General support thread 3

[Helplessandheartbroke]

All welcome x

@2in2022twoyearson we all need recoup days. My old hr boss once said everyone should be allowed 1 duvet day a year. No bull excuses just I need a duvet day today, see you tomorrow. Ds was up until 5am (sen) and I had to go in the office today so I'm well and truely exhausted today.

@snowfoxglove I'll keep that in mind thank you. Also cheering you on for a better year. How's therapy going? Fluoxitine dragged me out of my worst time, I hope it can help you x

Thanks @Helplessandheartbroke I have just managed an afternoon nap which I've been wanting for weeks. I used to take an afternoon nap same time as my oldest when she was a toddler, but with my second, not so much. Eg I have to make sure im up for the school run. Today my daughter has clubs so I'm appreciating not doing school run now. Told DH about my plan to nap and he said don't try too hard to nap but I didn't have to lie down long. Slept slightly brokenly from 1-3, feel groggy now but know I'll appreciate it this evening.

@Helplessandheartbroke your old boss sounds great. My current boss has said similar to me in private but not in a meeting and so I don't feel comfortable calling up talking to not my boss to say I'm taking a mental health day. If I messaged the boss the message might not get through to the department.

@2in2022twoyearson honestly don't feel bad. We all need it at times. Just put extra effort in tomorrow :) afternoon nap sounds nice!

Hi @Helplessandheartbroke thank you for asking.

It's been hellish trying to find a good therapist. There have been so many snobs, uptight and unreliable people. Really hurts when you're trying to get help.

I finally found someone who talks about his life and his problems as well as listen to mine.

That works so much better for me than that standard hogwash "How does that make you feel?" where the other person just digs through your trauma and tells you absolutely nothing about themselves.

That just made me feel even more sad and lonely. Now I don't dread therapy anymore but I also don't need to go often.

I would like to start going out again and face people IRL again because I self-isolated for far too long and nobody can do that for me

Sorry for waffling on a bit too much. I hope everyone reading this thread is holding on. January is not an easy month.

Hello all. Feeling a little better than I have the last few weeks. Went to the gym yesterday for the first time in over a month.
Intrusive thoughts still a constant though.
A lot of the time they are a bit like background noise but I hate the constant feeling that I'm missing something. I'm constantly aware that my mind is busy all the time. Hope everyone is doing OK. X

I know you struggled so glad you found someone suited. Did I tell you about the bereavement therapist I reached out to after I lost ddog? She worked at the vets so was familiar with me and winston. I confided some of my intrusive thoughts to her and at first she was really comforting and then suddenly just blanked me! It was awful and made me feel 100 times worse! Talk about kicking someone while they're down. This was a week after I lost him too and she's meant to be a bereavement counsellor! To this day I don't know what happened x

Ditto. The constant dread but at least its become background noise rather than consuming us I guess x

@Helplessandheartbroke yeah I suppose so. It would be nice to get to a place where you have a quiet mind and a sense of clarity at least some of the time though. X

@Ilovedogs1 that sounds really tough. I remember back when I had lots of anxiety, then started taking a medication and I could go for a walk and enjoy the beauty of flowers and it was lovely I was missing that being in the present that no amount of mindfulness could allow me to do.

A thought for the day: don't aim for happiness, aim for something more tangible and you might find happiness in the journey.

I've been craving lots of alone time recently.
So my cold has developed into a more debating cold so I've not been back at work and today is my day with my 2 year old. I feel quite congested but have lemsip in stock. He normally naps so I have that time to myself. slept until nearly 7 when he normally wakes at 5:30 so I hope I can still get him down for at least a short nap.

I had a lovely weekend visiting a friend in NI , but now back to caring duties this week (mum recently out of hosptal and dad has dementia) I am working remotely.
The meds and new dose are helping me rationalise stuff and not be an emotional wreck , however I feel my empathy has gone and I am 'going through the motions'
Double edged sword really.
I am seeing more glimmers / positivity and deliberately looking for them
How is everyone else ?

Oddly, I've been the opposite to most on this thread. I started off OK and was quite upbeat (for me). The last week this has really, really dropped off and the meds aren't working. I rarely leave the house if at all; feel 'strung out' despite my meds previously working; have anxiety. I've been off work since Xmas Eve and the thing is, where I work is horrific. We get sickness attendance meetings which eventually result in a dismissal, frankly. This is making things even worse for me - having to return to a job I loathe on top of everything else that's happened to me. I'm looking for something else, but there's not much out there in the area of work I do. I applied for 2 roles - didn't even get an interview which I've put down to my age, frankly... didn't happen when I had more than 13 years to retirement!!

I just want to get out of this mindset and move forward, and it's just not happening. I can't get motivated, not even for a walk (weather not helping).

