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Original poster

My sisters children are going to be removed

560 replies

Namechange543 · 04/07/2020 15:42

Name changed for this but hoping someone can offer some advice.

My sisters children are going to be removed, there is a court hearing on Tuesday to decide this but with the overwhelming evidence against her and the fact they’ve been on a child protection plan for so long with her making no positive steps it’s only going to go one way.

The social worker tells me once the judge has made a decision they will speak to family about placements for them. I really want to help but the problem is she has 3 children and I already have 2 of my own so I can’t take them all. I have a 4 bed house so couldn’t fit them even if I could cope with 5 children.

Will they want them to stay together or will they split them to keep them with family? And if they do split them how on earth do you decide which 1 you take?

It’s such a nightmare. My mum could take 1 and I could take 1 but then do we leave the 1 not chosen to go into foster care. How damaging would that be! I’ve cried so much this week with the guilt that I can’t help them all.

OP posts:
OzziePopPop · 02/11/2020 05:38

Well done op.

HappenedForAReisling · 02/11/2020 06:00

Wishing you all the best Kinshipcarer.

tenthavenue · 02/11/2020 06:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PopsicleHustler · 02/11/2020 06:48

I read through all the OPs posts and wow, I am absolutely disgusted and appalled for the children. No wonder, the eldest feels worthless. How I wish I could give them all a big hug and help them get into good families. I feel so sad for the little one. Imagine being beaten up by your elder sibling and the mother encouraged it whilst taking best. Absolutely hideous. She needs imprisoned for serious neglect and harm. The court and social services have failed these poor kids. They all need help and really pray to God that they are all getting the help they deserve otherwise they could all end up with a bad future.

My younger sister has been involved on drugs since 12. Got involved with awful men, prostitution herself for drugs, sleeping in the streets, she used to beat my mother up for the drugs and steal from my mum and I. I went through a lot and I had an awful childhood based on a lot of things. My mother supports my sister one hundred percent and disowned me because she hates my husband, thinks I'm brainwashed and she has severe mental health issues which means she randomly rings me drunk screaming abuse and making up stories down the phone, she hates me for no reason whatsoever and we have no contact for the past 3 years. My sister moved to london which is roughly an hour from us, and got involved with all the wrong people and then got pregnant twice by two different men. Both children were born with drugs, cigarettes and alcohol in their systems. She had them both taken off her but was given the opportunity to see them supervised. Both herself and her partner would turn up to the sessions in a contact centre either drunk as skunks or completely out of it on heroin and coke and sometimes they wouldn't even show up. They banned her from seeing the kids. And now shes living in and out of refuges and hostels. She still sees my mother on the odd occasion and has put my mother in dangerous situations as she had odd older men that could be either pimps or dealers driving my sister from London to my mothers home to visit. I have told my mother before when we did have sporadic contact not to let my sister in or give the address but my mother is very foolish and still calls my younger sister an angel and her little darling and I am the evil one. I have tried to support both of them as they have bipolar, but in the end I have had to take a back seat for my own mental health and wellbeing. I am trying to focus on my own family. All I want is for my sisters children to be in a safe home and clean and stable environment just like your sisters children.

I really hope the eldest two are being shown a lot of love and kindness and one day they will be reunited.

Am sorry to say, your sister makes me sick. I was so angry and it was so hard to read a lot of that. I cannot believe it.

Can we have updates please of the children to know how they are getting on, if you're able to. Many thanks

KatherineJaneway · 02/11/2020 06:51

Great news OP

iguanadonna · 02/11/2020 06:52

Well done and good luck OP.

heuchterteuchter · 02/11/2020 06:55

Lovely news Kinshipcarer. pleased the poor children have finally been removed.
well done on taking in the 5 year old, that can't be easy. You've done an amazing thing. I hope all the children are getting the care and support they need.

