Anyone else struggling with anxiety?

[mooseloose]

I've been off work nearly three months now and am just really fed up with myself now. i've refused any meds but I just cant get over it. I started my counselling last week, and am hopeful she can sort me out. it was caused by by son having an accident, and juggling work etc which just got too much and made me cry.
Id had a lot of panic attacks but they are getting better but now I just feel worried when i go out, and that i want to cry.
Today I just can't breathe. I don't know if i'm worse today because i'm due on too.
I just really feel i've lost my way and lost confidence in myself, and i dont know what to do to get myself back.
I'm all crabby and wound up with people too - no patience.
I think the doctor is fed up with me too and i'm also worried she won't keep giving me sick notes, i'm never usually ill.......

Hi Morning - you sound very bouncy today! Seems like the Easter break did us all a bit of good.
camping was fun - went with friends and the children all kept each other busy, and we sat drank coffee and chilled by day, and drank and played cards at night when the little darlings were tucked up (thats when the best nibbles come out!). was really nice. Lovely site in the woods.

hi all
welcome yommy
got my second visit to my counsellor today
dont think she will be able to help me really
been up and down like a yo yo
feeling anxious at odd times nad for no real reason ,like right now although nothing is going on kids are watching a dvd.
i do get the feeling sometimes that this is it for me ,im gonna have to deal with this for the rest of my life and that thought makes me feel very low.
i came of my pill with the thought that maybe that was causing my anxiety but its been 7 weeks now and no real improvement
and i havent had a period either
i just feel life is throwing heaps of shit at me at the moment,when will it end ?

Am off to my docs this morning - lots o intrusive thoughts. The latest being that my lack of periods for the last 12 months must be ovarian cancer. So nothing to do with me being 43, overweight and with a mother and grandmother who went through the menopause at 45 and 38 then .

Did a HAD Score (Hospital Anxiety and Depression Scale) which scored me at 16 - high anxiety. Am going to review meds with my GP today - am on Venlafaxine 75mg but my GP is pushing for reduction as she says that pills are not the answer - I know she's right but it's still scary.

hi jolly
i too worry too much about my health and that of my children
im sure ur period problem is pre menopausal
ask if your gp sergery doe s awell women clinic which might put ur mind at rest.
im on 45mg of mirtazapine and i dont think coming of them is an option anytime soon
let us know how you get on today

Hi girls does anyone feel they can offer advice to idontlikethisperson on "i think i have pure ocd please help" thread in mental health?

Thanks candyfluff - GP has suggested a blood test now but says she is only doing this because it is a premature menopause and so she can discuss if HRT is an option. She's a very thorough GP so I know she doesn't suspect any other problem or she would be testing for that too.

Hi Candypuff,

I am just new to thsi site, but I know exactluy what you are going through! As do all of the girls posting here!

I know exactly waht you mean about the feeling panicky when there is nothing to harm you and I also know what its like to feel that you may have to live with this for the rest of your life - very depressing thought [anrgy]. I first felt anxiety attacks in 2007 when my son was about 8 months old and I was under a lot of pressure at work, etc! Please believe that you will get over this with time and a lot of hard work and positive thinking! I got to the point where I was terrified to leave the house. I am okay now as I have been working on it, forcing myself into situations which I feel uncomfortable and the realisation that I come out at the other end without anything terrible happening is a wonderful feeling of achievement! I am posting now because the anxiety is creeping abck into my life, but after reading a number of the post on this site I am feeling really positive about the whole situation already! I hope this helps, even of it is a bit of a rant!

Keep your chin up, its not always easy but we will all get there!

Hi girls, was beginning to wonder where you'd all gone!

Your camping trip sounds lovely moose, a lovely way to spend the Easter weekend.

Sorry to hear you've been feeling down morning, glad you had a good break too.

Welcome to our club yommymommy, I'm sorry to hear your councelling wasn't helpful. I'm still waiting for a councelling appointment to come through and have been worrying about the sort of councellor I will see.

Do you feel more reassured afetr seeing the gp, Jollypirate?

How was your councelling session today Candy? I'm struggling with health anxiety and it can be debilitating at times. I find myself focusing on one symptom and then can think of nothing else.

I've not been too bad the past few days. I was talking to a friend yesterday who suffers from depression and has had councelling, she thinks it will help me. She has leant me a book called Mind Over Mood. I'm supposed to be going out with her tomorrow night for her birthday, but am a bit wobbly about it. Amongst other things, I find it hard to find something to wear, due to the sexy stockings!

