Fighting Our Way Back Up - the depression list thread!

[MathsMadMummy]

Thanks to ToccataAndFudge for the name

Right, so this is where those of us with depression can write our lists of daily achievements!

...hopefully tomorrow's list will be better than today's...

BTW Any London/SE ladies or anyone who wants to come down for day etc, CAT me or email servalan 73 at googlemail dot com and I'll try to organise something.

Ds2's birthday party is being held in Dulwich on 17 April if anyone's around, all welcome and booze will be provided for adults

BBL, how lovely of your DS1

Allegrageller, interesting, what you said about PND and a lack of a role model when becoming a mother. I've been broody for a good few years, DH and I have been TTC for almost a year now, and I worry terribly about my abilities of being a mum, particularly surrounding having a girl. Mum and I are not at all close, it's taken a long time for me to understand that she is actually quite a cold person and is this way with everyone, not just me. My concern surrounding having a girl is that I won't know how to 'be' with her, I don't feel this about having boys - irrational I know!

Hello to all the newbies I've only just found the thread too.

I'm sat in bed online, got up to make hubby and me a cuppa (I put last nights washing up away whilst the kettle was boiling) and brought the tea back to bed, had a chat drank our tea and thought I would catch up with MN. He's up and about now, I will be shortly but I'll probably hide out here for a while...

I've been ironing. Should I be getting electric shocks in my fingers tips?? Doesn't seem right.

Claire, please don't worry about how you'll be as a mum. Maybe having the bad relationship with your own mother will help you be aware of it IYSWIM? Breaking the cycle and all that.

My DH's mum was abusive but he's an awesome dad.

Have played on the computer with DD (made a few pictures) and fed the kids, not a proper meal but bits and pieces. Food's food though!

I've just done all my ironing (well all the stuff that was piled in the corner - I'll have loads more to do once I've got through the backlog of washing).

Will get the DS's to do the socks later

Amazingly one week into the school holidays all their uniform is clean, dried and ironed.

Still feel shite though

hey

have just tried to join the fb page - couldnt send a message - am a bit confused - my initials are HC though ...

ahh - that's who you are. Just saw the group confirmation thing and wondered who you were - will accept you now

ahhh - well I would but I seem to have been demoted from admin

Hello Duritzfan

BeckyBendyLegs - that is sooo sweet of DS1! I sometimes get a heaped bowl of rice krispies from DS1 (4) which involves hovering and sweeping the rest of the packet from various places Oh, and you shouldn?t be getting shocks in your fingers, I?d get a new iron!
Zoned out - hope your eye feels better soon - I had conjunctivitis that kept coming back for a while and until you have it I think it?s hard to understand how awful it is - my eye felt constantly like it had a cup full of sand in it!
MMM - Bowling sounds great! Wish I had some friends to go with but TBH would struggle abit to go. @ no chocolate. We are still knee deep in easter eggs!
Blimey Toccata - you are doing fab! A pari of socks in the house are like gold dust - I wear odd as standard Managed with DH to put a weeks worth of washing away the other day (never iron but I will (honest!) once I get my steam press a few days ago, but it?s mounting again, so is the dirty washing (which I don?t mind doing but hate sorting it into piles- DH always merges them).

So, as for me today - got up, dressed me and the boys (no mean feat!) and went for a midwife appointment (and was actually early getting to my mums and pretty much on time for my appointment! ) and then took the boys to the park. Just got back so am justifying a nice sit down until DH gets home

My day started out ok and has progressively got worse. Made it ontime to my interveiw then I went for coffee got lost and missed the train to get ds from nursery. So he was 30 mins late to his other nursery but all the kids had left to go on a field trip so he is now home with me.

Went to get my medication from the chemist which I hate as its on weekly dispense and managed to drop it in the middle of the busy road. Went to the gp's to pick up my sick line to find out that it expired yesterday not today and I now need to call the gp to sort it all out.

So instead of being able to hide in the house till 5pm I am now being subjected to ds's version of toy story.

oh god how bloody mortifying, it's a bloody pigsty and filthy here right now. I could have SWORN on the phone yesterday we agreed 3pm Thursday for the inspection.........but no she had it down as 3pm TODAY and turned up a little while ago to do it.

