TAMOXIFEN ****20****

[KurriKurri]

Hello ladies, - just taking the plastic wrapper off a brand new thread

Sorry topsy, posted my message before I'd finished (can you tell I don't know what I'm doing?)

Meant to add that I'm sorry about your ongoing tests - sounds like you've been through a lot over the last year.

I'm taking some comfort from the fact that you all seem to cope so well and still manage to get on with everyday life despite difficult circumstances. I'm sure I'll feel a bit better once everything sinks in and I've got a definite plan of action.

grrr angryfeet that is very frustrating for you

plan of action will definitely make things feel better, promise.

1in8 - thanks for info re leaflet, will go and take a look, my ds is 8 so as you rightly say old enough to know when things aren't right. I'm veering towards the mastectomy as I'm a worry wart and need to feel confident that it can be dealt with during a single op. Good to hear that someone else took that option so thank you for sharing your experience.

Lime jelly - I think the MRI will only set things back by a week or so but from what consultant said I think he suspects the affected area is larger than has been seen on ultrasound as apparently this type of bc is quite soft and doesn't show up too well. He agrees that the area that is palpable is larger than shown on tests.

Mas - eldest is 8, nearly 9 so will look at the leaflet 1in8 mentioned and then pick the right time to talk to him.

Thanks to all for your replies - it's appreciated. Apologies if I've missed responding to anyone as it takes me ages to type these posts!

1st step sorry you are here but welcome .

I was diagnosed in jan this year with soft tissue sarcoma- had the op to remove it and starting radiotherapy to zap the area in 3 weeks (it was on my bum which is good/bad depending on way you look at it). Bit like topsy they are still checking my lungs as were small spots which don't know what are (but may well be pregnancy related - I was dx 10 days after dd2 was born).

I also have a three year old. Have stuck to facts of poorly bit needs removal and drs need to treat it to stop coming back. She had seen scar and understands it needs to get better but will take a while ( i likened it to ones she gets when she falls over but takes longer as bigger)

I really wouldn't have believed life would go on as I was terrified and in shock when dx but all those on here who said waiting for treatment and initial part is worst were right.

I have my appt next week for pre rad (to do cast and prelim scan). Dh wants to
Ask if we can keep the cast . Radiotherapist sounded lovely though.

Hi all! Blimeys, can't keep up with everything fast enough so shall wave and leave out all round.

Ist Step, welcome from me too :-) If it's any consolation, an average woman with lobular cancer will have a 9 in 10 chance of a good outcome these days. Everyone's different so that's no guarantee as to who gets to be the lucky ones, but the odds are good. Hope we can all be here for you.

Hello 1step, sorry you're here, but I'm glad you found us.

I've had two mastectomies - first in 2010 through cancer, the other elective last October. Feel free to ask anything if it helps.

On kids, my son was 5 when I was diagnosed. We decided to tell the truth, but to big up the positive. So we emphasised I'd been lucky in a way as now they'd found the cells they can get rid of them. Basically we told him that the cancer cells could make me v.ill if left, so rather boringly I'd have an op and also (in my case) take some drugs to make sure they'd gone, but then I'd be okay. Another thing which seemed to help was to stress how normal/ common Breast Cancer is. Even at 5, the stat that 1 in 8 women will get Breast Cancer at some point reassured him - he was genuinely fine.

Got to run, but will be back to catch up later. Just wanted to post to 1step.

Gig - I know getting a diagnosis at any time is shocking but so soon after having a baby must have been awful for you. Good luck with the rads, must confess to laughing out loud at the thought of your dh keeping your cast, hope he's not planning on displaying it on the mantelpiece for all to see! Like the way you explained things to your little one, will say something similar myself.

Amber - thanks for stats. Consultant did say it was highly treatable so here's hoping everything will turn out ok.

Don't seem able to use the little icons because I haven't got square brackets on this keyboard, but leaving a nice cup of tea and some choccie biscuits out for all those who could do with cheering up.

Hello just popped in here to procrastinate have a bit of a break from work.

Sorry about your news 1step. I would agree with what eveyone has said about having a plan and getting on with the treatment - it really does get to feel much better. I've had two unrelated cancers quite recently (not BC) and both times I was a complete gibbering wreck at dx but things have improved a lot since then.

I don't know about telling young children the news as both of mine are quite a lot older. I was dreading telling them but it actually really helped - they were a lot stronger than I had imagined and were both so lovely.

Gig - where would you're dh keep the caste? Would it have pride of place on the mantlepiece?

gig when I had my cast made I did quip to the man ( yes man !!!! Even more embarrassment) making it that I would take it home with me after treatment finished .
He gave a nervous laugh and looked a little at me so I never mentioned it again !

Nightisyoung I really think he might put it there . Also am already getting the sun burned arse jokes - trust me to get something that gives you symptoms of piles without having them.

Agree with amber- cancer (ESP breast cancer ) is common but you can live though it. Sounds trite but I am starting to appreciate the simpler things more and be much more positive. Everyone knows they are mortal and need to be careful of themselves - we just know better than most.

And yes it was bad having dx, new born by c section then a big op. but plus points are that was dx in hospital and got specialist team on it day one, there is no good time to be dx and having a new born hasn't seemed so stressful (have no time to analyze is she feeding etc and can appreciate the cuddles all the more).

