My sisters children are going to be removed

[Namechange543]

Name changed for this but hoping someone can offer some advice.

My sisters children are going to be removed, there is a court hearing on Tuesday to decide this but with the overwhelming evidence against her and the fact they’ve been on a child protection plan for so long with her making no positive steps it’s only going to go one way.

The social worker tells me once the judge has made a decision they will speak to family about placements for them. I really want to help but the problem is she has 3 children and I already have 2 of my own so I can’t take them all. I have a 4 bed house so couldn’t fit them even if I could cope with 5 children.

Will they want them to stay together or will they split them to keep them with family? And if they do split them how on earth do you decide which 1 you take?

It’s such a nightmare. My mum could take 1 and I could take 1 but then do we leave the 1 not chosen to go into foster care. How damaging would that be! I’ve cried so much this week with the guilt that I can’t help them all.

[CovidAnni]

kinship
Please read the thread before posting, people!

[justilou1]

@Kinshipcarer - yeah, I did actually.

[BIWI]

@StarUtopia

BIWI FFS back to you. I was on my phone. I saw the original post and replied. I was not rude. I made one small comment.

I never even noticed the date. It was on Actives. And a sensitive issue - one I've been through myself, hence why I replied.

So what if you were on your phone?

It is rude not to read the whole thread. And if you've been through it yourself (and I'm genuinely sorry if you have - it must be horrible), then you should be doubly sensitive to the OP and take the time to read the whole thing.

[justilou1]

@Kinshipcarer - sorry - I have no idea why your name popped up!
@FelicityPike - for your information, I had read the whole thing and was expressing empathy to the op about her frustration that her sister had custody of the younger two kids and worry for the eldest that he will get the help he needs during Covid. YES I read the fcking thing. Perhaps you didn’t read mine. I was also praising the OP for being a caring, decent human being for trying to do the right thing from the time she realized that these kids were in trouble and being stymied by the authorities from the beginning. It seems like this is still happening. Perhaps if you’re troll hunting, you need to look in the mirror.

[BIWI]

@justilou1

Well, given that the OP's post started with:

I know this is an old post but I’m the OP under a new username and wanted to update those who were concerned and supported me with this that just over a month ago the children were removed from my sisters care

And yours started with:

I honestly can’t believe your sister still has custody

It does, indeed, look like you hadn't read her post.

And it's not troll hunting to take issue with people who can't be bothered to read the OP's threads properly.

[FelicityPike]

@justilou1 But the OP’s sister DOESN’T have custody of ANY of the children!
The OP changed her user name!
I’m definitely not Troll hunting BUT it’s incredibly ignorant to post replies that are absolutely meaningless and have no relevance. Thanks.

[justilou1]

“Hearing was this afternoon and the children are still with her. Quite surprised as I thought there was no chance they wouldn’t remove them.”
That clearly states that she has the kids

[FelicityPike]

@justilou1 and “ Kinshipcarer

I know this is an old post but I’m the OP under a new username and wanted to update those who were concerned and supported me with this that just over a month ago the children were removed from my sisters care. The delays mean they have sadly suffered more abuse and trauma as a result and they all have really complex needs as a result. We were approved as foster carers under regulation 24 and have the youngest with us. It’s been challenging but it’s working. The main thing is all the children are finally safe.”
Tells you what actually happened next if you HAD READ THE FUCKING THREAD!!!! 🤬

[FelicityPike]

@justilou1 and “ Kinshipcarer

I know this is an old post but I’m the OP under a new username and wanted to update those who were concerned and supported me with this that just over a month ago the children were removed from my sisters care. The delays mean they have sadly suffered more abuse and trauma as a result and they all have really complex needs as a result. We were approved as foster carers under regulation 24 and have the youngest with us. It’s been challenging but it’s working. The main thing is all the children are finally safe.”
Tells you what actually happened next if you HAD READ THE FUCKING THREAD!!!! 🤬

[AllThatGlistensIs]

Fucking hell..

OP HAS NAME CHANGED...

