Things you've learnt from the movies

[OrlandoWoolf]

If you capture a secret agent, kill them. Don't tell them your plans.Just kill them. Preferably yourself with lots of people around.

If someone is dead,make sure they're dead. Kill them again. Just to make sure.

Visable? I do apologise. Visible, of course.

Yy wicked also the Statue of Liberty will have her head lopped off, cue camera shot of it spiralling down into the water.

at London Calling.

You can hack into highly techno-ma-logical systems on any old laptop, a big access denied page will flag up, until you guess the correct code - password1? then you'll get the 'Access Granted' screen.
If this is happening when you've broken into someone's office, you'll manage to get the information and jump out of the window just as they put their hand on the door and push it open.

The UK is basically London and Scottish castles.

That all women have sex wearing their bras

That it is totally normal to go fridge raiding in the middle of the night

It's possible to drive from Scotland to London on a pre-war motorbike with sidecar in about 30 minutes, but only if you wear a leather helmet and goggles, take an elderly lady with you, and get stuck in an unexpected flock of sheep.

You can guess the password for any computer in about two attempts.

It's against the law to have any big budget film made in the UK without including the entire older cast of Harry Potter in one guise or another in it.

When you have naked sex with someone then get up , the sheet magically wraps around you like a crisp sexy toga .

When you have sex with someone you both flop back onto the pillows , in unison , and pant .

That it seems remarkably easy to meet and pick up people in bars in the USA.

That the leading man can be helped to 'overcome'his personal pain/emotional trauma/ fear of ice cream if the best friend/ brothers sister etc will put up with a load of knobish behavior and have a makeover

The first sign of labour is always your waters breaking without warning. You look nonplussed, until someone else points out you're going into labour and starts the mad panicky rush to hospital.

Everyone goes to hospital and waits around in a waiting room until the baby arrives.

That Christmas in New York is twinkly and pretty and everyone is super kind to each other and music plays all the time and all crime stops completely

You have thirty minutes at most between your water breaking and the baby arriving.

It will be born clean, unwrinkled and three months old. You will be fully made-up, although a little wan.

You don't have to pay when you get a drink, the bar person always knows your usual and just slams it down in front of you but there's never fumbling for change!

American High Schools all have different tribes and groups.They all wear different clothes - jocks wear sports gear, cheerleaders always wear cheerleader outfits and emos wear black clothes. Every high school has rows of lockers,the PE coach is a git and there's always an election for Prom queen or something.

That if you are a lone woman being chased around the house by an axeman then you must lock yourself in the bathroom.Said axeman then smashes the door down and lone woman gets killed because the window is too small to escape through.
That if you are caught in a compromising position with another adult, even if nothing is going on, you have to say "It's not what you think" and you never get the chance to explain whats going in.

True pickle and spirits should be consumed neat, without wincing and you can drive home stone cold sober after.

If you are a detective you'll stand in your basic dimly lit apartment eating cold Chinese takeaway from the fridge while knocking back tumblerfulls of neat scotch.

Yy and High School students all look at least 25.

Making cupcakes is not only a viable career choice, it is surprisingly lucrative.

If you are a male detective, you are probably divorced or going to be divorced. You probably have a drink problem as well.

If you live in a small American town there's always an even on, Founders Day Dancy, Southern Belles Ball etc. Everybody in town goes and manages to pull of amazing fancy dress outfits, even if you didn't decide to go until the last minute. These things are fraught with drama, somebody will inevitable be murdered.

Pmsl at these, they're great

If an important door is closing, you will make it through. Just.

You won't get trapped on the wrong side.

If you are in a submarine, one of you will die but in a brave way saving the rest of the crew.

School plays are always on a proper stage.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.