General support thread 3

[Helplessandheartbroke]

All welcome x

@2in2022twoyearson aww I hope your little one is ok! mine seem to just have constant coughs at the moment!

sending hugs @Helplessandheartbroke I hope the guilt you felt previously regarding your dog is easing and u can just enjoy ur good memories of him xx

Thank you @Whycantgiraffesdance I'm not sure it will ever go but I have now realised were human and not perfect. I just hope he know how much I loved him. We cam always do more but what therapy thought me is that some days you're running at 20 percent. But on that day your 20 percent is your 100 percent. We can only give what we can give and we definitely neglect ourselves more than we do others. Something we should all remember x

I’m struggling each day, each day it is a struggle to stay alive.
can’t find any light, I’m very tired.

I'm so sorry to hear this - sending love and thanks to you for sticking with it. I'm sure there'll be people around you who are all the better with you in their lives. Do you want to share anything? What things help you get through each day?

Sorry I've just caught up on some of your precious messages. Sounds like you've got support around you but you have voices and ideas that are not helping you. You can't have evil or grit or poison in your blood, no one does - and don't worry about the doctors and nurses, they'll be telling the truth, they would never keep their jobs if they didn't. They'll have helpful advice and you should keep taking the meds in the way they've prescribed for you.
Have you had episodes like this in the past that can give you an idea how to get through this period? I'm just thinking of uplifting music, getting out in nature, being with close friends, spending time with animals etc to help spend quality time while your meds are working.
Hope you start feeling better soon - you've got this xxx

Hope tomorrow is a better day for you! What's troubling you right now? X

Hi is it ok I just say hello? Struggling a lot. Sat on edge of cliff yesterday or day before, nearly went. Stupid dog and man came along and hassled me. So I had to come away.I’m so very tired. But scared to sleep, terrifying nightmares that are part reliving bad things and part made up. When I sleep I get more poisoned in my blood because I’m not able to suppress it with safe activities like counting and colouring. Seen psychiatrist, talked to gp they tell me I’m ill not evil. Not sure who to believe. Got meds upped, not sure there’s a lot of point. Pills pills more pills.
How are you all? I hope it’s ok I said how I am. I’ve emailed cmht but no reply, they are probably sick of me.

@NealsBackYard hey! I'm sorry you're struggling so much. And I'm glad the man and dog hassled you! What would your family do? The gp is right of course. You know these thoughts aren't rational. Of course you're not evil. Evil people inflict purpose harm on others. Serial killers are evil. Preditors are evil. You're poorly.

Did you have the blood tests done?

@NealsBackYard sorry to hear that you are still struggling so much. Sounds like pills are the thing that could get through right now.

I did have the blood test and she said it didn’t show anything I needed a medicine for.
My son wrote in a card today “you’re doing a pretty good job at Mumming” it made me cry.

Well I would take that all day long :) my son is non verbal so I'd love to hear him say that! He does show me though :)

Happy mothers day all x

Yes it is precious, I’m lucky and do appreciate it. I’m glad your child can show you his affection in his own way. My son is weird with his language, it’s an autistic thing. So when he does say something loving it carries more weight. I got given a plum from the fruit bowl as a gift.
We are making sandwiches to go for a picnic, is anyone else doing anything special today?

Try to hang on to how much your son loves you and needs you @NealsBackYard.
I find it helpful to think that my partner would be upset if I wasn’t here when I am struggling to fight the suicidal thoughts.
You are stronger than you think.

I’m taking it hour by hour just now. Boy is with his father. Trying to remember the strength.
That complete strangers even respond with kindness and support is so touching. Thank you. I might email CMHT again tomorrow, to talk things through.

I had a lovely sunny day at a national trust place and went to an evening kids church service today. Most days I have a low level of stress that I should be studying for exams. Today I decided I wouldn't try and do any study for mothers day and I managed to not think about it... until now. I'm kind of resigning that I will probably fail. Probably is I don't have time or commitment for it. I've decided eato prioritise mental health, followed my my family then the course. I might be able to scrape a pass if I'm organised. Yesterday I also had a relaxing day and some precious alone time.

I’m glad you had a nice day. It’s been sunny here, has it been warm where you are? That’s great that you could give yourself permission not to worry about studying.

Had a lovely day seeing my mum and MIL them called to the pub for a cheeky one then a Chinese at home. Been a lovely sunny afternoon. Hope spirits are high! Have a nice relaxing evening all x

That sounds nice. The sun does help everything seem less bleak.

I got called into CMHT today. I wasn’t due an appt, so it was weird. But it it was just care coord, doing a ‘mental state and risk assessment’ Has anyone had that before? I don’t know what the implications of it are. I tried to be honest in my answers.

She said she’d consult with psychiatrist and Home Treatment Team, but I doubt anything will change. I’m supposed to have antipsychotics upped again this week, not sure they are doing anything helpful in my head. They make me sleepy.

I couldn’t face cooking anything tonight so got fish and chips. Now feel stuffed and sick.

Hey how is everyone? @NealsBackYard I'm not under them so can't offer advice I'm afraid. All you can do is be honest x

Hi all. Not to bad here. @NealsBackYard I was under home treatment team just over 18 mths ago. I personally felt they just upped and upped meds until I was like a walking zombie.

How are you doing @NealsBackYard I feel like I'm spiraling a little.

I have a horrible cold which immediately followed my period and feel quite unsupported from my husband. Also last Friday I was going to go to a work retirement party for someone i respect but didn't because I felt tired with pms and don't often enjoy partys. Then on Monday everyone was talking about it and I felt bad. Earlier in the week my DH brought it up in arguments, can't remember what but I just said well I won't go to the party and realised it was a weight off my shoulder to mean it.Today is my DD last day at school.

I may go to work as I like the company of my colleagues, but don't want to spread germs but there's also the attitude of it's just a cold, and come in to see how your feeling. On the other hand, I know I need rest, but DD and DH have a half day so wouldn't get loads of rest at home!

I feel like my head is stuffed with cotton wool and sandpaper is in the throat. I've run out of strepsils and lemsip. The unmedicated lozenges made my throat more sore. As I've had a bit of a temperature, I've been concerned it's bacterial, my DH was very dismissive of this so thought that might be my anxiety. However I've not had a cold like this in years it feels.

@2in2022twoyearson I've been suffering with the same kind of thing this last week. Quite a few people at my workplace have it also. A lot going about.
Is it health anxiety you suffer with?
Sorry the thread is so long I can't remember. 😬

No, I'm not normally too bad with health anxiety, I've been diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder in the past. Sometimes I wander if I'm neurodivergent. So it's more the decision making around illness, do I go to work/ or out with friends and family, etc.

My DD vomited just after I wrote that post so decion to stay home was made easier. She's sleeping bless her, and I'm doing some sticker book art I find relaxing and got some laundry on, will take it easy today.

Yesterday when my throat felt particularly sore I put my symptoms into 111 online and referred myself to a pharmacy. Got a call today, said DD is ill, they said I could bring her and they will look at us together. She has had a cough towards the end of the week and the sick was mostly mucous. I will pick up cold medication there.

I hope everyone feels better soon.

I’m exhausted, just waited an hour in the pharmacy for my meds, to find that what they gave me isn’t even the increased dose. I can’t face going back later. It’s a 20 mile drive as well. I’m done in. HTT say I need to be seen weekly by same person for continuity but they can’t offer that. GP urges me not to kill myself on Monday. Says I need a few more weeks on high antipsychotics to see a benefit. Not sure I can cope with sedative effects, I won’t be able to drive, so completely isolated. It’s all gone to shit.