I read something on the PE site I go on yesterday that sort of upset me. Some one posted that we are now living on borrowed time. I don't want to think like that, I'm still here because I'm supposed to be. I've been thinking a lot about what will happen when I come off the Warfain. The thing that scares me the most is leaving my kids.

blissa~you are not on borrowed time,its not a progressive condition or risk like diabetes is it?
Its almost more like an allergy[metaphor wise] you hope it won't come back and its at the back of your mind~I'm sure this will recede the longer time that elapses since you were ill.
I had this allergy for a while with wheals and mouth swelling and carried an epipen~i was edgy for a while but after a few months it began to resolve and i forgot about it then.
Well i'm waffling now blissa am trying to make you feel better not sure its coming out right!
For me personally,because I'm quite sensitive i found counselling difficult as it was going over a trauma i wanted to forget and i didn't want to relive it~depends how you feel when you are talking about it maybe?

hi girls
went to the counselling was feeling very stressed out after dealing with the kids all day ,ds (2) is so demanding and hard work i was glad to have some time for me but i just cried the entire hour i was there
i told her all my fears and we talked through them and she didnt think i was too bad re the health anxiety because it is only when ive had good reason to worry ie when my son broke his arm or more recently my little ds had to be taken to hospital with breathing problems for which they couldnt find a reason.
she said i need to take time for myself which i hardly ever do -lack of family support and all that and with dh working two jobs there is no time for me ,as we all know us mothers are at the bottom of the pile when it comes to rest and relaxation.
has anyone got any ideas of things i could do for myself to help me relax?
that involve me out of the house?
would appreciate any help

I know you are right morning, I am not living on borrowed time, reading it shocked me and for a minute I thought oh my God am I? But I have to tell myself my body just went wrong for some reason and it's unlikely to happen again (fingers crossed). You sound like you went through a similar experience with your allergy, and although I still think about it everyday, it's slowly moving to the back of my mind rather than being all I think about.

Glad your session went well today candy. How old are your dcs? I wanted to find myself some hobbies so I had something to do for myself, so far I have planted some vegetable seeds! I was also thinking of a crafty hobby like knitting, but I still haven't bought a book! How about going swimming?

I haven't made it out for my friends birthday, I just didn't feel up to it and now I feel bad because I've let her down

Blissa!!! Don't go on that website!It's making you worry about things that you hadn't even thought about!! Stay on here please where we talk sense to you ! And you've been goin on about knitting for ages now too!

Candy - my counsellor bangs on about me time too. It's easier for me because me littlest is at school (7) so not so needy. But three boys are argumentative and noisy when they are here! I really enjoy my time in the garden. I help in the school garden too now. I also need to run and walk everyday too - this really makes a HUGE difference. I have noticed now that if I don't I can feel the adrenaline tingling up and down my legs, and I feel a bit stir crazy that i haven't been out. I also have taken on an allotment! Dh moaning cos Doc told me not to take anything new on! But this is for me, and the boys can come up and play too.

Went to hosp Thurs with ds arm. All ok - we go back in six months to check it is growing ok and the growth plate okay. Will not let myself think about it......

Am starting work Tues, just an hour on the first day, i know I am not really ready but my money will stop soon, so think I need to try. have been off 5 months. Am getting shaky and panicky now as the days tick by. I will be here more often for support please girls...... xx

My computer been playing up and I can't log on, so bear with me, seems ok at mo.

Hi Mooseloose,

Sorry to hear you have to go back to work. I have been in the same position as you with work. I ended up taking a few months off on the sick and the though of going back filled me with sheer dread and fear. My job is quite stressful and I was beginning to hate it! In the end I moved to work with a new company and reduced my hours, is this an option for you as it really took some of the pressure off for me! I just took it one day at a time and the anxiety level were going down by the day!

I will hear how it all goes! Good luck!

Candypuff - I suffer for the same issue in that I barly get a minute to myself! My dh works away from home quite a lot and I find myself alone with my two boys a great deal of time! One thing that gets me through is getting them out the house everyday, even if its just for a walk to our local shops to buy the papers! In that time there are usually focused on the things outdoors and not nipping my ears, lol!

I have two very stressful tasks today, have to get my ds new shoes which means a trip into town and they a kids birthday party after! Feeling worked up about it already but need to force myself to go! Wish me luck for a good day!

Hope you are all well! x x x

Morning all

Sending you good luck vibes Yommy, shoe shopping with dcs is not fun. Do you have to stay at the party?

I knew you'd pick me up on my lack of knitting moose . I did look in the library for a book, but there wasn't one. I will get myslef one. I was watching that Kirstie Alsop programmes the other night and wanted to get all crafty!

Dc's are driving me mad already, the downstairs is a mess and I need to go food shopping.

Morning blissa hope you have a good day!
Yommy hope your trip goes well!
Feeling good this morning~my dd is getting back to her usual self a bit now hopefully
see you later guysx

Hi morningsun, glad you're having a good day.

