TAMOXIFEN ****20****

[KurriKurri]

Hello ladies, - just taking the plastic wrapper off a brand new thread

Glad acupuncturist helped- I think they are miracle workers . I know what they did for me and saw how it put my mum back together after her cancer treatment.

Will join you sitting on the paranoia box and have a big marker saying "do not open".

Have also got coffee cakes (inspired by Mas) and tea fruit loaf (no sugar) for the more virtuous.

Am airing my scar today which is an excuse to lie on sofa and wear a onesie .

Good weather for scar airing, Gig. I'll have some tea loaf - not being virtuous just don't like coffee cake, which is weird as I love both coffee and cake.

Acupuncture's interesting, isn't it? I started going when I had my back problems, so that was mechanical mostly. It's different now it's more emotionally based. Interestingly the pain I had in my shoulder has moved down to the front and is going down my arm since seeing her. Most curious..

Its hidden under trousers as not sure my friend who is over on a playdate is ready for it

Was talking to my dad about acupuncture (he is a Gp). Said they have done studies that shows does release endorphins that help pain and well being . Have got weekly appt for forseeable future. I like my acupuncturist lady as has experience with cancer patients too and some great ideas on well being .

That is most interesting about acupuncture. I have always fancied it but never done it. maybe I should.

I have had Reiki, which is a bit more off-beam: only had it once but it was very weird. It was when I had broken my elbow and they guy waved his hands about as they do, then said he was sorry to have hurt me. He hadn't - but it sure hurt like hell for several hours afterwards. Most odd.

Loving box for Paranoia. Can I put mine in too?

Convinced myself I had a chest infection this morning. Phoned unit and they said that since temperature was not raised that it was probably a virus, but to check chest with GP if worried. Did so, and turned out to be paranoid-itis after all.

Ended up weeping crying a little bit with the GP and let out all sorts of stuff I didn't realise was bothering me, about being really scared about the next chemo because i felt so rotten last week, and maybe I'm not coping as well as I thought. GP wanted to give me some pills to help me sleep, becasue she thinks being tired is making everything else worse, but I'm not sure. . . She says I can go back tomorrow and get chest checked again, and possibly have some antibiotics in case it gets worse over the weekend.

I think because so many people have said how well I'm doing and how strong and brave I am, I just sort of thought that I was. Not feeling so brave and strong today. . .

Sorry, feeling rather self indulgent, but don't feel that I HAVE to be strong and brave with all of you and I needed to off load a bit. I know others are feeling low too. Big hugs To everyone x x

Oh, and my mother decided to tell me when she came down that my dads cousin has bc, another cousin has secondary lung cancer with unknown primaries, and my cousin's 8 week old beautiful baby has been diagnosed with cystic fibrosis.

Fuck me Ned - who is your mum? The good news bear? No you don't have to be brave here xxxx

No, I'm glad she told me. She's known for a couple of weeks and was waiting til I was feeling better from chemo to tell me.

I think sleep depravation is a killer - I can certainly link my moods to it so that will help. You have also got a load of heavy duty meds coursing through your system on top of adrenaline so no wonder you re down.

I know your mum meant well but you need to protect yourself . At the minute you are only able to cope with so much and this type of news is Ott. I felt like that re my friends twins (and candles must be workin as they seem loads better and prognosis more positive) and when my sis told
Me about her mc. It doesn't make you weak or uncaring not to be able to process this - it is human and necessary not to be bothered by it . It is the equivalent of not having too many visitors after you give birth.

So Ned come and have some (pombears) and and a big hand hold. I would invited you to sit on sofa and veg with me but sight of me in a onesie and smell from dd2 poonami nappy not enticing

Well glad you can vent here Ned.

I just wanted to thank all you lovely ladies for your kind words on the previous thread when I posted about my Mum. She had her operation for breast cancer two days after her diagnosis and they found 2 different types of cancer at Stage 2. However at her follow up meeting they said she doesn't need to have Chemo as it isn't in her lymph nodes only radiotherapy. I think this is positive isn't it (trying hard to think it must be)??

It is positive - all the best for your lovely mum

There are some corking Jeremy Kyle type threads at the moment if anyone needs distraction

It is good news puffin I am sure.

Gig - I watched JK for the first time ever today, as was feeling too dizzy to get up and turn tv over (ds hidden remote again I swear!) OMG...says it all really. I could actually feel my brain going mushy...and yet oddly transfixed.

