The Anxiety Club- part 3!

[blissa]

Couldn't think of a more imaginative title!

Hi girls

I posted a reply on the other thread and now it's too big to reply to, so here we are a nice sparkly new thread!

xx

Morning Ladies,

Sorry not been around for a few days! Been busy with the boys and last night the site wouldn;t let me on

I have forgotten everything I have wanted to say a I have had so many post to read!

lora - is it today the HV is coming? Try not to worry too much they are only there to help! I totally loved my HV - she came to visit me before DS1 was born, just to have a wee chat and to see if there was anything I needed/wanted to know. You prob won;t see her again until a few weeks after the baby is born. Once the HV i happy that everything is fine at home they will hardly bother you at all! My HV knew all about my anxiety and to be honest she couldn;t have been nicer about it. Unfortunatly she left my GP practice We have a new one now, but I probably wouldn;t go to her wait any problems I had! Most HV are lovely!

Kildare & choclab - also at the holidays!! How do you cope with the flying?? I would love to go away, but I am a bit put off by being stuck on a plane Althought when the whole anxiety thing started the very thought of being syuck on a plane could have set me off, but now I think I would probably force myself and just deal with it! We can;t afford to go awa this year anyway - so no point worrying about it

I have been good anxiety wise - had a few horrible days on the run up to my period, but feeling fine again now! Think I am heading into town today with the boys to try n get them something to wear for the wedding we have at the end of the month. I am bridesmaid so got my outfit sorted Was thinking of putting DS1 in a kilt and DS2 in a little white/ beige suit?!

Hope everyone else is well and anxiety free today x x x

Hello ladies,
Hope everyone is well - I am feeling super proud of myself as I drove both to and back from uni by myself and coped really well I got there and decided that rather than wait for dp to get train down to drive me back that I would just do it myself!! Was quite nervous - especially at a couple of congested points (traffic jams on motorway make me very panicky) but played my Florence and the Machines cd really loud and sang along to 'The Dark Days are Over' to distract myself and cheer myself up.
Also just cleaned out two of the guinea pig cages so am feeling like I deserve a treat this evening!
Hugs to all xxx

Well done on the drive Piggy!!! It feels really good when you manage to do things like that

I have had an awful day...was on the brink of two anxiety attacks Really not felt that bad for ages! I think I am getting stressed out about not being able to get a job, but I'm trying not to worry about it too much. Really don;t want to go down the anxiet route again - scary thought!

Hope you are all having a good night! Having an early one, hopefully a goodnights sleep with calm the anxiety a little!

Goodnight all x x x

Could it be hormones and heat too yommy? I've not been sleeping well cos of mugginess and that affects anxiety it's awful going through a bad patch and remembering what it is like at its worst Hope you manage to find something on the job front too - what sort of thing are you looking for? Hope the early night helps xx

Hi all,

Thanks yommy for your kind words. Am so sorry you had a bad day. I agree with piggy this heat is so draining. It really doesnt help. hope the job front improves- its so disheartening at the best of times. Hopefully some sunshine and a cool long drink will help.( still on my food and drink vibe im afraid) Take it easy

The HV vist was ok. She was nice enough am really nervous she will send someone from ss round as she asked if I ever had depression etc I answered as best I could. I didnt want to say no as its on my notes, could make everything worse, was as honest as I could be. I hate talking to people in RL about it. Its alot easier to type my thoughts rather than find words on the spot/ conduct a conversation.
I am really suffering at the moment I think its hormones, heat related anxiety to the baby especially, at the moment. I know its normal to be scared/ fear of the unknown. Its the lack of control and dealing with medical people I cant deal with. Im not worried how I'll/ dp and I will cope with a baby but more if baby will be ok, will I be ok.
I am just focussing on getting him and myself home safe and well. But then having to deal with more mv's and hv's in my home(space). I want him safe and well of course but I get so stressed out with medical people I am so defensive and worried I cannot even think about the birth, decided will just deal with it when the time comes.
Sorry Im not explaining myself very well. Am in a bit of state.

