Anyone else struggling with anxiety?

[mooseloose]

I've been off work nearly three months now and am just really fed up with myself now. i've refused any meds but I just cant get over it. I started my counselling last week, and am hopeful she can sort me out. it was caused by by son having an accident, and juggling work etc which just got too much and made me cry.
Id had a lot of panic attacks but they are getting better but now I just feel worried when i go out, and that i want to cry.
Today I just can't breathe. I don't know if i'm worse today because i'm due on too.
I just really feel i've lost my way and lost confidence in myself, and i dont know what to do to get myself back.
I'm all crabby and wound up with people too - no patience.
I think the doctor is fed up with me too and i'm also worried she won't keep giving me sick notes, i'm never usually ill.......

Not sure, He's just come home...

hi. What a busy day for you Blissa. I hope you feel a bit more reassured now. Morningsun has done a great job being there for you today - some really sound advice.
In the past I've struggled to breathe and the counsellor gave me A cd with deep relaxation excercises on. The thing that helps me the most (would usually be if I was out and a panic starts)would be 'get your shoulders down'. This sorts my breathing out.
Blissa, i think you are absolutely justified in worrying about yourself, youve had a bad time lately. I'm sure most people would think the same and worry about their niggles.
Dp probably doesn't know what to do because he 'cant see it'- its not like a broken leg which is visible - its in your head. My dh doesnt have a lot of sympathy for me, so I just now dont tell him things. But my mum and dad are better about it, even though mum started with a 'its nothing' attitude, she has got better.
But men are different, they just carry on regardless dont they. They dont have empathy like women do, I don't think anyway.And I think my dh is a bit embarrased about it, like 'it will go away, dont be daft'.
I hope you are a bit more reassured with the ecg being ok. You do need to talk to someone. I had to wait a month at gp, but that was too long and I went private instead, best thing I did. xx

Hi moose
Hi blissa hope you feel well today.Are you allowed to do normal exercise?maybe this could help get to know your body better?
Also was wondering[this is a totally non medical thought btw] if the PE left some residual aches and pains when it cleared.
Maybe you could write down a list of red flag symptoms you act on straight away and a list of very minor feelings that don't worsen that you can ignore?And some in the middle that you see gp about.

Hope your dp is taking care of you.It reminds me a bit of my dd who you may remember was terribly ill almost exactly a year ago coming up,with crohns disease and now she gets quite worked up and scared about things in the night and bottles things up.She is also tearful,and she has always been a happy confident child before this, tho a bit sensitive.Isaid to her the other day,just talk about your fears however small,talk,talk and then talk some more so she can get that reassurance she needs.What has been happening sometimes is she tries to carry on as normal but is cross all the time cos she can't communicate and then she thinks we don't care~i'm not saying you do this but thats her response.

Hi moose and morningsun, thank you for yesterday

I do feel better today, still a bit wobbly and tired though. And I feel like I have a big bubble in my throat, is that an anxiety thing?

I have read from posts on the PE site that lots of people get residual pain from the PEs, although the dr yesterday didn't think that should be the case. I think it may also be a case that I am a lot more aware of how I'm feeling and little niggles I would have previously ignored or not noticed are suddenly life-threatening.

I do talk about how I'm feeling but am starting to feel like people must be tired of it now and that I'm expected to be over it.

Things with dp are a bit better. He made me something to eat last night and we had a cuddle, but nothing was said. I know that he is stressed at the moment, and from talking to his mum yesterday it's not just me he is funny with. He is pushing everyone away but can't see it. It's like he's in denial. Apparently his dad told him yesterday that he needs to change his attitude. I've decided to give him some space. I don't think he's going to leave, but I'm not 100% where I stand.

I think you're right about empathy moose, dp seems to find it impossible to see things from someone elses perspective or to understand how they feel. Maybe I can't expect him to support me how I'd like, but that hurts because if it were him I'd do anything I could to help.

I hope you are boh ok today. I 'm going to try and brave Tesco this afternoon, run out of food!

Sorry about split messages, the gremlins are still playing in my computer xx

Yes cos you're caught between it being a single tho life threatening event and a chronic illness like my dd~as her illness is still ongoing,people who know about it are good about it tho lots of people think she is "better",shes not better iyswim?In your case you've had a frightening life threatening event and you don't know 100% it won't recur so in a way you're better but not better and your mind doesn't know how to react to normal physiological changes.
However i wouldn't be surprised if you could get some mild pain and minor breathlessness,you certainly can with pneumonia for a few months.
On the PE website do they have message boards like they do on the crohns one,for someone to talk to about how they've felt afterwards?

I see a similarity in my experiences with my ds accident,my dds illness in hospital and one of my childbirth experiences,with your PE and mooses ds accident~its as if a line is crossed when you genuinely feel out of control and in fear for your/their life,and thats what causes the trauma.
Normally we go thru life thinking nothing too bad will happen to us,and if it does then drs and others will sort it without any problem,and when it seems a problem actually may not be able to be sorted it sends us into deep panic and upset.Then it takes a period of time to come to terms with it all before moving on.

