Shit. My mum is losing the plot.

[charliecat]

This has been going on for the past year or so, she has a neighbour who when he first moved in, was noisy, keeping her up at night etc and driving her up the wall.
Nwow he is quiet, but she has came COMPLETELY obsessed with him.
Her whole life is about him.
The most extreme example I can give you is one day in her garden , she was pottering, and the neighbour shut his window and left his flat, and in her head he had been watching her, was irritated her so she followed him in her car with intention of running him over.
Now all he had ACTUALLY done was shut his window and left his flat, the rest was imaginary, in her head.
She has just popped by my house, she couldnt ring me because he would hear...shes been racking in his bins.
Ive just rang her best mate, and I said asd long as she doesnt run his over or go to his door and its all in her head its ok.
She said its too late, she went up to his door and tryed to kick it in.
My brother has paranoid schizophrenia. Even when hes ranting saying hes going to kill people they dont section him.
How can I make mum see the irrationalness of all of this?
Hes quiet....because hes listening to her. ARGH
Its not him, its her.

well i think that is the crux she isnt going to help herself by the sounds of it

and from what you say she does need help

it might not require a lot but it definitely needs something

yes. Will report back, am going to mke list before I ring.

God my typing, and my thinking is all over the place, before he rings.

It's so hard. I've written 3 letters to my mums GP that i've never sent. Eventually she hit rock bottom and saw the GP herself and is now on medication which is helping. I discussed it with my own GP who told me they are always greatful for background information. If you don't want her to know that you have called them then they will not tell her, but likewise cannot contact her only wait for her to attend herself.
The sensible thing is speak to the GP and give them permission to contact your mum and tell her that you have called with concerns.
But it's hard to be the one that makes the call.
Good luck charliecat.
(friends of mine once had a lodger who dusted his room with talc, they never found out why, is that a common action of people with paranoia?)

CC you are not about to completely fuck up her life, you are trying to help her.

I rang my neighbours gp recently as she is bi polar and was quite clearly not well again, and no memeber of her family was doing anything about it.

I wanted to get her some help so that she might not need to be sectioned again. I rang her doctors surgery and they were fantastic, and as a result, she was seen by several people within hours and her medication adjusted. She wasn't sectioned.

I think her family guessed that it was me, and I don't think they were impressed that I got invloved, but I am glad i did now.

i think if you speak to the gp and say she wont come in tho how can you get her sen the gp may have ideas

or you could just be very assertive with her and make her go

the gp could maybe ring her and say they would like her to come in re her mediaction for thyroid

tho that is maybe against ethics tho i guess if it could be affecting her i dont see why not

nutty you are very good

Ta Zippi

CC - In my case because |I wasn't family, all they did was take neighbours details and then her gp rang her and asked to speak to her. My neighbour was very verbally abusive to him over the phone and so he knew she was not right and did a home visit. That then got the ball rolling and other professionals got involved.

In your position i'd ring gp and explain your concerns and that you'd like someone to at least ring her, preferably visit her.

She doesn't need to know it was you who rung, and I am sure if you told the gp that, he wouldn't mention it.

It can work if family get involved. We've had several episodes with my mum who got to the stage (mania) of having ot be admitted to hospital (not sleeping, hearing voices etc.). My dad got her to the gp each time - she had no idea anything was wrong. First, she recovered each time (episodes years apart) and second she NOW will take herself to the docs if there's a problem and say I need help, could you sort out my meds. This is a massive step for us and she's been out of hospital now for over 12 years

So getting her into the system is not a bad thing.

Not sure if its common, my brother has killed many a tv/laptop/dvd player with talc though.
Its so he can see finger prints of the people, ya see
Well Done Nutty. I wonder if my mums neighbour has rang anyone concerning my mum, I know the police were involved with the door kicking episode.
Mum didnt tell em about it though, her mate did. So I cant mention a lot of the things I know because then she will know her mate is passing them onto me.

Short of banging my mum over the head and bundling her into the car in a sack I know I couldnt get mums to the gp about this.
Really, as far as she is concerned there isnt an issue

but charlie the gp wont reveal what he knows to your mum

i know my then h wrote to my gp but i dont have much idea what he wrote

( a load of twaddle i suspect)

well best bet is for gp to ring her which if she is taking medicationb is plausoble

or you just tell your mum that you have spoken to the gp

oh fuckety arse, she has just rang me. She wants ME to look in his bin on the way to her house.
She wants to see if hes doing schizophrenic writings, like my bro. I said Hold On a minute, Just Imagine for second he was looking through your bins...HUGE HUGE HUGE big silence.
Then "Id be livid".
Yes exactly I said, Well I wanna know what im dealing with...
I said why what is he doing?
I dont wanna get into it.
Why dont you wanna get into it?
Because I dont want it at the forefront of my mind.
I said but it already is.
She said never mind.
And changed the subject.
She rang me from her mobile.
Its at thins point I think maybe she fucking KNOWS he not doing anything? GOD.
If shes so convinced why is she no longer trying to convince me of how mad he is?
Oh she thinks hes mad by the way.

I also said and if he is writing stuff what is you knowing going to achieve? How is it going to help?

The thing is that it is all real to her. You won't convince her that it isn't.

you need to talk to her

dont let her change the subject

cry if necessary

i suspect she will crack and you will get her to the gp

she has asked for your help by ringing you

ok she has asked you to look in his bin

but

she is acknowledging that something is going on that isnt right

but she needs some help to understand what is going on that isnt right

could you suggest that she goes to see her GP to see what she can do about the 'mad' neighbour.
then you speak to the GP to forewarn him of the situation?

or in a similar vein

mum i can see that you are getting ditressed about neoighbour i think you should go to the gp and see if he canprescribe something to help you cope

tho i am less keen on that myself as if i was her i would say im not taking any medication

Oh Oh Oh, I Like that zippi, tht sounds GOOD. I can feel myself wanting to shake her.
I am going to go to hers NOW. And have a couple of hours before I pick up the kids. Need to get her out the house. She wont talk to me in her house because hes listening.

good luck charlie

ifeel she may be able to be worked upon if you persevere you are going to nail her before the end of the afternoon

Good luck