I'm starting my fourth course of CBT tomorrow for my social anxiety and felt okay about it. But I've just spent three hours crying because someone on a dog bereavement thread accused me of "parading your overextended grief over two years". I lost my emotional support dog suddenly, three years ago. He was my world. I thought I was over it but clearly I am not. And maybe I overshared on that thread and maybe I'm oversharing here but that's this fucking social anxiety shit. Now I'm crying for my dead dog and for being accused of "overextended grief" because I can't get over losing my only friend. He got me through a breakdown, he always comforted me.
I have a new pup and she's lovely, but she's too young to understand my moods yet and tonight I'm missing my boy and I'm hurt and angry. And it feels raw again for the first time in months. Urgh. I hate when I let people mess with my head like this.

I'm very apprehensive about more CBT. I don't know what to prioritise on with the new therapist. I think I'll just be glad when tomorrow is over.

(Sorry for venting/oversharing).

Good luck tomorrow, with CBT that's a horrible thing for someone to say, you'll always get comments like that from keyboard worriers. Perhaps it's worth talking things through with Samaritans beforehand, especially if your concerned about oversharing, it's ok to do that annonmously. I've found them mostly great.

You have my deepest sympathys. Losing my ddog over a year ago was what sent me over the edge. I started a bereavement chat inwish you'd have joined instead. I've just finished cbt today and had a tough session reflecting.

Spooky i hope you can find real life support but were here for a hand hold.

Sending hugs all

So sorry for your loss. Grief is grief. There is no allotted time.

I am nerd of a serious hand hold. OCD indecision has left me on the brink of losing my job, my relationship, my child. So scared.

Mrsgoodenough. I don't know your situation enough to offer further words. I'm hoping it's not as bad as you think and you can stay strong and fight for the things you love.

@Helplessandheartbroke No you didn't tell me about that bereavement lady who was initially nice and pleasant after you lost Winston. NGL, what a piece of dirt.

So many of these people are seemingly nice but there's nothing nice pretending to be above you and problem-less while you're suffering. Good riddance!

However, I can tell how much you've grown in a time of one year. I am aware that there are still bad days, but I'm glad things seem to be better.

DM was polite and we didn't have many arguments since November 2024. I just finished speaking to hear and she feels positive about her life seeing she is planning to move with her partner September/October this year.

I'm like 😳

Could this mean that I could finally have a place all for myself? Go back to uni? Actually have a peace of mind and less anxiety and depression? I don't dare hope but still...

It would be nice if I finally had my own place and she moved in with her partner whom she known for a long time.

I know what that feels like. Sometimes I will have a good day, and sometimes a misplaced item in a house will trigger my anxiety and OCD. I came to realise a lot of this happens just randomly and sometimes I just need to get through the day.

Holding your hand @MsGoodenough 💐

Hi all

@snowfoxglove I think a break from dm will do you some good as I know she was contributing to many of your struggles last year. How did you get on with your new friendship group? Also what will you study at uni?

Yes that therapist was scum as far as I'm concerned. Talk about kicking someone when they're down.

@MsGoodenough do you want to talk about the issues you're facing and maybe we can offer some advice? Who's making threats about your dc?

Happy weekend everyone,

I have 3 weeks until we're going on a half term holiday.

Someone made me cry at work yesterday. It's been the second time this year. She's a very intense personality, quite new and honest about the fact she speaks her mind and doesn't gossip behind backs. and we were working just us two in the Same room so could have been very awkward. I was feeling fragile anyway, with stress of kids before work, busy morning etc then she had a go at me for interfering. I left to get a drink. Cried a bit. I came back, the phone rang and one of us had to leave. She got paranoid thinking I'd planned it and snapped at me so I cried, she apologised and hugged me then we had a good chat. Bless her she talked about her anxiety and adhd and how she thinks everyone must think she's a bitch but it's a front.

Well, my first impression was that she was a friendly and competent at her job, but maybe I just see the good in everyone too much.

I felt exhausted for the rest of the day, may have been my lingering cold.

May I join? I’m currently in the midst of my second breakdown in 5 years! I have a diagnosed panic disorder and I am extremely anxious and catastrophise everything (when unwell).

I had a terribly stressful 2024 due to a toxic job that included bullying, redundancies and eventual being “managed out”

Then, on New Years week - several awful things happened. Which in isolation would have been hard to deal with. But all together has been exceptionally difficult.

I have a wonderful DH! And I’m a mum to one pre teen. Who is quite loud and animated at the moment causing me to hide away.

I hate checking out of life. I guess I need time and distance from New Years week but it’s difficult in the meantime.

We’re looking at moving away for a fresh start - somewhere more vibrant with more things to do. Currently live somewhere very dull. Which adds to overall feeling of depression and dreariness.

No amount of therapy or meds are helping me through this. Just need time 😭

Welcome livingingrey. We're also concdering a move. Maybe you can take your time to experience the mood of the seasons. Rest now and a vibrant spring spoon enough!

@2in2022twoyearson thank you for your reply. I find the early dark evenings quite claustrophobic. I’m desperate for Spring! ☀️