Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

Could we have a support thread for those who have manic depressive illness / bipolar disorder?

185 replies

electra · 24/08/2009 21:47

I don't see it talked about much here but it is quite common - I can't believe there are not other Mners who have it? Even if you name change it would help to hear how you manage your lives with it, etc.

I take medication, having had times where I didn't want to /self-medicated with alcohol etc....I find that it helps but I do still have relapses and after dd3 was born had to go into hospital for a month because sleep disrupted nights and stress with family made me get unwell.

All in all I find it exhausting to live with as well as frustrating.

OP posts:
Original poster
electra · 02/09/2009 00:09

mummylin - I have found reading your posts very helpful and I thank you for your contributions...please continue to post if you don't mind and feel that you would have anything to add...

OP posts:
PurpleOne · 02/09/2009 02:04

mummylin, please keep posting...

Am amazed how someone else mentioned the drugs too.
Was a major pot head in my teens, did a bit of speed. And some coke later on. But the acid did my head in.

Should have really been at the open hours doc surgery this morning but over slept. FFS I can't even get out of poxy bed
It was only my first pg at 21 that kicked all this right off.

Just checking in. the cat has cost me a fortune today. The SS have been round. Still not feeling very well.
This 40mg has to stop.....Felt better without them.

Ayup · 02/09/2009 08:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummylin2495 · 02/09/2009 17:41

ok !!! i am out tonight over my dd,s but if not to late home ,i will post then.

PurpleOne · 02/09/2009 19:34

I didn't take my meds last night and still feeling like a sack of crap.
There's so many things I need to be doing - but haven't bothered doing anything at all.
5 days worth of washing up sitting there.
Not bathed in a week.

Didn't wake up til 3pm. I HAVE to get and see my keyworker tomorrow. I just hope I can get out of bed.

Original poster
electra · 02/09/2009 23:23

PurpleOne - I am worried about you, I hope you are ok - please see your keyworker. Maybe you are not on the right medication?

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 03/09/2009 00:00

hello.purpleone it seems you are having a really tough time ,but you need to get proper help as soon as possible.Do make yourself get to se your keyworker tomorrow as someone needs to know how awful you are feeling and she will direct you in the right direction.Please dont hesitate about this.Will ckeck in more tomorrow ,i have only just come back from my dd,s house and so i expect you are in bed now.

mrspuffshat · 03/09/2009 19:12

Sorry have been away with the pixies for last few days. Just caught up with all the posts. I have been really awful the last few days. I knew it was coming and managed to warn everyone in the house this time. I just felt I need to sleep or ignore everyone. Feeling a lot better tonight. I have caught up with a few jobs and feel quite 'normal' whatever that is. Maybe a bit hyper and pacing around. Hope it lasts a few days! I hope those of you struggling can get some help from friends, relatives or medical staff. It really helps just to write on here sometimes. You are not alone. x

Skipsmum · 03/09/2009 19:54

Can I join this thread? I was diagnosed BP a few weeks ago after spending half the summer holidays in hospital. Its a real shock for me, although perhaps not for my family.
Im finding all the different tablets very confusing, and im still a complete mess but dh is fantastic and very supportive.

Original poster
electra · 03/09/2009 21:46

Skipsmum - of course, I am glad people are posting - at first I thought nobody would! I hope it will help us have a place where we can come and just let stuff out. I am so glad though that you have a supportive dh...

mrspuffshat - I am sorry you feel bad. I also haven't been feeling great. Last night I did not sleep at all. Tomorrow I am seeing my CPN! Hope I can sort something out...

I don't know if any of you have found the same but for me I have realised that there seems to be a stigma attached to having bipolar disorder and that is another aspect of having it that is difficult to deal with. Today dd2 went back to school and a member of staff who I don't know at all well came up to me and said 'are......you.......well?' I am sure everyone talked about when I was in hospital and I'm viewed with some caution.

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 03/09/2009 21:56

hello everyone ,electra i think that people view mental illness of any sort with suspicion.Its because they dont understand it.If you have a broken leg ,they can see its in plaster but what can they see when they look for mental illness ,nothing ! And unless they have dealt with it in their family or friends ,they just dont know what to do.Until people realise its an illness,and it is talked about a lot more ,i personally think this will stay the same.None of you should be made to feel bad,you have an illness ,you are having treatment .one day you will be well again.As if things arent hard enough for you.Its basically that most of us need more education and it should be more out i the open.Why should any of you be ashamed.Its terrible and i really feel for you all.If i hadnt read up on bi-polar because i wanted to help my sister ,i would not of known half what i know now.

mrspuffshat · 04/09/2009 20:43

Electra,
I think that there is a lot of stigma still attatched to having a mental illness. I have found most friends supportive but most had no idea what bi-polar is at all. One mum at the school found out (didn't want her to) and has been really weird with me. Like I am going to kidnap her kids of start dribbling even though before she knew she let her kids have play dates and sleep overs with mine! That really annoys me as I have NEVER put my kids or any others in danger. It is my problem and I know when to lay low etc. My family have been ok and knew there had been problems when I was growing up but my mum still thinks I could sort it all out by calming down and having a nice cup of tea! Most original offers of help looking after the kids etc have dried up now the novelty has worn off and I appear to be 'normal'. Fine at work as I work in a hospital and they are very aware of mental illness (I think the whole lot of us have some sort of stress or depression). My husband seems to have totally got fed up with my changes in mood lately. I have been married 3 times now so hope things work out :0(

mummylin2495 · 04/09/2009 22:16

hello mrspuff sorry that your mum thinks you can be "cured" just like that ,but from her point of view it is a very very difficult illness to understand ,indeed i expect to many people it is frightening.It needs to be more out in the open and discussed freely,then maybe anyone who has this type of illness would not be feeling ashamed frightened to tell people,which cannot help with their overall wellbeing im sure.Until my sister got diagnosed and i actually saw waht happened to her i didnt understand it either.But now i understand a lot more and know the reasons that certain things happened and why she did certain things,it makes it easier to cope with when you know these things.

