Shit. My mum is losing the plot.

[charliecat]

This has been going on for the past year or so, she has a neighbour who when he first moved in, was noisy, keeping her up at night etc and driving her up the wall.
Nwow he is quiet, but she has came COMPLETELY obsessed with him.
Her whole life is about him.
The most extreme example I can give you is one day in her garden , she was pottering, and the neighbour shut his window and left his flat, and in her head he had been watching her, was irritated her so she followed him in her car with intention of running him over.
Now all he had ACTUALLY done was shut his window and left his flat, the rest was imaginary, in her head.
She has just popped by my house, she couldnt ring me because he would hear...shes been racking in his bins.
Ive just rang her best mate, and I said asd long as she doesnt run his over or go to his door and its all in her head its ok.
She said its too late, she went up to his door and tryed to kick it in.
My brother has paranoid schizophrenia. Even when hes ranting saying hes going to kill people they dont section him.
How can I make mum see the irrationalness of all of this?
Hes quiet....because hes listening to her. ARGH
Its not him, its her.

When you are being irrational you just can't see it. That is part of the problem. I hope you get some help from the GP, don't let it lie.

my mum was paranoid - no one helped becusa she didn't want the help. i phoned the GP, i phoned social services, i phoned age concern - i even phoned the priest to ask if he would pop round.

i hate to say it but i will be amazed if you get much help from anywhere - but then all regions are different.
sorry to be the voice of doom

maybe you could simply encourage her to move?

Oh crossed posts....yes i dont want him to tell me anything about her. I would just like him to have my , more logical view about the neighbour.
And then the next time she goes is saying he is driving her mad, he will HOPEFULLY pick apart her delusions and see that actually, the neighbour hasnt done anything at all noisy or antisocial, its all in mums head.
Shes very belivable because to her it 100% real.

You come higher than your mums mate so don't tell her you have rung the doc if it will cause a problem. Your mum won't see that you are trying to help.

We all got the forms for her to move. And with her being an adult im not sure if she hnded them in or not.
I know what the mental services are like. My brother is ill.Even when hes completely OFF his rocker, walking the streets saying to people, Move Out the Way Baby Fucker they do nothing. And thats really quite dangerous because in his head these people are peadophiles(sp???) and hes Mad, you know.
So I will be shocked if anything happens, but at least the doctor will listen to her with an awared mind IYKWIM, I realise that not correct english but YKWIM/.
How bad was your mum custardo?

Exactly Charlie cat it will help the GP to piece together a jigsaw & possibly confirm concerns already raised by others/himself.

moving wont make any difference

she will focus on something else

and yes it is shockingly difficult to get help

and to get anyone to listen even when it is you going mad

you can write to her gp

i believe my exh did that when he was my h

it probably paled into insignificance in the context of the short stream of consciousness novella i sent my gp tho

long novella lol

you dont think it could be early dementia?

has she had mental health issues herself before

Zippi!!
I did write, 3 pages, both sides. Was scary reading. Bottled out of sending it.
I realise the chances of actually getting some help are zero, but I feel I need to lighten this load.
And the GP may slip her some anti-madness pills lol, with her parcetamol..well heres hoping
I have a mate who went to the docs, after YEARS of not going, because she was depressed, and they told them to come back in a month if they felt the same. FFS.

I used to call the GP to prewarn if one of my relatives happened to be going through a particularly impressive paranoid delusion phase.

Tbh, I think most GPs are pretty canny at spotting this sort of behaviour but it never hurts to forewarn that you think there may be an issue. I was always thanked for calling (!).

Erm, its delusional and paranoia. No issues before.

I meant for you to forewarn the GP iyswim.

It really WOULD help if she had a little grip on reality. Really you know we could build on that.
But any conversation that goes in that direction is dismissed and she WILL NOT have it.

sorry wasn't clear. I meant it's a GOOD thing that you have called the GP and it always seems to help to do so.

Yep, Im not sure if he has any idea. He wrote to the housing association for her you see. Because of her dreadful neighbour. WHICH HE INITILLY WAS. Up all night, really noisy etc, but hes not now. He sleeps normal hours, doesnt distrub her etc, and NOW she sayd hes quiet because hes listening to her.

when i was realy ill and i wont describe it here tho i think i may have before i eventually sat with the gp (post novella) and said could i spend the day with him as i was too scared to leave

i suggested i could just sit quietly in his consulting room just to be near him

i had already the same day made the reseptionist let me see him

and i had already driven twice to cheltenham and back very fast because i couldnt keep still

i hant slept for weeks

the gp let me go in a side room while he sorted stuff out

then he said can you go home and stay there until a psychitrist comes

i was in hospital by mid afternoon

but

it was fucking hard work to get there

i had been seriously ill for 4 months

hi
it really does sound like she's having paranoid delusions

these can be because of many reasons - yes schizophrenia, but also certain types of dementia, or a chemical imbalance or other physical illnesses

it must be horrible for her (and you) as she thinks its real...she must be terrifed of him

to be honest i would ring the gP back and get to sepak to him before 545

from experience (am a gp) dealing with situations like this takes time, and at 545 friday afternoon all mental health services have gone home for the weekend and its vert difficult to do an assessment.

i would call now and ask them to visit your mum (you could go too if poss)
if you have problems with the receoption staff just explain, or demand to sepak to doc

if you explain to doc whats happening and that you think she having paranoid delusions i would be very surprised if he/she wasn't very halpeful and concerned.
she does need to be assessed as shes not well and could be a risk to herself

good luck!!!

So basically you made yourself his problem and wouldnt leave and got help tht way
Fark.

Ive just realised my mum has always been a tea totaller, is that a word?
Never drunk.
She is now makig home brews
And talks of gin.
Will mention that to GP too.
Self medication I reckon.

charliecat - my mum has been the same over the last year or so. She is convinced my dad is having an affair with the man across the road. She was watching my Dad constantly and accusing him of all sorts.

Paranoia can be a symptom of Parkinsons.

My Mum was on ADs and was over dosing on them - they made her sleepy so she was taking an extra one if she woke up to early. Ended up with her having a stroke 2 months ago. And we didn't realise what it was for 24 hours as we were focusing on the effects of the ADs. I went to her doctor and he also thought it was the ADs but in the midst of talking to him (and he was sort of helpful) we figured out that she was not being honest with us about what he was telling her and vice versa.

Anyway - she ended up in hosp for 3 weeks and the docs did say that the paranoia could have been part of the build up of the stroke.

It is def worth writing down all the info about your mum that you can think of so you are prepared when you speak to the doc.

My mum is now home again and apart from speech problems is much better but still suspicious where my Dad is concerned. Haven't spoken to him on his own recently so not sure how she is now.

Good luck - it really is a worry.

Hi luvaduck, another few hours or days wont matter, really, this has been going on for months. I also dont want a team rushing round there really. And unless she is frothing at the mouth saying shes going to kill him (and actually even if she was) they wont actully do anything with her.

i really think the GP will lsiten and take action so you will get help

if not you need to ask for a 2nd opinion the same day
i would be very angry if this was dismissed by a gp

Parkinsons. God Erm she has underactive thyroid. Can that have an effect on your thyroid. I think its underactive the one that makes you thin.

on your MIND not your thyroid. I dont think it will be dismissed luvaduck, it will be noted and ...thats about it. Even when my brother IS sectioned for 28 days. Hes out on day 2.