Dp has taken ds out for a couple of hours and dd1 is at dancing so I just have dd2 and my house is peaceful for once. We are playing her ps2 game and mning- good at multitasking me

Hello Again guys,

My day went well and I have that good feeling of satisfaction that I have achieve all I was supposed to today

I was feeling really anxious on my way into town and had that overwhelming feeling of just go home, but made myself continue as I alwasy do! I got into town and got birthday gift for ds friend, but decided that shoes was pushing it at that monent in time. Went to party, but only managed to stay for just over an hour! I couldn;t have left ds as he is only 3 and I didn;t know any of the other adults there well enough! I managed to go back into town and get shoes after wards - ds was very well behaved He ususally is though, bless him! I went to my friends after to relax with a cup of tea so all in all I think its been pretty good!

I hate living like this though! I just want to get back to normal again! I am thinking about going back to see my GP before this gets out of control again!

Anyway, enough about my day! Thanks for all the good luck!

Bliss - hope you enjoyed your chill out time with dd2! What age are all your kids! You are a brave woman! lol!

MS - glad you were feeling good this morning! What was the matter with your dd?

Hope you have all had a good day too! The sun is shining, always lifts the mood no matter what

Glad you've had a good day yommy. I've not really been on here all day lol! Dd1 is 7, Dd2 is 5 and ds is 3. Looking forward to monday now tbh . Today I have managed to plant some tomato seeds and have ordered a beginners cross stitch to try out.

I know what you mean, I hate living like this too. Things that I used to do so easily now come with what ifs and self doubt. If I let it take over I'll never leave the house!

Sun has shone all day here too, definately makes a big difference xx

Sunny here too. Kids driving me nuts. They all have a friend in - 6 boys!
I yelled at the 14 year olds to move out of the house else they will get scurvy. The 9 year olds were yelling anfd bumpimng in bedroom so sent them packing too. They yelling in garden now with the 7 year old. having a burial service for a bee. Good practice for ds7 who wants to be a vicar. He is conducting prayers at mo with holy water (water butt). The other 7 yo went home crying cos he says they were being mean to him.
DH? well he was at footie of course!

Bliss - Feel exactly the same about trying to to let it take over. I am not so bad with leaving the hosue now it just when I get out of my comfort zones I really start to panic! I am just worried that I actually have no control and it will just get as bad as it has been in the past! I will keep fighting though as I would do anything to get my old life back!

ML - sounds like the kids are having a ball! Poor Bee, lol! My 3 year old is terried of bees to the point of freezing on the spot when he sees one, not sure where it has all come from! As much as I hate bees and expecially wasps I try not to show fear infront of the boys! My DH was at the football today too, he is having a few pints now! I on the other had have the chinese ordered, wine chillin' and remote ready for BGT! lol!

Hope you all have a wonderful Sat night! x x x

Just re read some messages - Yommy I only work 18 hours anyway! But will be phased for a month to try and get going. Am jittery thinkin about work.
Blissa - done that cross stitch yet? Hope the pic will be added on your profile page!!!! . (as well as you modelling your stripey knitted jumper, hat and scarf!)

Yommy my dd has a chronic illness that began a year ago when she got very poorly. She's a teen so its been tough for her.

Morning Girls,

MS - I am sorry to hear about your dd that must be very difficult for both of you!

ML - I hope going back to work goes well for you! Try not to think about it for the rest of your time off - easier said than done I know - just take it one day at a time! Goodluck!

How are you all feeling this morning? The sun is shining again so another good day I hope! I am feeling good today, a little tired as my 6 month old still gets up twice a night to feed! lol! Everyone keeps telling me to give him water, but I think its a little cruel! He is a big boy so its not like he would starve! lol!

Is anyone else scared to let themselves get drunk for fear of totally being out of control??? I can manage about 2 glasses of wine and my mind starts to boggle incase I have a PA and can't control it because I am drunk! Is this weird???

I have never actually had a full blown PA, just all the symtoms. I am so glad about that, but am terrified that one day it will develop into one and I won't know what to do! Is anyone else like this??? If anyone has had a full PA, how did you bring yourself back round???

Hope you all have a wonderful day x x x

Yommy hi!I think you are probably preserving yourself by not drinking too much as things get magnified with drink don't they~sounds sensible to me.
Full blown PA symptoms are caused by rapid deep breathing during intense anxiety which then causes carbon dioxide to be breathed out from the body and the symptoms of dizziness,faintness,muscle spasm etc then occur~it is reversed by slowing breathing and by breathing in and out of a PAPER bag which allows the body to then rebreathe the carbon dioxide back into the body.
To prevent that,keep an eye on overbreathing despite feelings of emotion or high anxiety.