Bit deep for a tuesday morning but thats how i see it

One of the most difficult things i found after my ds accident was dh being totally unsupportive and uninvolved~tbh i've not properly forgiven him and its 2years now.
My dh had been ill for a couple of years before that and i'd done everything i possibly could for him and then when i got really down and anxious about ds i thought he'd help me make appts etc but he didn't even speak to me !!

You're absolutely right and I think feeling out of control is one of the most scarey things. I want to be able to believe (and this is how dp sees it) that the PE was caused by the Pill and it won't happen again because I've stopped taking it and I'm on the Warfain. But because there isn't a definate cause of my PE yet, I can't move on.

The PE site is full of information from other sufferers. There are discussion and advice boards and you can go on and say I am feeling X at the moment has anyone else experienced this? It good because the drs only give you a minimal amount of info, wheras on the site there are people who really know what it's like to live with it. Like when I was worried about pains in my legs, there are lots of people who have experienced the same, and that reassured me.

Men do seem to deal with things in a different way don't they. They seem to see these events as one offs, it's done with now we move on, where as we seem to dwell on it more and need more support to find closure.

My dp crushed his hand a few years back, not long after I'd had ds. He couldn't do anything, and I was trying to do everything I could with a new baby and to support him through his pain, and help him with the everyday tasks. And now the only time I've really needed him he hasn't been there for me.

I shouldn't be surprised really. When he has a cold I fetch him paracetamol and make him cups of tea. When I'm ill he ignores me and doesn't help with the kids either!

sorry blissa someone came to house and teenage ds was then on pc after school!
to reply to your earlier post,I can understand not dwelling on things but not helping out when help is needed and asked for is selfish and in my case has changed the dynamic of my relationship as i am no longer willing to put dh first anymore,since when the chips were down he didn't help me.
In some ways its a good thing as i do more for myself now.
But at the time i found it hurtful and incomprehensible and it actually contributed to that feeling of being unsafe,as if there were no safety net.

hi girls. blissa I geet that feeling in my throat. ive had it a couple of weeks. Feels like I keep needing to clear it. i know there is nothing wrong really. there is nothing there! i've been to town today, and been ok, so pleased.
Morning I know exactly what you mean about crossing the line. You cant get back then. I have counselling again in two weeks, to prepare me for work (sigh - its gotta be done). But my mum is saying dont go if you aren't ready. dh is saying course you are ready. So I just say nothing. last week i wasn't so good, but ok so far this week. I just think it will be like this for a while still.
ds back at hosp at easter to review and see if he needs another op. I still keep seeing him distressed after op, and my eyes are filling up now. Stupid I know. can't change it and he is ok now.

Blimey the grammar and lack of punctuation in that is dreadful!

well i'm really glad for you your ds is alright now moose but i suppose it goes back to when you thought he wasn't ok and uncertainty about what further treatment he might need,and just distress really at seeing him like that.

Hi all have a good day!Am out for a while back before school pick upxx

Hi all. You're right morningsun, dp is very selfish, but seems to think that the fact he admits it somehow makes it ok . I'm hoping it'll get better. I need to start putting myself first for once, or at least after the dcs but before him, iykwim.

Glad you had a good day yesterday moose. I'm glad your ds is doing ok, fingers crossed he won't need another op.

I've been ok today, been for my blood test and then did a bit of child free shopping- dp had ds. Keep catching myself tensing my shoulders, so am trying to keep them relaxed. MIL has given me a relaxation cd, so I'm going to give that a go

well done Blissa - sopunds like you had a good day - glad the shoulders lessson is working for you! xx

Glad you had good day morning - I have too. Thats two in a row now!

Hi all seems we've all had a nice today,i've felt really happy today too!
Blissa i didn't mean your dp was selfish,i wouldn't be that cheeky!I just felt very let down by my own dh!

blissa -ur dh sounds just like mine
im having a truly awful time at the moment
had a bad reaction to amoxicillin last night and been on the loo all night with the runs -only had 2 hrs sleep and have got god awful heartburn too ,oh and did i meantion a raging tooth infection
how much more can i take

Oh dear candy. Have you got some advice whether to keep takin anti B?

I know what you meant morning . But dp is a selfish and very stubborn sod at times, and I too have felt very let down by him. Sorry to hear you have a similar man Candy. Sounds like we know how to pick 'em!!
How are you feeling? I do hope you start to feel better soon, you've certainly had more than your fair share lately.

Hope you've had another good day moose. xx

I've been a bit better today. Have got a funny pain in the top of my leg and both legs feel very tired today. Am trying to ignore it. Got my INR result today, it was 2, which is the lowest it's been, but the dr doesn't want to test me for another month so he can't be too bothered. Would have liked it to be a bit higher, then I could convince myself more that this pain in my leg isn't a clot. I'm so sick of all these niggles

girls i'm not happy i've just started an AIBU thread

Which one,can't find it??

well it sounds trivial but its not to me iykwim.My dh has lost/thrown away/put in unknown place in attic my late fathers watch which I keep in the kitchen,some time in last 2 or 3 weeks.

Aha found it. It's not trivial, the watch obviously means a lot to you.