mrspuffshat · 05/09/2009 09:51

mummylin, thanks for you message. Your sister is very lucky to have your support. It is good to know there are people like you out there

mummylin2495 · 05/09/2009 10:36

i am the lucky one ,in that she trusted me enough to let me help her through it all.Some things i really wished i hadnt heard ,but she had to get them all out to someone.It was a very rocky time but now she has been fine for the last couple of years.Today she is moving into a new flat with her new boyfriend who is 25 ! she is 47.But she and he seem very happy and its her choice,i just hope it dosent go tits up and makes her go backward.But for now,they seem happy ,but i dont know how he would cope wit her if she gets ill again.Still i wont think about that for now,i will worry when and if it happens.

mummylin2495 · 06/09/2009 19:33

i do hope you are all ok and not feeling too down this weekend.

PurpleOne · 07/09/2009 01:11

sorry ive not checked in. went to hospial today. they wanted to admit me overninght, but thanks to my wonder ful helpful ex, he refused to have the kids and i got sent home with a coupe of valium.

the help was there on a fucking plate, a bed, a sedative and a chat with an on call psych. it was the mental health asessment team that told me to stay in. and my darling beautiful ex took it all way from me.

scuse typos, valllie is kicking in and i should be off to bed...cant help feeling so fuckig dissapointed and let down. the help was right there under my nose, and my ex stopped it all from happenening....so now i have to wait for an urgent appt with cmht and god knows when thats going to happen.
there is noone else to help with the kids, my mother doesnt care and she wiped me out of her life 2 yrs ago. my dad was weak and took her side. my bst mate fucked me off a year ago when i told her i had probs with drink, the kids and my head...she said i was a selfish bitch.

just feeling so let down right now and i hate everything. i might go out and buy a huge stash pf paracetamols (cos i threw the others out) get pissed and take the fucking lot.....cos nobody cares about me in rl. the ex is all i have to call on, and he took it all away from me.

mummylin2495 · 07/09/2009 10:47

purpleone please dont go and buy anymore tablets,im sure you dont want your children to have problems in later life.You are not alone ,we are all here to talk to you ,i am so sorry that the ex is such an arsehole.You can eventually have such a good life ,you just have to get through this awful time ,and you will.Im afraid i dont understand mums who dont stick by their child for whatever reason ,my own dd has been through a bad time this past year,and i would never or will never not be there for her.I am now a grandmother of three,and my family are the most important thing in my life. Please know that i will be here to listen to you when you arefeling so low and i hope that your apt comes through very quickly so you can get the help that you need.Wha are do you live [ just loosely ]

Rones · 07/09/2009 13:04

Hello all - purpleone I'm so sorry to hear about your situation and I can understand why you are feeling the way you do but harming yourself can never be the answer especially not for your children - they will never be better off without you. However, I can totally see how abandonned and helpless you feel - I hope you can get some help soon, at least on a practical level.

I've had some very majour lows recently but I'm still just about carrying on... went to see the doctor today and was given 20g citalopram - I've never taken this AD before so we'll see.... It's been receommended previously that I take a mood stabiliser but my doctor was hesitant to do that without me see the psychiatrist again first. I'll go and see the one I saw before using my health insurance (I get it through work) but at £250 for an hour, I think it's outrageous! Anyway, hopefully he will be able to shed some more light on whether or not I have some form of bi-polar.

To all of you with more than 1 child to look after whilst dealing with illness, I take my hat off to you because I find it so hard just taking care of my (one) dd and that's with a supportive dh.

On a practical level, have you tried massage to give you a bit of relief in low times? I'm actually a trained therapist and the power of treatments is incredible, especially if you can find a good therapist. However, I've found that money is the issue for me as it's usually about £40 a treatment. I'm lucky enough to be able to do a swap with other therapists sometimes... it's worth asking if you can get a discount if you can't afford the full whack...

anyway, how are you all doing?

mummylin2495 · 07/09/2009 16:08

purpleone do let us know that you are ok.rones i am glad that at least you have a supportive dh.Im sure that means a lot to you.

mummylin2495 · 08/09/2009 13:49

purpleone ?

PurpleOne · 08/09/2009 15:44

Had emergency appt at the hospital this morning. The psych told me that under no circs am I to have ore than a weeks worth of ADs.
I went to see Gp this afternoon to pick up the meds. I didn;t think of looking at the script.

I now have a months worth of 20mg ADs and a weeks worth of 5mg Diazepam.
I hope the Valium will quieten my mind enough to get rid of these thoughts, otherwise I really don't know what I'll do.

There;'s mess all over the house. We have no clean plates or cutlery and I just cannot be bothered in clearing it all up. The washing has been in the machine, wet, for nearly 2 weeks growing a fur coat now. Laundry has been on the line for nearly 2 weeks too.

mummylin2495 · 08/09/2009 20:29

oh my god purpleone ,you really do need help dont you.what part of the country are you in ? is there not one friend who you trust that could help you .What about the grandparents on ex,s side of the family,how do you get on with them ?

mummylin2495 · 08/09/2009 20:31

i really think you have to try and get hold of someone to help you out.Im not sure who to suggest,but maybe the doctor again to tell him you are not coping and need some help right now ?

mummylin2495 · 09/09/2009 08:56

purpleone i hope you can arrange for some help today,its plain you clearly need it from somwhere.Dont give up in your quest to get well,you owe it to yourself and your children.