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Original poster

Support. Please anybody?

367 replies

LowestLow · 29/06/2025 22:01

Hello. I know that I'm asking for a lot from strangers, but could I please have some support on here, if anybody is able to spare any?

I will be there for anybody if you are also having a hard time.

I have love to spare if anybody else is struggling. I wanted to post this on MH but need it to disappear.

I'm not sleeping & I'm so stressed. I am having online counseling once a week (& they say that my anxiety & depression is off the scale) it's not really helping like I thought that it would, although I'm still grateful that I'm able to have it. It's making me talk about things & I don't want to talk about things.

I'm sorry but I really need to be vague. Next Monday, the 7th, I may be losing contact with my children.

I can't bare this pain. I'm trying so hard to hang on.

Please, is anybody able to be around & post every now & then until the 7th, just so that I don't feel so alone?

We can talk about anything, distraction, if anybody wants to talk about anything?

I have been on here for 10 years but this is a new name.

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 31/07/2025 22:34

Hello

Im sorry you are in this situation. Can I ask are you taking any meds? Like SSRIs?

They would really help with your anxiety

Has the judge asked for reports from others is that why there is a delay?

The fact you are allowed unsupervised access to your children seems at odds with the threat you feel re losing them permanently.

If your children were on a CP plan there will be steps in there for you to follow -

Original poster
LowestLow · 31/07/2025 22:49

Hi Quitelikeit Thank you for posting.

The one thing that everybody seems to agree on is that it's a very strange/unusual situation & not one that they've come across.

It's not child protection.

The delay was caused by other people messing up. And it happens, we are only human. Nothing that I can do about it. But it's devastating.

Anything that I've ever been asked to do, I've done, & more (eg if I was asked to do 6 courses then I've done 10)

Sometimes, doing as people ask, doesn't make the slightest but of difference & the opinion that they had before you did all of that, remains the same. And it's like Chinese whispers, some people will believe anything if it comes from a person they trust.

Sorry if that's cryptic.

I am aware that this is probably an extremely frustrating thread & I'm sorry for that.

I did have a previous thread about a different situation years ago where I was 'found' on here, & that wasn't anything like this situation, or as important, so I do have an extra reason to be cautious.

I'm not on any meds at the moment.

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 01/08/2025 08:13

Op

Would it not be a good idea to take some meds?

I understand your paranoia in being found out and your need to be vague.

Have you got a Barrister who is actually on your side?

If they have asked you to do things and you have complied with everything then I am wondering why they bothered.

Sometimes things are so serious they might not bother to ask you to do anything in the way of courses.

However you seem to have been led to believe that there was going to be a decision made and it wasn’t. That means that you were not made aware and f how things could unfold in advance?

Barristers can fight for you. However they need to have a leg to stand on in the first place.

Maybe you are talking about the Court of Protection here? Rather than the family court. It’s hard to know.

If your fate is not sealed, then why not act now?

Original poster
LowestLow · 01/08/2025 08:21

Quitelikeit I'm just about to head out but just spotted this so I'll quickly reply.

Your last point. I have no money. I have asked everybody who I could possibly ask (people & agency types) if there is a way to throw some money at this/they can help me, but they can't.

I am acting now as much as I possibly can.

I have a very small charity helping me but they are limited in what they can do.

Yes, I was lead to believe that if I jump through their hoops then things will get better. It is indeed hard not to wonder 'Why did I bother' but then, I do learn things, it's not all pointless & I'd never say 'No' when it's for the good of my children.

This delay 'Wasn't foreseen by anybody' but it freezes things as they were (& slowly getting worse, & of course it leaves us in turmoil over the school holidays)

But I can't say 'Well since this delay wasn't my fault then can we can't things anyway?' & we just have to wait. Again.

The children aren't under child protection.

OP posts:
Lemniscate8 · 01/08/2025 08:29

I am just adding the samaritans phone number for you, so you always have someone to talk to 116 123

Eldermileniummam · 01/08/2025 08:37

Hope you have a good day today OP

Original poster
LowestLow · 01/08/2025 21:43

Thank you both. It's very kind of people to keep checking in on me.

OP posts:
Auroraofthedawn · 01/08/2025 22:08

Big hugs to you OP, have you tried EFT tapping therapy? It’s absolutely amazing and free, check out videos on Youtube. It’s saved me so many times

Original poster
LowestLow · 01/08/2025 22:17

Thank you Auroraofthedawn, I have tried it & it doesn't really work for me, but it's always lovely to hear about what things work for othersSmile

I need my mind to be quiet & stop questioning things, as there are no answers.

OP posts:
Original poster
LowestLow · 12/08/2025 19:04

Very bad day todaySad

The day started badly & it gradually got worse & kind of snowballed into a slow hell.

Tears are flowing, I feel like it's got to the point where I can't hold them in any more, today.

(My children aren't with me, it's just me, as it ever was)

OP posts:
Onethingiwantfor23 · 12/08/2025 22:05

I’m sorry to hear this. Don’t hold them in, just let them flow. It’s better to let it out than hold it in.

