Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support V

[kokeshi]

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

I don't think wine actually makes ANYTHING easier! I find that I am ok after a couple of glasses of wine, and I am still just about functioning so I can stop and do something else, or after a couple of glasses of wine, I am well primed for more and there is nothing to do anyway.

It takes a while to drink, and a good whack of time to sober up, and a chunk of the morning afterwards to feel ok about being there.... So, time to get busy and do things that we wouldn't otherwise do....

teasle - I've never drunk normally. I went from nothing to drinking every day almost immediately aged 18. I've been trying to cut down since the first day I started drinking. I went to university. had a drink my first day there. By the end of the month I was drinking every day. By two months in I was trying to stop and have been ever since.

Hello boyracer and everybody else.

Boyracer wondered what tactics you had used to reduce or cut down your alcohol intake?

Can I have a Mexican Wave please I've just completed my first ever alcohol free holiday . We had a great time despite the rain (those last minute wellies I bought were a blessing). Even made it up early every morning for the kids activities.

I just drank coffee or diet coke. I didn't miss alcohol dspite being surrounded by pints of beer and glasses of wine (don't know if that was due to last weekend - it gave me a fresh appreciation of exactly what alcohol does for me).

Nice to see people posting again. xx

Glad to hear you had a nice time jelli. And alcohol free too!

Have a big purplish wave from me!

Big hello to boyracer, and welcome. Have you ever tried reduction? What outcome would you like from cutting down? Just social drinking - or abstinence?

Very brave of you to come here and admit your problem. Please keep posting, your in the right place now x x

What have you tried before Boyracer, in terms of approaching tackling your drink problem?

Have you tried to access services, such as going to the GP etc?, or is it something you've just been keeping to yourself until now?

Glad you had a good time Jelli, its brilliant.
How is everyone else?

Hi teasle,
How are you doing?

Am not doing so bad. Feels unusual to be drinking 3% beer now and not getting the 'light'headedness. Still feeling dog tired in the morning though. A bit more productive I've noticed though. A few scary feelings, couple of headfucks...but I still haven't been on that bender.

I don't want to jeapordise my reduction - have come this far. Too far to turn back now.
Really hard explaining it to DD1 though, as she expected me to cut it right out, and still bawls at me for drinking. She hasn't done it the past few days though - there's a boy keeping her occupied LOL

x x

Hi Purple, I'm fine thanks. Just plodding along, you know.

You're doing SO well in sticking to your reduction plan. The scary feelings pass don't they?

hello everyone - thank you for making me feel welcome. It sounds like you are making progress jelli and purple. Thats inspiring!

I've never done anything concrete to try and cut down - I just stop for a day, maybe two, sometimes a little longer but then I just give in and go back to chucking back 10 units a night in whatever guise night after night for months on end. I was sober during my pregnancies but spent every day not waiting for the baby but waiting for a drink.

Does cutting down work? Realistically and long term for anyone? I've known I had a problem for so long and have spent all this time thinking 'I'm going to have to stop forever soon'. The idea of still being able to get it under control rather than give up completely obviously appeals but sheesh I can't go a night wihtout without spending the evening pacing. How I'll get to the point of a single glass with a meal I cannot imagine. Bizarrely I found I could avoid drink quite easily before the children came along by going to the pub - I would drive DP and we'd still have a nice time. Now that would require a babysitter.

how do you cut down effectively then? I suppose I could begin the evening while sober by chucking the first glass of wine down the drain. No turning back then.

Well done PurpleOne! I haven't had a drink for a couple of days, and I feel like complete crap. I've found that I really can't see very well and looking at the paper without my glasses is the same as caning a bottle of wine. Anyway, it doesn't take anything to feel like rubbish, so what's the point in adding alcohol to the cocktail?

Your drinking sounds like my smoking, boyracer. I immediately smoked for Britain. I don't buy fags any more and smoke occasionally if I can cadge a fag.

HI Boyracer, I guess only YOU know if you can cut down or not, and stay that way.
I kidded myself that I could, but at some point I had to acknowledge that actually, it never worked, I always went back to daily drinking.

I also realised that I couldn't do it by myself.

HI bladebla

Sorry, I've just re-read that and it seems really unhelpful.
Only YOU can decide what you want to do.

However, I would say that if you want to make changes, you have to put the effort in, but it IS worth it.

If you want to give it a go one evening, try really plannig the evening. Think about your trigger times, plan on how you will cope with them. Keep busy. Be aware you may have withdrawal symptoms.

It DOES get easier, but it can be very hard in the beginning, especially if you're habitually dependant.

Its always worthwhile seeking medical advice too.
Sometimes people who drink heavily can have quite dangerous withdrawals- sorry, I don't want to sound patronising, I'm sure you're already aware of this, but thats why some people have a reduction plan put in place, as stopping suddenly can be dangerous, which is why its important to seek medical guidance etc.
I would say get all the rl support you can.