Anyhow... well done piggy for driving back as well The confidence you get from managing things like that gives such a buzz.

Sorry for my rant ladies. Hope you are all enjoying the sunny weather.

Lola x

Hey, seems I've found the thread for me! Really struggling with anxiety at the moment, well since I had DS 7 months ago.

Last week had a breakthrough when I put DS down on a communal carpet at a group - totally bonkers I know, but I was very proud of myself. Currently however having an argument with DH about swim pants for DS - he's gone off to buy new ones which I've said DS can't wear until they're washed... DH fuming...

Anyway, just a "hello" really,

F x

Hi Fiona and welcome! Have to say I always get a bit iffy about wearing underwear straight from the shop without washing ! I think I'd also be a bit funny about babies and germs (don't have any dcs yet but am very germ-aware!!)

I'm doing ok at the minute - had a couple of funny days but I think they are down to upheaval and tiredness so not getting to concerned.

How are things Lola? At least the heat is easing a bit! I'm glad the hv meeting went well - she definitely won't have been judging you or anything - just think of her as extra support and do tell her about your anxiety/depression etc as I think they try to keep an eye on you and make sure you have all the extra support you need to help you out - rather than judge or 'report' you!

Hope all the other ladies are well and choclab hope you are ok and things are ok re your mum.

xx

Hello

can I just ask you all - does anyone get anxious about getting anxious?

I know it sounds ridiculous but at the moment, any time I feel alright I freak myself out by thinking "I could just get anxious now".

Yes! I do that if I'm in a stressful situation and I analyse whether I'm feeling anxious and 'what if I start to feel anxious' even if I'm actually 'ok'.

Piggy - it's awful, isn't it! And then I worry that by worryign I could send myself round the bend.

I've been off ADs for 6 months and don't want to go back on them, because laughably, they made me anxious.

Do you think it's symptomatic of something or just a habit formed that could be broken by CBT?

Oooo yes I do. I've had awful stomach ache all day that I think is anxiety. It's because my Mum said that my DH had said to her the other day that he thinks I have "free floating anxiety" - is that a term he's made up?? Basically my son had an operation two weeks ago that I've known about and been dreading since our 20 week scan (just over a year ago), and now its over, he thinks I'm searching for something else to worry about.

Now I'm worrying that I'm worying too much and that I just "like" worrying for the sake of it....

I think it could be broken by CBT personally.

I think cbt could work too livethedream - I had a lovely counsellor who gave me a few distraction techniques like flicking elastic band on wrist, counting things. I also sing my favourite song lyrics in my head.
Fiona I think when you've been worried about something for so long and its gone then you automatically find something else to fill the void. I also end up projecting my general feelings of life stress etc onto specific things to worry about.
Hope you are both ok Fiona and livethedream.

I was having CBT but I'm currently waiting for someone to be able to take the sessions again (they all keep going on long term sick/leaving) and I wish they'd hurry up about it!

How does the elastic band thing work, is it supposed to hurt and take your mind off it or something?

Hi ladies

Have been a bit AWOL, just seem to be so busy atm.

Hope you have been feeling better Yommy.

Well done on the drive Piggy. How is work going?

Glad it went well with the HV Lola. From my experience they will be involved as much or as little as you allow. I had very little to do with any of my HVs other than the usual home visits and then taking the baby to be weighed every so often. I do remember them doing a 'happiness questionnaire' a few weeks after the birth, where you are able to say how you are feeling. They are there to support you if you need them.

Hope things are ok with your mum choclab.

Welcome Fiona and livethedream

Hi to kildare, pelvic and Armadillo.

