This is the problem with men

[CassieMaddox]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c33nv8x64mlo

I strongly suggest only reading the first para.

This is a mild mannered researcher, highly educated, appeared to be an animal lover. Featured on programmes with David Attenborough.

In his free time liked to torture animals for sexual kicks.

He says: "Adding that his family was not aware or involved in any way, he wrote: "I will seek long term treatment and... I will find a path towards redemption."

Still blaming others, not taking responsibility for his choice.

This case to me shows how impossible it is to "pick the right man", and what annoying thing that is to say to abused women. And also that these men systematically blame their abnormal sex drive on an "illness" or addiction, rather than facing up to the fact they can control their penises.

I don't know what the answer is. I wish he was never getting out of jail.

There was something similar and it involved monkey's.a woman was also involved not that it matters whether male or female taking part in acts of such depravity and cruelty.

You do realise that only a tiny proportion of crimes are detected, yeah?

When there are no complainants, eg animals, then that tiny number becomes even smaller.

There is a lot of evil that we will never ever hear about. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing (in that we are naive).

That does go without saying for all crimes. My later post did include possibly better figures to use. I am stunned at how common this crime is. If I go to my local Theater for a sell-out show it's quite likely there are 20 women and 40men in the audience that are in to this kind of thing. Staggering.

Sheri S Tepper's 'A gate to women's country' has some interesting ideas about this :D

@CassieMaddox It's extremely unusual for a man, or anyone, to enjoy abusing animals, so picking a man like this would require being particularly unlucky.

The advice to "pick the right man" is still sound advice. While it might be difficult to identify some behaviours if they are particularly well hidden, it's still generally a good idea not to pick a man who is obsessed with cars, drives fast, acts like "a lad", is sociable, or who is rude to other people.

@shuggles The problem is that those guys are hot. When you're 18 anyway. And they're usually the ones who have the balls to actually ask you out or snog you in the nightclub.

I, like every other woman ever, had to learn the hard way by trying one or two of them out. Guess what, they were manipulative and cheated on me! Who could have known!!?

^ shudder ... I've just re-read my post and realised that's exactly what incels go on about. I think I'll go and have a shower.

Someone upthread mentioned Sheri Tepper, I saw this article

https://archive.ph/vpIML paywall bypass

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2024/08/14/sitting-office-boring-taliban-soldiers-long-war-afghanistan/

and it reminded me of a piece from one of her books that stuck with me. A woman was asked the question 'what is the good of dead warriors?'. The answer she comes up with is 'that they are dead'.

I don't know if that was just the character or if Sheri truly believed that (it certainly chimes with the eugenics theme of Gateway to Women's Country). Anyway, that article had me close to agreeing with her.

It was me and it is a brilliant book, if strangely written. Definitely earns its place on my bookshelf.

Love Sheri Tepper. I think I quoted from The Awakeners (also published in two volumes as Northshore and Southshore), not my favourite of her books (that might be Grass) but that bit stuck with me. I haven't read The Gate to Women's Country in an age. It's definitely overdue a reread.

You're not wrong. Aggressive, dangerous dog breeds get banned, we neuter and try and breed in positive traits for the improvement of the species....The human race appears to be heading the opposite way.

There are feminists on this thread calling for eugenics and other feminists are agreeing with them.

To.borrow a phrase' This is the problem with feminists.

Keep your judgemental tarring brush to yourself.

Breeding out undesirable tenancies is literally the definition of eugenics. Thar is what has been called for and agreed with.

And yes, I am judging people who call for this. They deserve to be pulled up on it.

Feminists will be - and will deserve to be - ignored if you come out with this shit.

Why? To what benefit is aggression for our species of mammal? Are you happy with all the wars currently going on? All of which are aggression over reasoning and trying to work out peaceful solutions.

@VoodooQualities The problem is that those guys are hot. When you're 18 anyway.

How on earth can those people be "hot"? I just can't understand this. What's attractive about rude, loud, obnoxious, lad/ladette type behaviour? The people I have always liked the most are those who are really gentle and kind. Is that strange or something?

And they're usually the ones who have the balls to actually ask you out or snog you in the nightclub.

And why can't you ask people out?

If you wait for people to ask you out, then you're only going to be exposed to a small percentage of men, and it's a very rude and unpleasant sub-section of men.

Tbf women commit the vast majority of child abuse. Usually the mother.

Do you have any stats for that? I'm interested in seeing them broken down into types of abuse.

People at the extreme end of most ideologies are usually pretty bonkers. But it's hard to criticise them as you're then accused of 'misogyny' or not caring about women's rights.

Same could be said about people criticising Extinction Rebellion ("you don't care about the planet" etc) when in reality we all know that die hard ER members are loons.

Given that the vast majority of women nowadays specifically state that they aren't feminists but do believe in equality (often citing feminism as 'toxic') I think that certain strands of feminists might find themselves amongst the first to go if society was allowed to start separating the wheat from the chaff so to speak.

They can be easily found online. Apologies, but I'm not going to start digging through the internet halfhour before bed with a 5am start tomorrow.

Basically, men dominate sexual abuse but women pretty much everything else, which is the majority - neglect, violence, etc.

You mean purely physical abuse. This is because women are the ones caring for the children. If men did as much childcare as women do their rates would be higher. You can't abuse somebody frequently if you're hardly ever around to do it.
Naturally men do most of the sexual abuse, despite the fact that they spend much less time with children. Another form of abuse that isn't often recorded as abuse (and it should be) is beating the mother in front of the children.

I'm not sure if that 'Why' is addressed to.me.

I'm not happy with aggression. I'm not happy with wars. These are both predpminantly throwbacks to caveman times when physical violence and aggression were needed for survival.

What's your point?

Yes, that's likely a huge factor. However, when we talk about male violence we don't usually tend to look at the 'why' so much as the raw statistics.

Nobody is saying "well, if women had as much testosterone as men then they'd probably be as violent too". So we either need to stick to the stats/facts or consider the underlying reasons in both cases. Otherwise it's a false equivalence/unfair comparison surely.

I think women who take testosterone, transmen usually, are slightly more likely to prone to crime. I don't have a link, I'm just remembering something I read somewhere. However, I don't know what the comparison was and having a trans identity often comes with a bunch of other mental health problems. So, the elevated testosterone could be coincidental.