Things you've learnt from the movies

[OrlandoWoolf]

If you capture a secret agent, kill them. Don't tell them your plans.Just kill them. Preferably yourself with lots of people around.

If someone is dead,make sure they're dead. Kill them again. Just to make sure.

That if you are ever in a situation requiring you to drive rather fast (eg chasing the bad guys, escaping from aliens, etc) you will immediately develop advanced driving skills that would put The Stig to shame.

Mobile phones always have signal and never run out of battery. Ever. And people always answer them immediately.

*event

Oh my word, my grammar. I cannot hold a conversation with dc and type a post at the same time obviously.

"Mobile phones always have signal and never run out of battery. Ever. And people always answer them immediately."

Unless you're in trouble and need an ambulance/police/saving from a psycho in the middle of nowhere. In that case the phone will always be dead or without signal.

If you are Irish, you are either a terrorist, or else you live on a farm in the arse end of nowhere.

Unless you are Liam Neeson

If no one knows your name,, or you start showing people photos of your loved ones "back home", you're probably going to die before the day is out.

If you go jogging, there's a very good chance that a serial killer will target you.

Everyone leaves their laptop switched on when they go out. Very handy when there's an inevitable police raid and a detective can just lift the laptop lid for instant access.

Facial recognition programs will always find a match within two minutes, even when they have to scan thousands of potential matches.

Even when you know that you have a stalker watching your every move, you must never buy curtains or otherwise block the view into your windows.

If you are a female detective you will be so consumed by your work you will have no clue how totally fit you are, and fail to notice the myriad of hunks trying to get your attention. You will go home to dad to bemoan your life, probably go watch the game with him/go fishing. Your parents will worry how thin you have become, but you won't have noticed because... Your work.

That black people always die first, comedy or horror.

That the popular mean girl has problems at home.

That you give the pizza delivery person notes and never coins.

That you need the lamps on during the daytime.

That you drink milk directly from the carton from the fridge.

That there is only 24 hours or less to save the US president. No other world leader needs saving. Ever. Maybe the queen sometimes.

All British, or young single ladies are quirky and living as spendthrifts.

That all top scientists / inventors are mad Germans.

That a good drink or meal can bring a woman to orgasm am still looking for this drink myself

American houses are remarkably easy to get out from the top window.

If a parent grounds you, you have to get out. Ideally through this window.

It's a great idea to split up and go looking for the prowler you know is about.

The sporty, muscly one dies first.

No-one ever needs the toilet.

The car key is always behind the sun visor.

That all american teen boys have plaid bed linen

That in high shool it is always warm enough to eat outside

That if you and your mum run towards one another at full pelt, you will switch bodies.

If you see 2 men wearing suits and sunglasses, they're probably FBI. Or CIA.

The US Military is remarkably well organised and can quickly react to any situation in a few hours with 1000s of soldiers.

Never walk about work on your last day saying things like 'oh I'm really looking forward to retirement'.

You will die.

All English characters in American films speak in perfect "plum" english - never in local accents.

Any building project has to be constructed cheaply. It makes the disaster easier to happen.

Only maverick scientists can spot danger. Not the Government - who probably caused it in the first place.

Hill billies are invariably evil.

Getting shot doesn't hurt much beyond a bit of a pinch.

Punching someone doesn't hurt your fist.

You can have a heavy fall from a galloping horse or a speeding train and it won't slow you down in any way. Or even hurt.

Marking place.

A cough is never just a cough. It's a signal of imminent death.

Very much like this thread

So normal American people don't live in Home Alone houses, with a million bedrooms, atics and basements.

If you meet someone you can't stand,they're obviously your true love.

When your in danger the car won't start until you turn it over a few times, say "oh come on. Please." And then you must hit the steering wheel. Then the car will start just as the bad guy is about to get you.