Hello ladies,
Very quiet round here - hope that is because everyone is doing so well
I'm ok - had a couple of iffy days - where you get that heavy 'nervous' feeling in the stomach, but I think it's because I've had a couple of social events I've been a bit worried about (got another on Sunday but am going to have to get out of it as not up to that level of socialisation yet).
Hope everyone is well xxx

Hello ladies, im back It wouldnt let me on here again!! Grrr its so annoying. Havent had chance to read all posts yet will do that when ive done my chores Did read the last one though piggy-im struggling with that heavy nervous feeling you describe, ive had a bad few days worrying about that because its always there and i worry im really ill with anxiety and wont get better I also feel im not up to socialisation, i can do chats in the playground at last and small short get togethers with family but nothing more at the moment..thats worrying me too because even though ive always had anxiety ive never felt like this...

Anyway i had a wierd moment in the bath lastnight where i suddenly thought, im nearly 25 years old by the time my little DD2 starts school and i start work properley i will be 28 i HAVE to get a grip and sort this out otherwise it will be like this for the rest of my life. I thought to myself that i will just get out there and do normal things, feel the fear and SO WHAT. Nothing will happen to me i know that, its only a physical feeling brought on by my thoughts of "oh god..its happening again..im going to panic..i will faint.." Blah blah blah. I got up this morning feeling great without nerves, no nerves at all before school run, during or after. Have to keep thinking like this. Im going to tesco later and may nip to that big shopping mall seeing as i can do that now

Parents eve went well, i took my bottle of icy water and sat through the first 15 minutes quite panicky but nothing too bad. Then we had to go look at the classrooms and i felt all wobbly and unreal...but once we got back to our seats the panic was gone and i felt normal I also went to sports day and again felt wobbly for the first 15 mins or so and then ok until the end. I have another parents meeting next week and am going with my head held high, regardless of how i feel

I hope ive helped someone else feel positive this morning!

Choc how are you? Blissa, yommmy, pelvic, lola and everyone else i hope you are all ok. Welcome to the new posters! This is a great supportive thread!

Am off to catch up with the posts i missed!

Hi Neverenough!
That's fantastic news about the parents evening! You must feel so proud and motivated! I always feel good after I've managed to do things like that.
I'm 25 now and I've had a bad anxiety patch before - when I was about 19/20 (it wasn't as bad as this one - though maybe that is rose-tinted glasses) and now I'm getting better I've realised that it doesn't last forever - it just takes a bit of looking after yourself and being kind to yourself and letting the good days rack up without worrying about blips. I think I'm just one of those people who when lots of things are happening in my life that's when the anxiety comes out.
I didn't do any socialising a few months ago, but I've gradually built it up. This event is a dinner round at some neighbours and I am not good with eating meals in front of other people - won't have dinner with MIL etc. It's an Indian couple who are so lovely and nice but I'm so worried about this event as I get ibs and am not keen on spicy/rich foods (am a bit funny about food anyway - get anxious about trying new things - God I sound ridiculous!) and I know I won't eat very much and then will feel awful about not eating very much and them thinking I'm rude and ignorant etc etc. You know how it goes! So I think I'm going to give it a miss as I want to visit my parents straight after work on Sunday anyway. DP and another neighbour are going to the dinner so do you think it will be ok if I go round wth some flowers and explain that I can't make it?
Phew, what a rant that turned into! xxx

Thanks piggy you are so like me

I think taking some flowers and explaining you cant make it is nice. I think we worry about looking rude or ignorant when really its no big deal! I get so wrapped up in guilt and shame sometimes and then DH points out that i have made the situation massive in my head and blown it out of proportion when really no-one else has noticed or is bothered much by it! I would take flowers too and apologise for not being able to make it, im sure they wont mind.

You are right, focus on the good days and let the blips pass...must keep repeating to myself

Hello-I'm new to Mumsnet but have been reading through this section and hope it's ok to join in.I have suffered from panic attacks for quite some time.It started off years ago,out of the blue, but triggered by a long haul flight.
For ages I thought the panic attacks were due to my fear of flying but since I made the decision to stop flying altogether last year I am now having the same symptoms around other events.
I completely understand when some of you say it is now 'fear of the fear' that is the main problem.

