Shit. My mum is losing the plot.

[charliecat]

This has been going on for the past year or so, she has a neighbour who when he first moved in, was noisy, keeping her up at night etc and driving her up the wall.
Nwow he is quiet, but she has came COMPLETELY obsessed with him.
Her whole life is about him.
The most extreme example I can give you is one day in her garden , she was pottering, and the neighbour shut his window and left his flat, and in her head he had been watching her, was irritated her so she followed him in her car with intention of running him over.
Now all he had ACTUALLY done was shut his window and left his flat, the rest was imaginary, in her head.
She has just popped by my house, she couldnt ring me because he would hear...shes been racking in his bins.
Ive just rang her best mate, and I said asd long as she doesnt run his over or go to his door and its all in her head its ok.
She said its too late, she went up to his door and tryed to kick it in.
My brother has paranoid schizophrenia. Even when hes ranting saying hes going to kill people they dont section him.
How can I make mum see the irrationalness of all of this?
Hes quiet....because hes listening to her. ARGH
Its not him, its her.

Hi charlie cat have skimmed through the thread apologies if I have not picked up on everything. From what I have gleaned your mum has, amongst other things, threatened to run over the neighbour and also threatened suicide?.

How is she today? Is she exhibiting worrying behaviour at the moment? I ask this because you could ring surgery now and try to get an on call GP out to assess her. They may then contact the out of hours Social Services emergency duty team to look at sectioning your mum if required. This could be one way of by-passing the useless G.P.

Another thought, did your brother have a Social Worker? Was your Mum his carer? If so is his case still active? It may be that the Social Worker involved with him could help to advise on referring your Mum to the community mental health team.

You do need a GP referral to the community mental health team which is why I suggest the out of hours GP. If not ask to see another GP at the clinic.

It is possible that if your Mum had a named Social Worker ahe could recive CBT counselling through them. Hope this helps a bit good luck

The surgery will have an answering machine with relevant out of hours emergency numbers.

Oh, if you did go down the out of hours route they may not necessarily section her, it might be that a mental health assessment could be done of your mum at that point thereby quickening the referral process. Just food for thought charlie cat.

Answering questions about my brother now, no mum has never been his carer but if anything ever happens with him she gets called.
I dont know whether he has a social worker or not at the moment. He has one in the past.
I am going to wait to see what my GP says when he comes back next week. See what he suggests.
I had my own mad episode last night and got cautioned for assaulting xp
Which is going to look GREAT if that community officer looks me up[cringe]

charliecat
i really wouldn't wait...go and see another gp (you've already established yours is rubbish)
are there others in the practice??
she is unwell and needs to be assessed by a psych team...thoughts of suicide and harming the neighbour means she needs to be seen today. can you make an appt to go and see another GP at the practice - you can make it in your mums name and you go alone if you can't convince your mum to come (under the pretence of sorting out thyroid meds) if there are no appts - another telephone consultation.

also i would probably not challenge her about her paranoid thoughts - it really does sound as if she is ill, and her state of mind will mean that she won't see sense, and arguing, or questioning her already confused mind could tip her over the edge (sorry to be dramatic)

please seek help today from a medical professional. take the letter with you maybe?

good luck

oh and later down the line you should complain about that GP - he obviously was going off on hols, and couldn't be arsed to sort it out. he didn't write it down to cover himself if something goes wrong. outraegous.

oh charlie

you sound stressed too

these things have repercussions al, around

Her gp was the one on the phone who couldnt give a monkeys, mine is the one I have emailed, not sure what his response is going to be yet...
I want this done gently not in a great hammer like SPLAT you know?
Gently Gently.
Yes Zippi, Stressed to eyeballs. But having xp in your house, when you dont get on is never a good idea.

i imagine

does he have to be in your house?

No. I was trying to be accomodating, let him see the kids on home turf etc, he cant keep his mouth shut, commenting on this, sarky comments, sitting tutting etc etc. Shit hit the fan last night when he a) brought the kids a new telly and wouldnt take away the old one(Er I didnt have a farking telly in my hall before you brought them a new one- you take the rubbish He said No.)
He then saw me eating and suggested I should have coooked for him too. So I threw the plate at him.
And then..when he knocked at the door, he didnt say Oh you appear to be angry, not sure if I should leave the kids with you. It was to say he would damage my car overnight because Id broken the telly he had brought ramming it in the bin.

Completely unreasonable on my part.
Now hes gonna have to be Mr Mcdonalds.

Were you children in the house when this was going on?