Just keep on posting too, it can be a really helpful tool writing things down, to help you yourself explore your feelings and thoughts.

Anyone about tonight?

Hi Boyracer could you try starting your drinking half an hour or an hour later in the evening and then gradually roll it back? If you persist you may find you adjust to a new routine. Purchase lower alcohol wines and aim for having a day off every second day. Drinking more than one day in a row was what triggered binge drinking for me.

What ever happens keep talking - it helps you to work through your thoughts and keeps a record of your progress.

thank you everyone. I think I'll try and get to 8 o clock tonight. that would make a big difference.

just realised it's over a week since I posted.

Welcome to boyracer and a quick wave hello to everyone else.

br..you sound very much like me when my drinking was at its worst. Also my DH and I used to drink a lot together, then he decided to quit or cut back lots, and i just couldn;t. then he went away for work and my drinking just got out of hand after that. I was starting to address my problems and was just making progress when I found out I was pregnant again. so, apart from the odd glass of wine or beer I've been fine, but am also conscious of slipping right back into it after the baby is born. thankfully I am getting very good support for issues with PND/AND and my psych is aware of the problem...finally came out with it after seeing hime for nealry a year . He is happy refer me to the council scheme after the baby is born if I feel the need. It's good to know the aupport is there though; makes the whiole thing feel less scary.

Fantastic achievement on your hols jellibabe.....long may sobriety reign.

right, am bloody shattered so need to have an early night. I've been burning the candle at both ends recently, and seem to get a second wind after the kids are in bed, but now DH is home for the weekend I am off duty and the tiredness has caught up with me.

hope everyone else is doing ok. thinking of you BlaDeBla

Just popping in to say hello.
Tested the waters and got a few more beers in, not feeling so good right now...and I felt like this every night for 2 years?

Not so much pissed as didn't buy enough, but just feeling dog tired and hungry and really vomity

My tolerance is lowered. Which I am pleased about.
Back to the 3% tomorrow. Feel like shit.

Hope everyone else is well?

Hey PO, sorry you are feeling like shit, but it's a good thing in a way, right? I hope it is only physical and not emotionally. Keep strong lovely; you are doing a great job.

not caught up on fb for ages, but I've been lurking and reading and am behind you all.

dinny was on another thread the other day and we exchanged a few words, so she is around out there

Well done BM...10 weeks and counting blardy brilliant

Jo, sounds like things are a bit hectic for you at the minute. Long may it last, eh?

Morning all - gosh it makes such a difference to my life being able to keep in touch with you all. When I'm struggling to keep on top of life's demands friendships are one of the first casualties.

Purple I have a new respect for hangovers too. To think I use to hate them .

I have the kids at the weekends over the summer so better go. Eldest had a friend to stay last night so I better go and wake them.

Here's to another day kicking alcohol's ass .

Hi folks, welcome to the new guys, keep posting. Sorry I've been absent for a while, RL getting in the way.

I was sent this email this morning and whilst I usually don't pass them on, I had a wry smile at this one. Not serious of course, but sometimes it's good to laugh at our predicament.

How to achieve an inner calm!!!

THIS REALLY WORKS HONEST!!!!

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.

Some doctor on the telly this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.

So I looked around my house to see the things I'd started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Bwandy, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a bo! x a chocolets.

Yu haf no idr who fkin gud I fel. Pelase sen dis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov inr pece.

How is everyone doing?

God, that sounds like me. But without the valium. Have had a really crap week.

HI 2sugars, I've had a really difficult week too.

Hey Kokeshi- good to see you posting again! the thread has its quiet times doesn't it?

Bump.

LOL at the inner calm kokeshi it's good to see you posting.

How's everyone doing?

Things here are fine, although am dreading Friday. Have been invited to a bbq, and I know for a fact...the balmy summers evenings and lashings of beer on offer.

That's gonna be difficult!

Hello Purple

I am having a really bad night albeit sober. The kids are playing me up terribly. Eldest is the ring leader and the youngest follows suit. Very tired as in midst of difficult week at work but too angry to go to bed.

Eldest is having a strop in the bathroom as she does not want to go to bed. Lack of sleep means she will be equally hellish in the morning when I am struggling to get to work

Hello Purple

I am having a really bad night albeit sober. The kids are playing me up terribly. Eldest is the ring leader and the youngest follows suit. Very tired as in midst of difficult week at work but too angry to go to bed.

Eldest is having a strop in the bathroom as she does not want to go to bed. Lack of sleep means she will be equally hellish in the morning when I am struggling to get to work

Say's it all....

Gosh even the thread is on vacation. Hope your having a happy and funtime whatever your up to . xx