Thankfully I had been out of the shower for 1/2hr and had literally just got dressed, I was in the middle of drying my hair

Ah no TF, did the inspection go ok in the end?

went ok - but of course I hadn't moved my fag tray from next to the computer.

I haven't actually yet got permission to smoke in the house (wasn't "no smoking" but also supposed to have got his written permission according to the tenancy agreement)) but have been feeling so shite been smoking in here instead of outside

She asked if the landlord had said it was ok to smoke in here and I said yes. If I said no I'd have been in the shit there and then.

I'm just going to have to hope that if it gets back to the landlord I can plead innocence.........the letting agent when she showed me round told me I didn't need to put my cigarette out when she let me in (but I did).

If I get into trouble I'll just have to promise to drag my sorry arse outside and then pay for any cleaning that needs to be done

TF I am sure it should be ok.

he seems a decent bloke (LL) so hopefully will.

Hello, can I join please?

I'm not up to FLY/slattern/listmakers yet, and I'm floundering.

My depression has crept up on me, I've become gradually paralysed by it and I'm quite often stuck in the house trying to clean up, thinking that if I do that, everything will flow from there. Actually, once I did sort the house out totally and I was like "Oh crap what the hell do I do now, my life is an empty shell, I'm lost in the sea of existence" etc.

DH has basically insisted that we have to have a cleaner because I am not coping (not in a nasty way, more in a "right what can we do to sort this situation out" way) However, I'm dreading having a stranger in my home, and have the deadline of Monday to get things into such a situation that someone could come in and look round without me hyperventilating.

What I've done today - got up with DS and went down to do breakfast right away instead of letting him watch TV in bed next to me because I couldn't get up. Big big thing.

Rang library and renewed books due back today so no charges accruing due to inability to go to library.

Cleaned kitchen a bit. Played with DS, did drawing and messing about playing pirate ships on the bed. Fed him healthy food and snacks. Laughed and giggled with him.

Hello. hope no-one minds me joining in on this thread. Feel a bit of a fraud as am generally successful recovered depressive (have been off ADs since November and am generally OK) but am having a bit of a blip at the moment and finding it hard to motivate myself.

Have tried to join the fb group - my initials are KT and I am one of your friends Toccata

I have been on a cleaning spree for the last hour, have finally finished the 4 bathrooms and have made ds's tea for him and put laundry on.

do I bath the Ds's........who haevn't had a bath for what feels like months (it's not that long - probably a week or so ) or get the dining room looking half respectable for my meeting tonight?

It's with friends (but church stuff), and I know they won't mind if they see it like this.........BUT right now all I want to do is call up and cancel the meeting as the room is in such a state I can't bear the thought of them coming in.

hello both of you

Sleepytime I know what you mean about a cleaner, DH said we could work out a way to afford it, but no way. Actually he does more than his fair share of housework, he works a 50hr week, cooks dinner most nights.

A lot of it is the house getting me down I think. I'm not saying I'll be totally better if it was sorted, but we recently cancelled a holiday with my parents to try and sort stuff out. It's a shame, but it's DH's only week off for months and the idea of coming back to the same shit and DH going back to work again made me panic

Hello, just been catching up with everyone before I make a start on our dinner, and wanted to say I'm so pleased this thread was started (thankyou MMM) being able to read that others struggle with the day to day stuff too is making me feel better - obviously it would be great if all of us didn't struggle, but ykwim.

Will be back later to update my day.

ok - have decided to do the boys bath first thing in the morning and try and get in here sorted instead........can't cancel the meeting (otherwise I could imagine them all turning up anyhow and helping me sort it instead of doing the meeting ) and I also can't bear the thought of them seeing it like this...........(as they would probably do the same thing.......)

TF could you put some music on and get the boys to help? Do it in 5 mins bursts that way you dont completely exhaust yourself?

I would - but I'm still waiting for DS2 to finish eating his dinner........and I'm not sure I'll get it anywhere near respectable with 5 minute bursts............

Ok, what is the worst bits do that, or do what i do and move the clutter to another room for tonight then you can work on sorting it tomorrow