Afraid so. It will not be happening again. Hes not coming in my house again.

ok, wasn't sure how desperate the situation with your mum is. Just wanted to give you some info incase she became more agitated and you needed some immediate recourse to action. Take care.

I think it is desperate in the, scale of what normal and whats not, but I am hoping this all blowing up , us arguing has given her some OTHER food for thought (not just him) that means its not super urgent IYKWIM

I have unfortunately had to initiate the sectioning of a close relative a few years ago. So just wanted to give you a few ideas if you were not sure what to do and felt it was all getting out of control. Hope your GP is more sensitive than the previous one.

have you seen her again charlie or had a reply to your email

I have saw her a few times. All times perfect norm, till she talks about him. Then its he knows, bla bla.
I also got a call from the pc community person, he is going to pay a visit to her just see how things are going on. Said the bloke up the stairs doesnt have any carpets so the noise will travel but the bloke looked with COMPLETELY blank face when the noise was mentioned, said hes not doing anything on purpose, is just walking about.
(He WAS skipping in the middle of the night originally, but stopped after housing officer came, that obviously IS unreasonable at 2/3 am)
Wanted to knock on his door and say If I can get you carpets from freeccle will you have them?
So thats that, no reply to email as yet, my doc is still on hol.

Oh thank you izy boy. Its awful isnt it? Something nedds to be done but its, scary, implementing it.

It is, but the relative I was involved with was known to the Mental Health services already and was, at that point, extremely florid.

I would keep persuing the GP route it does seem that your mum needs a mental health assessment and this does not necessarily end in a sectioning (unless absolutely necessary).

i agree
if you go to another gp sooner rather than later it is LESS likely that she will be sectioned as it can be dealt with calmly in working hours.
if you leave it too long then it may become an emergency and it will be much more "splat" as you say...

you really do need to go and chat to another doc, for the sake of your mum

she is ill she doesn't realise shes being unreasonable.

Dear **
I am currently on leave, but because of the seriousness of your comments about your Mother I am forwarding this to our practice manager who will ensure that Dr sees it, and that it is put on your Mother's file.
Kind regards

Dr

well what do you think of that rep;ly?

Well, her doctor will now have to do something, wont he? and its on paper if anything does go pear shaped.
I dont know.

will he do something or just file it

I really, dont know

I am charliecat, this hasnt gone away. Just documenting here.

Dear Dr ,
Once again I find myself being very concerned with my mums mental health ().
I realise, again, that unless she causes herself or someone damage or seeks help herself then theres nothing anyone can do, but I would like my concerns noted, if only so if anything does happen, then I am relieved of the guilt of not doing anything...this is about all I can do.
I wrote an email before detailing the history, briefly, mum lives in downstairs flat, initially upstairs neighbour keeping her awake at night, housing manager asked him to stop, he did, however mum became completely obsessed by him, wanting me to look in his bins, saying "he knows" what she is doing, where in the flat she is, she tried to kick in his door, community police officer involved...her going after the neighbour with intent to run him over.

Fast forward another few months, just as obsessed, she has brought a big dogs bed to lay on the floor on so that he cant hear her laying on it, she still insists that he(the neighbour) can see what she is doing/where she is going in her flat, although He Just Knows...is as much as she can explain...
She has a cat, that she has renamed Sherlock, because she thinks the cat tells her where the neighbour is standing because the cat looks up at the ceiling.
She also says that he is upstairs thinking that she is downstairs reading the sun, then the courier etc....basically, nothing she does is without a thought about the neighbour.
Talk again of running him over, she has followed him a few times. Though various things have got in the way of her running him over(THANKFULLY)
She says he follows her around from the minute she gets up to when she goes to bed.
I have seen/heard nothing to suggest any persecution. It is all in her head, she cannot be reasoned with and nearly every sentence ends with a whispered comment about the neighbour, she is continually rolling her eyes to the ceiling suggesting we be quiet so he doesnt hear, if we do laugh or do anything vaguely noisy she says she will suffer for it later...
If post isnt on time she says its because hes got it...oh just EVERYTHING is for him, because of him, in spite of him, its draining.
I have a repeat prescription to hand in for her that seems to suggest she hasnt had any pills for 161 days...I asked her about this she said she had brought what she could, eye drops etc, becuase she couldnt think straight enough to get to the doctors.
She is drinking, she has always been a tee totaller...self medication I would think. Its terrifying to think thats shes having such irrational thoughts about someone AS WELL as drinking.
Anyway, I have offloaded. If you could pass this onto her doctor - Dr , it will have passed by 2 professionals.

Thank you for your time.