Anyone else struggling with anxiety?

[mooseloose]

I've been off work nearly three months now and am just really fed up with myself now. i've refused any meds but I just cant get over it. I started my counselling last week, and am hopeful she can sort me out. it was caused by by son having an accident, and juggling work etc which just got too much and made me cry.
Id had a lot of panic attacks but they are getting better but now I just feel worried when i go out, and that i want to cry.
Today I just can't breathe. I don't know if i'm worse today because i'm due on too.
I just really feel i've lost my way and lost confidence in myself, and i dont know what to do to get myself back.
I'm all crabby and wound up with people too - no patience.
I think the doctor is fed up with me too and i'm also worried she won't keep giving me sick notes, i'm never usually ill.......

Dp has an old car he used to use so he is going to put new brakes on it and I'll use that, not sure how we'll manage if he has to go out early and I need to get the girls to school, they might have to start their day with a long walk!

How did your cleaning go? I'm back from dds eye test and she doesn't need glasses which is good.

Soungs like your sessions are going well greyskull. Where are you off out to tonight?

I haven't had any counselling Candy, I did ask my Gp about it when I was having panic attacks and was told I wouldn't need it. I'm basically seeing how I go. I hope you start to find your sessions helpful.

xx

hello all.
Sounds like not a good day for you all today... . Sorry xx

I met my friend for a coffee today, not seen her for ages, and had good heart to heart.

Then i had a meeting with HR and my manager. So I worked myself up about that, but not a full panic attack, so that was good.

I was relieved because she is not rushing me. I want to go back well, and confident, and better cos otherwise i think i will drop straight back down again. I hope four more weeks will see an improvement. I said its just horrid to wake up feeling like this. I hate it, it's not me, and its scary. She said she wants me better too. I said i dont wANT TO START BACK AND REGRET IT, SO I NEED TIME. oops sorry caps. I dont know if 4 weeks will make a difference. The last four haven't so far, but i do feel brighter and not so bogged down and helpless with it. I have some good strategies now to help me cope and bring me out of my panics quicker.
I said to counsellor i am making the effort to go out every day but she said shouldnt be an effort xx

greyskull -do you mind me asking what happened to have ptsd?
its ok if you would prefer not to say

what is ptsd? I had just general counselling she was v good set me goals to do each week x Hope everyone is ok x I am still havin a nitemare with dd the consultants seem to be on standby! We have just got all the snow up here today and i slipped over and hurt my back, 2 very nice ladies helped me up and checked me over so that made me think how nice some people can be to strangers- we should remember this if we panic in supermarkets etc, people do want to help x

mummytopebs - are you ok? - yes I find that strangers can be totally lovely, and as such always try to be that good stranger when I see people that need help when I am out and about because I remember that it restores my faith in human nature.

Moose - sounds like a really positive meeting with HR

Blissa - good news that you have access to another car is it far for you to walk with the girls on the days you may need to?

PTSD is post traumatic stress disorder. Candy I don't mind you asking - I was raped when I was 11 and it has always been something of a secret until recently when it has come back and bitten me in the bum so I need to deal with it as it is no longer safely tucked in a box under my virtual bed.

oh grey skull thats awful
sorry you had to go through that
im glad your getting help and maybe some day you can put it to rest.

I'm sorry to hear what you've been through Greyskull, I hope the EMDR helps you to work it through.

The walk to school is probably just under 2 miles, so it's do-able. We'd need to do a practise run to see how long it would take. It would do us good TBH.

Hope everyone is feeling ok today xx

Hi all.
Oh Greyskull, you make me want to cry for you. You are so brave to keep that to yourself all this time. I hope the EMDR (and counselling?) are helping you. You would feel so great and brave and confident if you could sort and deal with it now, and then you can get on with your life like you should be doing . Remember we are always about at some point in the day if you need any 'virtual counselling'. It's easier to talk to strangers isn't it? - although you lot aren't like strangers anymore xx But you know you cansay what you like to us xx

thanks for your kind words ladies,
it is wierd really it wasn't until I got a letter from the psych that I saw at our local hospital, detailing what we had discussed that it really struck me that the life I have experienced is not "average" and that I dont have to just live with it.

Anyway nuff of my waffle. Blissa 2 miles isn't so bad but do you have friends around who could help with lifts if you need them to? Our local council provide school busses if you are more than 1 mile - do you have anything like that near you?

just watching mindless tv with the kids waiting for DH to come home and take over.. I am all done for today. Going to have a bath and an early night if I get my way

hi all
ive had a good day today no anxiety but yesterday afternoon i felt ill with it ,have no idea why
ive been busy today so when im concentrating on other things i tend to be more chilled .
note to self - get busy

hi all, just got up. We went out for meal with friends last night, nice, just got a bit twitchy when i had enough. Feel bit fed up and tearful today but ok.

Ran 8 miles yesterday - but it nearly killed me! Put it down to the virus really. It was so hard - I've done 10 miles before, but then i had two weeks off with the cough and chest virus.

Just heard today i have a place in the Great North Run. Yikes!!!

good for you moose
i cant even run up the stairs
im going to start going swimming when ds goes to playschool after half term.
i need some me time

Hi all happy valentines day!
My family health issues seem to be better altho ds1 decided to get tonsillitis just to complete the week!
have a good day!

i could never run more than 20 seconds without sounding like i was having an asthma attack! Started running up the lane (0.8 I think) in about three goes, until i could do all one way, rest (and pant) and then run back down. Then no stopping, Then I got through the village, and it went like that! Its much much easier to run with someone, else I am thinking 'my knees' 'my breathing' 'my legs' 'I'm knackered!'. Chatting really distracts you! I don't find it easy, and I rarely get that feel good feeling! My friend always thinks its a great achievement if we run further than we planned - I just don't get that at all! the least the better really!

Wow 8 miles moose! Well done. The most I've achieved today is a walk round to the shops. How long is it til the North run? Will be good to have an aim and something to focus on.

I've been thinking the same candy, ds goes to pre-school 2 afternoons a week so I could go for a swim, think I'd only manage a length (if that) at the mo!

Sorry to hear ds is poorly morningsun. Is your dh home yet?

i am sooo fed up today. shaky and want to cry . Crabby with everyone. just want to go to bed.

helllooo anyone about. i dont know what to do with myself . Just need to cry.

Hi moose I'm here xx

i just donyt know why i am like this today. Kids being good. hubby at footie. Just crying now.

Have you been feeling like this all day?

yes woke up fed up, and niggly. maybe i did too much yesterday- was in and out doin things all day, an out at night with a nother couple, late ish night.
Just cross that I have slipped back like this again, thought i was getting better. Its like your head says one thing, but your body does another.
Been in all afternoon, and done nothing. dont know where time has gone. Just want to go to bed and cry.

You haven't slipped back, its just a bad day and tomorrow will be better, that's what I tell myself. Sometimes just accepting that helps as you don't feel frustrated with yourself. You're probably tired which makes things worse. How old are your dcs moose?

You still there?

moose how you doing now?
got to go and put the boys in bed but will be back in about half an hour if you fancy a chat..
we can talk about trash or deep which ever you fancy, just to take your mind off things.

Hey moose hope your ok, here to listen if you want.

Hi Greyskull