Do you know when the next meeting may be?

Original poster
LowestLow · 12/08/2025 22:27

Thank you for answering me Onethingiwantfor23.

The next meeting is tomorrow & I can't do it, I just can'tSad

OP posts:
Suednymph · 12/08/2025 22:30

@LowestLow you CAN do it. You have been so so fucking strong this far you CAN do this.

Original poster
LowestLow · 12/08/2025 22:37

Suednymph It's so hard. I'm not strong enough to do it any more. I don't even know what I'm doing it 'for' any more as I'm being told that my children are happier elsewhere.

OP posts:
Suednymph · 12/08/2025 23:31

Deep down you know they love you, you love them so so very much that much is clear. It is so horrible you are going through this, your pain is so obvious but keep fighting for them, they will know maybe if not now but in future they will know how much you fought. They will know how much you love them.

Original poster
LowestLow · 12/08/2025 23:46

Suednymph They won't ever know. I will always be the villain in this story. Everybody will keep shoving me down until I give up.

I've been fighting so hard. I've been trying so much. Every single day is phonecalls, emails, notes, meetings, lists, records, I'm trying so hard. And it's never enough.

Just imagine how it feels to spend 2 hours on the phone explaining everything to somebody 'new' for them to say 'Huge sympathy to you & we wish you all the best, but there is nothing that we can do to help'.

I hope that my children are ok tonight.
I hope that they only know a little, of this hellish day. I hope that they have their teddies & are sleeping soundly, just without meSad

OP posts:
Eldermileniummam · 13/08/2025 12:03

Hope the meeting goes as well as it can OP

Typicalwave · 13/08/2025 12:28

LowestLow · 12/08/2025 23:46

Suednymph They won't ever know. I will always be the villain in this story. Everybody will keep shoving me down until I give up.

I've been fighting so hard. I've been trying so much. Every single day is phonecalls, emails, notes, meetings, lists, records, I'm trying so hard. And it's never enough.

Just imagine how it feels to spend 2 hours on the phone explaining everything to somebody 'new' for them to say 'Huge sympathy to you & we wish you all the best, but there is nothing that we can do to help'.

I hope that my children are ok tonight.
I hope that they only know a little, of this hellish day. I hope that they have their teddies & are sleeping soundly, just without meSad

Hi OP

Ive read all of your posts. You say it’s not child protection so I’m guessing that this is a case of children’s father being supported by children’s social services to make applications for child arrangements on the basis of you having had a mental health crisis (or health problem of some kind)

If I’m correct, I can tell you that there’s a very good chance your children will know, one day. They’re not stupid. And the truth has a way of working its way out of the woodwork.

Happy to chat in pm if you need.

Original poster
LowestLow · 13/08/2025 18:22

Typicalwave Thank you. Some of that is kind of similar. I will message you.

Thank you Eldermileniummam All support is appreciated.

It was so bad. I'm just not listened to, it was a complete & utter waste of time & I get myself so worked up/stressed beforehand. I got about 3 hours sleep last night.

I held it together in there, the charity worker who came with me, for support, said that I put my points across really well & articulately... & I sobbed to her afterwards 'It doesn't matter though, because they don't listen'.

(I'm normally alright after these meetings, but there was a (another!) huge bombshell dropped on me in today's meeting, & this is the thing that upset me. I wish that I hadn't heard it today)

I felt like a complete idiot in there, as I always do, I struggled to find the words for what I wanted up say, I don't feel articulate. I feel like I stumble over my words & never quite say what I want to say.

I just want my children to be ok & I feel like I've failed them todaySad

I've had one of them with me for the rest of today, & despite my aching heart, it's been good, so that's a comfort to me tonight.

OP posts:
WideawakeinSanDiego · 17/08/2025 20:38

The UK is in a bad way and it is deeply disturbing and terrifying that children can be taken away from a mother with no justification?

This will mean parents will limit NHS visits or keep to home schooling (avoid any state interference) and keep their child safe with them.

Original poster
LowestLow · 17/08/2025 21:26

WideawakeinSanDiego It's a complicated situation but yes, its terrifying how easily this is being done.

OP posts:
IsItAllMenopause · 18/08/2025 10:08

Hi OP,
How are you doing today? x

Original poster
LowestLow · 18/08/2025 16:07

Hi IsItAllMenopause Thank you for asking. I'm struggling, & it's long... I'm never one of those who wishes that the summer holidays was over but I do this year, for the first time ever. I just want it done.

I am seeing my children, but not very much. And they don't understand. They were alright with how things were, but now it's the holidays, it's thrown everything off. I'm to blame, for them, they hold resentment towards me. But we've had some good times, despite this.

Nothing is moving forwards (if anything, it's moving backwards)

OP posts:
Typicalwave · 18/08/2025 16:11

Hey there. Just do what you can with the time y have

Original poster
LowestLow · 18/08/2025 16:22

We are, Typicalwave. Thank you.

OP posts: