Fighting Our Way Back Up - the depression list thread!

[MathsMadMummy]

Thanks to ToccataAndFudge for the name

Right, so this is where those of us with depression can write our lists of daily achievements!

...hopefully tomorrow's list will be better than today's...

Of course caroljo .

I am jealous of all you guys who get to online food shopping I have to food shopping at least 2 if not 3 supermarkets drives me mad but oh well

Thank you for the welcomes

MMM, it's nice to hear you have a very supportive DH too, I'm sure I would've remained in that 'bleak' place if I hadn't of met mine. We've known each other for 9 years, been together for 7 and married for, just coming up to 4 years.

I don't do online food shopping (yet) and class a trip to the supermarket as a real accomplishment. I do, however, like to clothes shop online, this saves me hours of trudging round the shops looking for the 'one' top that I'm after - instead I spend hours online All in all the internet has been a real life saver for me, and enabled me to remain in contact through email with people I may have drifted away from otherwise. I feel the same way about texting, doesn't matter how I'm feeling I can still type a few words if I need to (ok, sometimes if I'm really feeling bad I just ignore my phone).

I've been quite productive over the weekend, I've washed all the covers off the sofa, as well as the cushion covers and blankets - I feel good about this The oven really needs a clean and the kitchen cupboards need cleaning out, but I don't feel quite up to that yet. Think I'll enjoy the satisfaction of the sofa for a few days first!.

Again sorry, my posts seem to be long, I think it's because I feel that I can talk openly here about things that others may think a bit odd/strange or just not 'get', iyswim.

Managed to get both DCs down for a nap and got some things off my to do list done! Mostly the less important easy ones, got important ones that need doing, but still quite pleased with myself.

DS has just woken up and DD might soon too, still need to do the ASDA.com shop but I don't mind that, it's quite fun... [weirdo emoticon]

I'm wondering too about clothes shopping online. no way can I do it with the kids. don't really want to buy new clothes as I need to lose weight, but nothing fits! everything's either too big or too small!

I have made it back from counseling not something I enjoyed spent most of the hour talking about my parents

I am hiding out on here instead of talking to them, pathetic I know but it gets the job done.

i'm back! meant to pop back in the morning but just haven't had the chance with my 2 non-stop boys...

my day started terribly (i tend to find mornings one of the hardest times of the day) but i actually went on to have not too bad a day... went to the park with a friend (one of the 2 i have who actually 'gets' depression) who has two dc's the same age as mine and we both have dogs so playdates all round!

it all started to go wrong when my mum came over. she is not very supportive. critical in fact. i ended up in floods of tears. she called me stupid and pathetic. in front of my boys . my 4year old ds1 piped up with 'no actually my mummy isn't stupid and pathetic'

need to get back to bathtime. just struggling to stop the tears. i feel so lonely.

zonedout I'm so sorry your mum isn't supportive and said such horrible things to you. And well done to your DS for standing up for you. He obviously thinks you are a good mum!!

We've had a good day overall. Tomorrow's target: getting DS1 and DS2 haircuts and new shoes for DS2.

ZonedOut, I know exactly how you feeling because my mum does the same to me.

My challenge for tomorrow is to get me and ds up dressed, breakfast, ds to nursery, me to job interview via a train journey and find the place I am going.

oh zonedout how horrible of your mum! but well done to your DS, that is so sweet of him.

good luck for tomorrow LittleMarshmallow!

my afternoon hasn't been so great. got a few things done though, which is an improvement. it's the worst time for me, after DD wakes up from her nap, I'm exhausted and just want DH to get home. counting down the minutes.

I have achieved more in the last hour than in the entire day, have finished dying my hair and found clothes to wear tomorrow, also found clean clothes for ds and made his lunch for nursery tomorrow.

well done LM

crikey seashore, that's horrible of your mum. my DHs mum will never set eyes on our DCs as she was so abusive (i.e. should be in prison) - DH's exW lets her see his older kids though, it really hurts him

my parents wind me up a lot but they love me dearly and I'm lucky for that.

quite chuffed, just phoned my OU tutor to say I'm struggling (with time, the actual work is easy ATM) which was one of those things I'd been putting off and getting all worked up about. my mum read a book called 'eat that frog' where you have to the scariest thing first. I hate self-help books but I like the saying!

anyway, she did think I was pregnant rather than 7mths post-birth - but when she asked what my score was on the first assignment, and I told her, she said "oh YOU'RE the one with 100%" which cheered me right up!

Thats really good MMM. What are you studying at OU?

Hi everyone - been lurking on here for a few days. You all sound lovely - can I join you?
Is this thread for PND sufferers only, or can people with 'normal' depression hop on too?
Feel like I'm losing the plot a bit and am so disappointed with myself as I thought I'd sorted out my depression and lack of confidence - guess not
Allegrageller - I'm in London and would love to meet up if you want to it's difficult to find people to talk to who know what depression is like and who 'get' it, so am here if you need some RL support.