My husband can't understand the problem at all as he has never had a panic attack or been acutely anxious and thinks I have to have something to worry about but the opposite is true....I desperately want to go back to how I used to feel and be able to relax and enjoy my every day life.

Sorry, this has turned into a bit of a ramble but I just wanted to say hello

Hi miniadventure. its rubbish isnt it? Have you read self help for your nerves by claire weekes? I would recommend that book it has really helped me.

I too want to enjoy life again, anxiety/nerves is so awful. Come here for a ramble any time!

Hope everyone is ok this morning

Hiya! I did read one of the Claire Weekes books some time aago and I found that a lot of the tips were very useful.
I find that on a good day I can read info and take it all in and in the acute anxiety stage I can't seem to concentrate at all to read.
My GP has suggested an antidep( Citalopram ) but I am really reluctant to take those.I've had some CBT and hypnotherapy and tried most things.

Hi neverenough and miniadventure,
I second that Claire Weekes book too. I also did lots of searches on google about symptoms of anxiety and panic as it was the strange symptoms that were worrying me and making me more anxious. There's a good website called nomorepanic which has forums that I found helpful too.

I had an awful night last night, anxious about the neighbour thing (still haven't been round), fell out with dp about it and got really teary and upset and had a few mini-panics (anyone had these? - I get like a rush of adrenalin in my tummy and it flips and feels like it's the start of a panic attack). But managed to get to sleep anyway and feeling a bit better. Must drop round to neighbours today and then I'm meeting a friend for drinks in town this afternoon.

How is everyone else? xx

UPDATE!!!!!!
Have just seen neighbour and given her flowers and made my excuses. Crikey I feel better after that but am a little bit shaky! How crazy are we to make ourselves feel like this!?

ps mini I hate flying too (think Yommy on here does too). I had an awful panic attack on one flight that lasted the whole flight and I swore I would never ever get on a flight again. Then a couple of years later I was going to East Germany for my year abroad and I really had to. Going was fine, but coming back (for xmas) was horrific - I thought I was going to pass out. Haven't got on a plane since that one and ended up getting the train all the way back from North-East England to Germany then again on the return trip. Nasty. Anyway, ramble over! Becoming a slight issue now as dp wants to go somewhere exotic for honeymoon - I suggested interrailing

Well done piggy im glad for you that you have done it and got it out of the way! Phew, next problem! Haha, always the way with me. I spend weeks worrying about one event, get it out of the way then on to the next one Its no wonder we are in the state we are in, our brains must be exhausted from all the thinking/worrying!

Mini im reluctant to take the anti d's too because the doc said my symptoms will get worse for a few weeks before it kicks in. If they got worse than this i wouldnt be able to function and thats not an option with 2 small DC..Plus coming off them causes symptoms as well doesnt it? I wcould see myself going right back to square one panicking about those symptoms!

Piggy im having the mini panics you describe a lot of the time now. Before i started taking propanolol i had big panics, havent had them for a few months thanks to propanolol but seem to be starting to get these mini ones a lot of the time now...body doesn't know wether its coming or going probably! I actually think my body doesn't know how to be calm and function without panic!

Your panic on the plane sounds hideous..i love flying but dont feel well enough for that just yet. Bloody joy, i hate this anxiety.

I had an anxiety free day yesterday!! But for some reason last night i kept having those mini panics, i felt "on the edge" all night and struggled to get to sleep. I really dont know wether im getting better or worse! I did tesco absolutely fine, seem to be able to go shopping completely panic free when i have never been able to before, but now seem to suffer badly at home when home was always my safe place iykwim? Anyone any ideas what might be going on with me?! I have no clue! Im sat here trambling yet looking forward to going to nursery to chat with the mums?? Very unlike me to look forward to that! But im shaking?! Im wondering wether to go to the GP and see about some tests to rule out thyroid problem..been putting it off for ages. Seem to have quite a few symptoms...