I have attached a huge padlock to the paranoia box, and put some comfy cushions on top, so we can sit in comfort whilst refusing to let paranoia out again.

Ned I am so sorry you have had more bad news, gig is right though there is a limit to how much you can process and worry about. It doesn't mean you don't care, it just means you are allowed to prioritise yourself and your dh and dc.

I have a friend who is a vet (the one who I askesd to check my scar and stitches for me...so v good friend!) . She is a qualified acupuncturist for animals, and says it clearly works for pain relief, she particularly uses it in animals with arthritis. It can't just be psyco-symatic if it works in animals. She did it to dh once and he instantly fell asleep whilst sitting up at the table....and I mean instantly...it was totally weird and very impressive the control she had over my dh.

I wish I has a vet friend- I draw the line at getting my dad or bil to check

I haven't brought myself to watch jk lately but was a big part of ml with dd1. Am still in shock from viewing loose women for first time.

hello all- cake soon,after Chinese take away- all that on top of lunch out -took dh to nice bistro in town (pictures of my lunch on fb)- felt very wicked to be sharing a bottle of wine at lunch time on a weekday.Had to pick up my little charge from school and walk her home,so that was good for wearing the effects off- but it was so warm out - lovely !
Am so sorry about all the horrible news ned - a hug for you.
I have had acupuncture for a very odd thing with my foot- A&e said it wasn't broken but maybe some bones were misplaced (?) Anyway it was very swollen and it was a few weeks before our wedding. I had my last piercing the afternoon before the wedding and thankfully it was a whole lot better- acupuncturist used to leave me lying on the bed with mystic music playing.

puffin I reckon that is pretty good news about your mum - radiotherapy will make sure everything is mopped up.

Evening all, good news here. Onc surgeon had a good rummage. Says he got good margins with op and he won't need to see me for 3 months when he will biopsy the area I was querying. So....drum roll...back to work Monday! Thanks for all amazing support on here guys. I'm hitting the vino tonight! All the best to everyone especially those with the blasted paranoia, scumbag that it is!

Oh ned what an emotional day. It's so hard when everything seems to happen at once.

Happy Birthday Mrmas. Mmmmm cake. :)

Think I may watch 'Make Bradford British' tonight. I thought we were British up here! I walked through the new City Park at lunchtime and I have to admit it is stunning. Pity we don't have many shops left!

The funeral was lovely yesterday, thanks for all your thoughts. I did find it hard to talk to one of my uncles, he looks so much like his little brother who died years ago. He is loosing his memory which is sad. I also remembered his first wife died from bc about 40 years ago and his son died from a brain tumour too. Sorry to be so miserable. Work was ok today, but I keep doubting my ability and tired + emo + lots of coffee = not good. Didn't manage to tell my boss how I was feeling, he knows I'm bipolar but sometimes its difficult to have conversations in open plan offices...

I have a friend with cf who is about 43, and fairly well. Treatment has advanced massively.

yay re good news Holsten. And biopsy hopefully clarify things but sounds like surgeon confident.

Mas- Sounds like a nice day.

xpost.

Brilliant news holsten :) hic!

misplaced sounds like you lost a bone!

for Holstein. You so deserve that wine. Don't leave us though will you?? You're one of us now.

Puffin, I'd say that's really good news. Feel free to come back with any and all questions about radiotherapy. A lot of us have been through it.

Ned You're very much allowed to vent on here and cry, mope and wobble too. Chemo's hard and you're bound to dip after the first as it seems like there's a heck of a long way to go. Thing is you're on the road now and though it doesn't seem like it now it will be over by summer. Sorry about the news on your other relatives too. Really doesn't help, does it? Why not try some antidepressants? They might help you sleep.

MAS, your lunch sounds lovely. Hope your DH appreciates you. Did you buy him anything?? I always find my DH impossible.

Jane funerals are hard like that. You deserve treats and the sofa after an emotional day like that - I know it was yesterday, but still.. [sile]

Back from taking DS and his mate swimming. My shoulder hurts more than ever. As Paranoia's safely under lock and key at Sparkles, I'm seeing it as healing pains..

Hooray for Holsten! Can't believe you're really going to be back at work on Monday, wow!

Happy Birthday Mr Mas! Sounds like you both have had a lovely day Coffee & walnut mmmm. Favourite of many except Smee I remember.

Topsy - hope you are feeling a little brighter today, and that BCGs not too traumatic x

Lovely sunshine here has made all the difference to me and my energy levels. Forced myself outside to clean some garden furniture in the sun.