I am being chilled about mini gig as she

has fallen asleep at last... Ask me this time tomorrow when she has had her first jabs and is wailing (that is tomorrows treat)

at topsy. I know dh will ask as has no shame

Angryfeet - i am on your behalf. I'll keep the candle lit a bit longer: here's to some positive news later.

LJ You will look lovely in red, MAS is right. Have a blast.

Istep - welcome from me, too. No-one can advise you what to do but we'll be glad to hold your hand while you decide. It is a big, big shock, but we have all been where you are now, and are at different stages along the recovery road. personally I am more or less exactly three years post diagnosis and have had a lumpectomy, chemo and radiotherapy, and it was no picnic - but it was do-able, admittedly with teeth gritted , and I am still here to tell the tale. It is a treatable disease, so take heart.

As regards telling kids - my daughter was five when I was diagnosed and I told her everything, although I didn't use the C word. They will pick up on something being wrong and, her being as she is, half answers just wouldn't cut it. That proved to be right for us, and once you get your head round your treatment plan, you will know how best to approach your own kids. By all means take advice and read up on it - but go with your gut, once it has stopped churning, of course . Take deep breaths, and keep posting. We've all found it invaluable in our time - so much so that many of us can't give it up! xxx

1step my DC were aged 8 & 12 when I was diagnosed . The breast care nurse gave me a book called Mummy's Lump which to be honest was aimed at children a fair bit younger than mine .
I didn't tell them anything till I had spoken to my surgeon and been told what my treatment plan was . And then I told them that I had cancer , would need an operation . And then medicine afterwards that would make me go bald and be sick .
I kept it all quite matter of fact and low key , and they have been really laid back about it all .

The best advice I was given was to keep them one step behind what I know .

Oh and don't think that we are all so cheerful that you can't come on here and have a whinge about how shite life is , cos we all have a turn at that every so often !

X posted angryfeet
What a pain in the arse ! Thank goodness for private health cover eh ?
Hope you get some good news .

Hi smee - I crossed posts with you. Thanks for replying to me, it's making me more sure about having a mastectomy, knowing that others have done the same, especially hearing that you also elected for the second one. I don't think I'll have an immediate reconstruction though because i don't feel ready to deal with the choices it involves. If you don't mind me asking, have you had reconstructive surgery?

I have lots of questions! How long did you spend in hospital after surgery? How long is the recovery period? Do you eventually get your head around it all and think about anything else? I've been glued to the internet for hours because I can't think about anything else.

Have spoken briefly to ds, seemed ok, but I didn't go into too much detail. Will take it at his pace and answer his questions honestly as he comes up with them.

TNIY - sorry to hear of your bad luck in having 2 unrelated cancers, life can be really tough at times. Glad things are improving for you. It's reassuring to hear so many people saying that once you've got a plan in place things feel better. I guess it's about taking some control and actually taking some action towards getting better.

I'm really touched that so many of you have replied to me, it's good to have the support of people who know what I'm going through, so thanks again.

Well for a brand new poster, I seem to have developed a case of verbal diarrhoea!

1step time in hospital seems to vary from region to region . I was in for 5 days when I had my mastectomy , but I know others on this thread have been out within 24 hours .

Recovery again varies from person to person . I went to Tesco the day after I got out of hospital and almost keeled over (can't help feeling this wouldn't have happened if we had Waitrose over here )

But generally with a couple if weeks you should start to feel human(ish) again .
Normally you start feeling well just in time to start chemo !

Sometimes and topsy - thanks for your advice. Looks like the general consensus is to keep the kids informed of what's going on, so that's what I'll do.

Sounds like you've been through the mill sometimes, glad you're out the other side. You're right about the churning stomach and my mouth is as dry as sandpaper. Think I'm using this forum as a distraction to stay in denial a bit longer. I'm sure it will hit me later...

I can't keep up with this thread though, I keep cross posting! I'm going to have to type faster if I'm going to keep up :)

Topsy - I'll prepare myself for a bit of a stay I think and if I get let out earlier it will be a bonus. Can't believe you tried to go shopping so soon! I'm hoping I might not need chemo but will depend on results of lymph node samples during surgery.

for Angry. Hope you get some more news today.

1step, will post a bit more on mastectomy later for you.

Got no food - am dashing to Sainsburys with promises of bribes for DS who really, really doesn't want to go - even more so as he has to pull the shopping trolley as my shoulder's still ick.

There's nothing wrong with a good bit of denial.
I had a lumpectomy and was out same day. Also worked all the way through chemo and radiotherapy. but was scuppered by the supposedly mild preventative drug at the end. So you just can't tell how you'll react until you're in it.

PS denial...have my 6mths after surgery meeting with surgeon next week and already convinced myself that he'll say it's back. Then heart specialist the day after. Arrgh!

I'll sit on your box with you amber
1step I was out the same day (lumpectomy and lymph node sampling) though they said I could stay if I preferred..2 days later I tried to do the shopping which was a big mistake- I think the general anaesthetic was still lingering, but really recovery was quite speedy-the underarm the sorest thing,it seemed to stay swollen for ages.

this is the 1000th post,so hop over to the sparkling new thread !!
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1429236-21st-TAMOXIFEN