Any therapists / counsellors out there who can give advice about transference?

[LostThePlotEncore]

As the title suggests really. I’ve been seeing a therapist since the end of last September and becoming a bit obsessed. I crave the space to feel heard and appreciated. I’m dealing with complex ptsd from SA.

The word ‘chronic’ to me always feels like it should mean ‘serious’. Thanks for replying people.

I’ ve scripted some lines to hopefully share next time about how I am feeling but however I word it , it feels massively awkward.

Chronic has a specific, technical, meaning: constant, consistent, enduring, but does not necessarily mean “scary” or “serious”—it is opposed to “acute” which is understood to mean very serious/needs immediate attention, in crisis.

A chronic cough means you have it all the time. An acute phase might mean you need to seek medical attention immediately.

Thanks pikkumy. Makes more sense.

feeling extremely anxious today and the SH risk is high. Need to keep busy!

Funny how the transference seems to wear off between appointments then grows again. Like a rollercoaster.

I can resonate with this!

Very much like a rollercoaster! It’s a good thing - the lows are hard but the break between appointments shows you that you can cope, that feelings fade in intensity etc - all great for building resilience over time. The swings will lessen in intensity.

Every time I see a similar car to hers I jump!

Ok so next appointment coming up this week. I’m considering mentioning the transference. I’ve been reflecting and she actually mentioned the word ‘transference’ when I was talking about a work situation from a few years ago. This made me realise that she is therefore at least aware of it. Hard to gauge what her reaction would be.

What is baffling me is that the transference feels maternal or older sister like. I don’t have a bad relationship with my mum. I didn’t have a terrible childhood. It had its up and downs and was stressful and unpredictable at times but I wasn’t beaten or starved. But I did feel like my mum massively favoured my other siblings. I feel she still does.

Appointment tomorrow. Do I mention this?

Yes. Absolutely. A good therapist will run with it and if you have a crap one, the sooner you know, the better.

thats a very good point Balloon, thanks.

Hope it went OK OP.

Unfortunately I was just very unable to get my words out. Instead a load of mum issues came out. And that’s opened another can of worms.

Oh bless you, I can resonate with that having mum issues myself. Can of worms indeed. Sending gentle hugs.

It’s not helped really as now I’m feeling even more transference!! Tricky thing is she shared some details about her own upbringing and there’s some frightening similarities. I know this was done to help and show me that lots of families are muddled up.

Thanks for checking in flip flop.

Bless you, I'm no expert but I'm sure this must be so normal. I've definitely gone through it and probably still am but perhaps not as intensely now. Take it as it comes and I'm sure you'll be able to talk about it when the time is right. X

When I couldn't bring myself to talk about something I used to journal. Just like stream of my thoughts and feelings to make sense of them. No dates or anything just used to change pen colours every day. Then I'd let him read it, or parts of it.

Thanks so much for the advice. I’m just so worried she’ll win the lottery and disappear and I’ll be left with all this baggage to sift through!

Stop! Just relax. The whole pont is to work through your mommy issues in a safe space. Think about it like learning to rick climb in a gym on a tiny wall with padding and harness before going out into the wild and jyst free climbing on a cliff. If you are uncomfortable be uncomfortable! say Im uncomfortable learn how to accept comfort.

OP, you are getting some fantastic support here.
I would like to add that once you can accept the fact that -all of our feelings are OK to have, they are just feelings- you will actually start feeling better.

Thanks. I am getting lots of positive support, which is good. I need to re read things a few times before it sinks in so bare with me!

The whole transference stuff still feels very very difficult. It feels especially hard now the mum issues have popped up. I guess I just need to lean into it. She definitely knows there is transference going on though!

Morning everyone, I’ve had such a bad day yesterday and I’ve woken up in such a mess with an awful headache. I genuinely don’t think I can do this therapy anymore. I know there’s so much more crap from my early years that needs sifting through and the feeling of transference are just so awful I feel sick. I just want to sleep and sleep and not wake up. My head feel so muddled like someone has gone onto the files in a computer and moved everything about. I am seriously considering making the next session the last because all I did was cry last night.

You need more help not less.

But I just don’t feel like I can cope between sessions. I’m a mess and cannot function.