Evening, I'm another with a difficult relationship with my mother, and father too actually.

Had an ok day today if a little quiet, managed a bath and hairwash, lunch and dinner made and I'm all washed up now too. Just got trash on the tv in the background whilst DH and I both sit on the sofa interneting (he has forums of interest to him too).

Not sure how tomorrow will pan out yet, DH and I are musicians and need to do some rehearsing before the weekend, so that will probably take priority. I need to get to the supermarket, but could maybe stretch out what we've got in until Thursday. I need to vacuum too...

Hi ladies

Can I join you ? this is a fantastic idea .. I have suffered with depression since I was 17 ..
had horrendous ptsd after a scary delivery with ds1 and have been climbing back up ever since .. (he's 14 now

I'm in quite a good place at the moment but am really a bit nervous as am pregnant and getting scared about what that will mean for my depression post birth ..
anyway, if its ok, Id love to join you .. I lurk on a lot of MH threads but have never had the courage to jump in and introduce myself,
I'm also on FB a lot ...far too much actually ...

Hello everyone (newbies too!)

DS1 (he is six) has just made me breakfast and the butter and jam is very heavily plonked in the middle of my toast. So sweet of him though (I was changing DS3's nappy and he decided I needed my breakfast).

The sun is shining today so that is good. We're going for a family haircut later but I would like to do some housecleaning first if I can. House is a tip. Mountain of ironing too. I hate housework and it gets me down as it is so continuous.

I think our parents have a lot to answer for even if they don't intentionally hurt us (in my case I feel as I now get on really well with my mum, dad and stepmum).

Anyway, better go, DS3 is niggling and needs someone to play with him.

hello tigerbear - all are welcome here, not just PND. I had 'normal' depression in my teens as well.

welcome duritzfan as well! wow, must've been a really scary delivery to cause PTSD did you have therapy to help?

this link should work to the FB group, I can't remember if you have to request to join, if you do just put your MN nickname in the message, or if you're adding us as FB friends or whatever

thanks everyone for your kind words. seashore your words made me sob my heart out. i guess because i so don't believe those things about myself. sadly i don't have a supportive dh either. things are very very bad there. things feel like such a mess.

to top it all off i have woken up today with a massively swollen red eye... a recurring conjunctivitis type thing i get as a result of my psoriatic arthritis

welcome to my fellow new additions. must go and sort porridge for the boys.

I'm happy to have you guys as FB friends too (my initials are RC in the group - with picture of spotty DS3 as my profile!).

I'm so glad I found this thread and the FB group. I can't imagine getting through tough times without mumsnet. It has helped me so much.

didn't really get anything done yesterday - and had an early night (for me)

ONly just got up off the sofa.

Would quite happily curl back up on there now, but can't.

Have a meeting here tonight so need to at least sort the dining room out.

And of course tomorrow I need to have all of the house looking at least half respectable.

hi ladies, message from memoo

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/942635-MESSAGE-FROM-MEMOO-SHE-39-S-OK-BUT-AWAY-FROM

morning all!

So lovely to see loads of newbies on here, this is such an active thread!

zonedout so sorry to hear your mum saying those awful things to you. Yes, keep telling yourself how wrong she clearly is- and how sweet of your little ds! His opinion is of course what matters, who else is equipped to judge whether you're a great mum

I've also noticed how much we lack support from our mothers on here. Mine also undermines me. Constantly bangs on about how I should never have left H- even though he has repeatedly called me a bad mother and basically left me to top myself when I ended up in a respite centre in June....I just couldn't talk to anyone who treated my kid like that, but when she comes to London her and my dad always go round to his for coffee!!!

They do say having a poor relationship with your family and particularly mother is a big marker for PND and all sorts of depression- such a struggle for us to feel like good mothers,when we don't have a model for it and we have to start again all by ourselves...

tigerbear I would love to meet up in London! I am in SE. I promise you I am not this miserable in person and my boys are great.

They are coming back to me this morning after 3 days with dad. So excited.

Tocc any news from useless H?

xxall

so tired today, was invited bowling with a few mum friends, sounds great fun but was just so tired. didn't want to get out of bed, might just take the laptop upstairs tomorrow morning so DD can watch a DVD while I sleep. although we actually have to go out tomorrow, dammit.

got Asda delivery in the next 2hrs but kicking myself for not ordering chocolate. what was I thinking?!

oh - yes thanks for posting that on here Lulu

Alle - not a word from him at all

Really need to get on - have put through another load of washing (that was still sat in the machine already having been washed but left long enough to smell)

But that's it.