This is the problem with men

[CassieMaddox]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c33nv8x64mlo

I strongly suggest only reading the first para.

This is a mild mannered researcher, highly educated, appeared to be an animal lover. Featured on programmes with David Attenborough.

In his free time liked to torture animals for sexual kicks.

He says: "Adding that his family was not aware or involved in any way, he wrote: "I will seek long term treatment and... I will find a path towards redemption."

Still blaming others, not taking responsibility for his choice.

This case to me shows how impossible it is to "pick the right man", and what annoying thing that is to say to abused women. And also that these men systematically blame their abnormal sex drive on an "illness" or addiction, rather than facing up to the fact they can control their penises.

I don't know what the answer is. I wish he was never getting out of jail.

Also the more humans on the planet the higher the amount of dysfunctional ones.

That's interesting and I can believe it as there are countless studies showing the link between testosterone and violent crime - both in men and women. The only prominent person that seems to disagree with the link is Cordelia Fine, but she's a self described feminist so arguably not impartial (most feminists seem to think it's down to the patriarchy/social conditioning as opposed to reflecting the behaviour we see in the vast majority of male mammals).

Sorry, regarding my previous post, iirc the tm crime rate was still far less than that of blokes.

The men have come to tell us how they are the fairer sex.

P.S women are not a hive mind either.

But if men did the opposite and explained to you how testosterone increases risk-taking behaviour which can lead to violent and illegal actions, you would be saying that this is not true and it's just being used an excuse for poor male behaviour.

Being stuck with the lion's share of childcare and having testosterone running in your veins are completely different things. One is circumstantial and the other is biological. If you change the circumstances (better supports for single and SAH moms, for example) you could reduce the violence. However, there is not much hope of mitigating violence that has a biological basis.
That said, it has never been proven that testosterone actually causes violence. However, if indeed it does, that would make males inherently dangerous.

There has been correlation seen in studies, but causation has not been established to my knowledge, unless there's something new.

A grown man would know that it is true that testosterone increases risk taking behaviour but it is not an excuse for male violence against women and girls.

We see you.

It's faintly amusing that women are painted as the slaves to our hormones when, apparently, it was those poor testorical men all along

Testosterone - a good servant but a cruel master. Wouldn't want to be without my fair share.

I agree, but I also think men indeed are the fairer sex. Men do not live as long and are more prone to illness and poor health. This is why it is important to look after and care for men. Men care deeply for the people around them too.

Mangle words as much as you want.

You are playing on the original meaning of the phrase "fairer sex". When it was common to refer to women as the fairer sex, I don't think the reaction was to be nicer and more caring to women. They got beat up a lot and told they weren't capable of contributing to society. But now that you want it to be men referred to as the fairer sex, we should be caring and kind and let them do whatever they like.

I'm not taking part in your game. I've seen where mangling language goes and it never ends well for women.

I can’t tell if you’re being serious. Men get quite a lot of looking after- had you not noticed?

Unfortunately it doesn’t stop at 18. I know one woman in her 30s who is incapable of being alone and consistently chooses the sort of man who you can see is bad news from a mile away.

She humiliates herself for two or three months, it ends in tears and then two weeks later she’s back to square one with a clone of the previous boyfriend. Rinse and repeat.

Ironically she’s always quick to judge the decent male long-term partners of her friends for the smallest of things - mostly whenever she hears one of them has had to pay for something herself.

Women commit the most violence? I do not think so.
Pretty sure we all know that men are many times more violent, to other men and women and animals.

Neglect? Potentially, but doubtful.

Be more specific with etc. What is this everything else?

It's a bit ironic that you ask me to be more specific whilst taking my statement out of the very nuanced context it was stated in. Namely, that aside from sexual abuse women dominate pretty much all other areas of child abuse.

That said, it has never been proven that testosterone actually causes violence.

Actually, it sort of has tbf. But the devil is in the detail as people often demand a much higher level of 'proof' for statements they disagree with - the antithesis of confirmation bias.

We know that increasing testosterone within the human physiological range increases stimulation of the 'fight or flight' part of the brain.

We know that both men and women with high testosterone levels are more likely to commit violent crime.

We know that injecting mammals with testosterone increases territorial behaviour and attacks.

We know that neutured animals are much less aggressive (odd that so many people deny the link with testosterone/violence yet neuter their dogs to improve agreeability). 🤔

We know that male elephants, for example, become extremely dangerous and unpredictable during 'musth' when testosterone levels rise by up to 400%.

There are so so many studies....

People will still say this isn't 'proof' but there's still much more 'proof' of testosterone increasing violence than there is concrete proof of, say, the patriarchy.

In fact, there's not actually a lot of proof that men commit more DV than women tbf. Aside from crime stats (which all the charities say are skewed from men underreporting for fear of not being taken seriously/being seen as weak) the vast majority of studies over the last 50 years show both sexes to be roughly equal or women to be the most violent.

The biggest metastudy of DV ever conducted analysed 1700 peer reviewed DV studies and found that women were more violent to their partners than men. So, I sometimes can't help but feel that people are extremely selective with what they choose to believe on here.

Those are correlations. That's not the same as causation. Causation can certainly be inferred, but it isn't proven.

The studies you refer to actually show women commit more minor acts such as slapping and pushing. Men, otoh, commit more serious assaults involving bodily harm.
When men do minor assaults like slapping and pushing, it usually escalates to bodily harm over time. Not so with women.
To twist that as women being "more violent" is to misuse statistics for rhetorical purposes.

Of course there is no proof of patriarchy. It's a concept, not a physical entity or an act. The actions that flow from it can be proven, but not that patriarchy is the cause. Causation can be inferred, as with testosterone and violence.
That it can't be proven doesn't make the inference worthless or incorrect in either case.

I hope that made sense. It's looking a bit like like word salad because I'm having trouble expressing exactly what I mean at the moment.

So, no, you cannot be more specific then?

Just admit it, you are wrong

Emotional abuse/ neglect is surely more common by men, the absent father, by definition, neglects his child. That's before we get to financial abuse, by withholding child support payments.

What's the end game here?

State that men are as safe as women so no need for men to have focused and targeted support?

Or men should be free to "do as they please" because women are just naysaying?

Saying "this is the problem with men" is a bad framing of the subject matter. Fine. but how does ignoring that men are the sex more prone to the most violent acts against women and children move anything forward?

Sounds like this thread is just going round in circles to not tarnish the names of violent men...

You really want me to list all the different types of child abuse?

Good point. You could even say neglect by fathers is at epidemic levels.
Then there is the common situation where the father is emotionally absent and doesn't nurture his children emotionally even if he lives with them.

this case has really stuck with me since i read it.

I have the unfortunate experience of being involved with someone who when he showed his true colours, beastiality was among them. I met him when i was 14 and was in a very bad place and he fed into it to try and groom me into his 'perfect victim' thankfully i managed to escape it when he showed himself. but i live in fear everyday that either he'll find me or i'll find out he did something worse.

"A Russian tourist who was gored while allegedly trying to rape a cow after he was dumped by his girlfriend now faces being conscripted to fight for Putin against Ukraine.
Evgenii Kuvshinov, 26, is said to have stripped off and sidled over to a male bull before turning his attention to a female tied to a wooden fence in a field in Thailand last week.
He allegedly tried to mount the cow only for her to react violently - pinning him to the ground and goring him."

Well done that Cow!
I wish she finished him off.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13768561/Russian-tourist-gored-trying-rape-cow-flight-attendant-dumped-faces-conscripted-fight-Putin-against-Ukraine.html