all better soon x

I find anti ds lessen any hangover, AND stop me being gloomy. I would like to not drink during the week. I think it's all the excitement of having a comfy bed at last! I'm still in awe!

Had a thought last night after shouting at my lovely children - I thought that my bad temper/grumpiness bad motherness (ha ha) was all down to the fact that I drank too much - but now I discover in fact I am still shouting at them still saying horrible stuff so cant blame it all on the vino - anybody else had such an eye opening revelation??? !! Dont get me wrong I am better but still not the best mum in the world

Isn't it great to be able to look at things in an objective way unclouded by the guilt of drinking?

Having a hellish week at work but haven't felt like drinking. The weekends are going to need a little more work. Have the kids for most of the weekend this week so it's looking promising.

BlaDeBla I found anti D's help to reduce my craving for drink. Drink's a quick fix when your feeling depressed but it's not worth the low and guilt when sobering up.

Hiy Jellibabe - sorry to hear you had a bad week but really glad to hear that you have not wanted to drink because of it that is something really special and you are right it is nice to see things clearer and did not realise just how bad it was making me feel I mean I knew that I was more anxious more down etc following a night on the wine but the contrast I am feeling now is absoslutely stunning even in the past when I have given up I didnt seem to get this amount of clarity - I am nearly at the end of Alan Carr's book (for the second time round) and even though he wants you to never want to drink again I must admit that I do still want to be able to have the odd glass when I feel like it but is that really possible - what do you guys thinks?

There was a period when I was on anti d's and drinking and cant say they ever stopped me wanting to drink and I dont suffer from the traditional hangover but just feel a little rough and bloated - perhaps that is a hangover !!

How are you all doing out there? I am looking forward to the weekend instead of dreading it like i was beginning to - even my problems with DP dont seem to important - its good to feel this happy and I havent even needed to see the GP to get this way.

Will check in later on but if I dont have good weekends and hope we all manage to stay away from or at least control our intake

Has anyone taken or known anyone who has taken Chlordiazepoxide hydrochloride.A friend needs help and is worried about taking it.

p123 - never heard of that med, but its supposed to reduce anxiety in alcoholism. Am a bit at the side effects.
Sorry I can't help you but hope your friend is well.

Hope everyone else is well. This thread is too quiet these days.

yes it certainly is quiet these days isnt it - I have had a few days back on the wine -its so weird how you think you have it sussed you are feeling really good about not drinking then all of sudden you are back there again - no real reason for it except Friday night just really fancied a glass which became 3 - Saturday thought what the hell go for it - full bottle and then the same last night - hoping to stop again - cant work out why when you feel so good that you make yourself feel bad again - I finished the Alan Carr boook again on the bus Friday afternoon and thought OK that it then but then I drink - go figure !!! Was a bitch this morning to my kids as I felt so crap - oh dear !!!!!!!!!!!!!!