Reading and comprehension skills before you jump on other posters, hey?

[Littlepaws18]

Wow! This site is a forum to enable people with issues to gain helpful advice and support. The OP has gone through an ordeal that is devastating. Don't lose sight of this objective.

OP I really hope you get the support you need from social services in order to heal this little boy. Thinking of you x

[Kinshipcarer]

@justilou1

I’m the OP, none of the children are in my sister’s care. They are all safe but thanks for the concern about them. My name change has confused the situation.

[justilou1]

Right thanks for clearing that up. I’m very pleased that she doesn’t have them. I hope they’re okay and getting the help they need to heal. I’m sorry you had to through all that as a family member too. I hope you have had a chance to heal also.

[Dj2020]

I'm in this exact same situation right now only that I dont have my own children. The court case is soon.. I am absolutely at my whits end with worry and do not know what to do for the best

[NinaMimi]

So sorry you’ve been through all this. Hopefully things go well with the five year old. It’s a shame your sister and the children didn’t get the help they needed earlier.

Also I think with a thread this long people should be a bit kinder on those who just read all the OPs messages as the name change makes it easier to miss updates.

[PracticingPerson]

OP - I don't think you should have posted this thread really.

A really dreadful situation for all involved and I massively sympathise but I feel uncomfortable that so many unqualified people are discussing your young relatives here.

I wish you and the children all the best and hope that there is some progress for them.

[WithinAForestDark]

Goodness me. This is an old thread. Why on earth it's been bumped we will never know and why people are answering it without RTFT is another thing we will never know.

How hard is it to check the date and check that it's over 600 posts long and figure to yourself that maybe things have moved on since the OP?

[Neverspeakofthisagain]

@Kinshipcarer

I read both your threads and followed the name change, and wanted to wish you well with the youngest. Well done for fighting/reporting and not giving up for so so long. They will all be getting the help they need now. And although it's devastating, your sister being in hospital is probably the best thing that could happen to her right now.

I wasn't going to shout RTFT at people, but having got to the bottom, my mind is just blown by the laziness of some people. If you can see a thread is approaching 1000 messages, surely you might figure out that there have been developments? And if you are that lazy and knee-jerk, stick to chat or a light-hearted AIBU. These kinds of threads are not the place for glib, lazy remarks.

[Happymum12345]

Of course you could fit all the children into your house. 4 bedrooms is more than enough! Either help or don’t. Personally, I would do anything to help look after those vulnerable children.

[BitchIAmFromChicago]

And again...RTFT....

[tenlittlecygnets]

@Happymum12345, for God's sake, RTFT.

OP has posted updates under the user name Kinshipcarer.

Am amazed at everyone blithely saying 'of course you could take all the dc', like it's a piece of cake to take on three damaged siblings who are abusive and violent to each other. Wold you all really do that? What about the impact on your lives and your dc??

@Kinshipcarer, wishing you all the very best.

[Hereforhelp127]

4 bed house? Definitely room, they are your nieces and nephews, I would do it in a heartbeat, I have 4 kids in a 3 bed, hard but the care System would just spilt them up!
I got token away from my mum when I was 7, my sister was 3 and brother was 11
My nan had us all moved house gave up her job and dream house, she was 50 at the time, she did it and so greatful we didn’t go into care ♥️

[Shouldbedoing]

Read the full thread

[Nith]

@Hereforhelp127

4 bed house? Definitely room, they are your nieces and nephews, I would do it in a heartbeat, I have 4 kids in a 3 bed, hard but the care System would just spilt them up!
I got token away from my mum when I was 7, my sister was 3 and brother was 11
My nan had us all moved house gave up her job and dream house, she was 50 at the time, she did it and so greatful we didn’t go into care ♥️

Why would you not read at least the OP's posts before posting on such a long thread? I know she changed her name at the end, but all the older posts demonstrate why this one is so inappropriate.

[Lochmorlich]

Hi OP.
Do you manage to have any contact with the older two?
Wishing you all well.