Okbutnotgreat · 02/11/2020 07:02

@Kinshipcarer I’ve just read the thread, thank you for the update. You really are an amazing sister and aunt, what a truly horrible situation to be put in. Nothing useful to add, just wanted to say well done and I really hope it all works out for the bestFlowers

Oatbaroatbar · 02/11/2020 07:12

Well done OP, hope it works out ok for all the kids

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 02/11/2020 07:29

Well done, OP. You must be the best thing that ever happened to that child. So sad for the older ones, but I hope this means they’ll at last get the care they need. Best of luck to you all.

TiersTiersTiers · 02/11/2020 07:37

I feel for you. As a relative watching your sister and her partner abuse, neglect and harm children it must have been awful. Can you ask to keep in touch with them?

It is good that they are likely to be removed, not sad. Sad is them staying where they are where they have been abused and continue to not have their needs met. Poor children have been through so much and deserve a lovely home. I hope that they are found wonderful foster homes and have the chance to heal and lead better lives.

TiersTiersTiers · 02/11/2020 07:45

@Kinshipcarer

I know this is an old post but I’m the OP under a new username and wanted to update those who were concerned and supported me with this that just over a month ago the children were removed from my sisters care. The delays mean they have sadly suffered more abuse and trauma as a result and they all have really complex needs as a result. We were approved as foster carers under regulation 24 and have the youngest with us. It’s been challenging but it’s working. The main thing is all the children are finally safe.
@Kinshipcarer

Good luck for all of you.

FelicityPike · 02/11/2020 07:45

I wish you all well x.

notapizzaeater · 02/11/2020 07:53

Good luck, let's hope some of the damage can be undone.

user1493494961 · 02/11/2020 07:55

Wishing you all the best, you sound such a lovely person x

chocolatespiders · 02/11/2020 07:55

You have all been through such an ordeal.
How are the older ones doing? Are they together.
All the best for the future op.

dinosnorezzzz · 02/11/2020 08:10

Op the love for your nephews really showed through in your posts and I am glad that they have finally been removed from your sister although it sounds like things got worse for them before this happened which is awful. I'm glad the youngest is with you and hopefully starting to understand what a loving family is. Do you have any contact with the older children at all? How has your sister been with what has happened?

Ellmau · 02/11/2020 08:12

A shame it took so long, @Kinshipcarer, but hopefully the little one will be happy with you, and the others safe elsewhere.

LazyDaisy22 · 02/11/2020 08:14

Thanks for updating OP. The very best of wishes for the children’s future and you’ve done a lovely thing in taking in the youngest. Good luck to you all

scrivette · 02/11/2020 08:19

Thank you for the update OP, I wish you all the best.

CovidAnni · 02/11/2020 08:22

@Kinshipcarer Flowers well done and thank you for updating. Be demanding of SS for support.
@PopsicleHustler Flowers too.

longcoffee · 02/11/2020 08:26

I'd push the social worker to get a plan in place for the outcome either way. As soon as that judge makes a decision, action will be taken - you have a bloody right to know what you are doing so you can support the kids!

pralineandketchup · 02/11/2020 08:26

@Kinshipcarer

I know this is an old post but I’m the OP under a new username and wanted to update those who were concerned and supported me with this that just over a month ago the children were removed from my sisters care. The delays mean they have sadly suffered more abuse and trauma as a result and they all have really complex needs as a result. We were approved as foster carers under regulation 24 and have the youngest with us. It’s been challenging but it’s working. The main thing is all the children are finally safe.
OP I read the thread back in the summer, I'm so glad that you were able to do this and that it's working. Is your youngest able to have any contact with his older siblings, obviously it may not be appropriate. Flowers
diddl · 02/11/2020 08:35

What an awful situation & that those poor children were left so long with their mum.

Is it just the 5yr old that you have, Op?

Are the other two also in different homes?

Do they see each other?

BigBigPumpkin · 02/11/2020 08:45

Just to say well done, OP. Wishing you all the best with supporting your nephew. I hope they all are doing better now.