General support thread 3

[Helplessandheartbroke]

All welcome x

Hi

Thanks OP. I really appreciate the support. I am still in the marriage technically but we're more like flatmates. I am working up the energy to change that and make the break but my friends moving away just makes it harder as I feel more isolated.

Anyway enough about me. How are you?

Welcome @Sparko99 and we are happy to have you here. If you stick around you'll find the ladies kind and supportive, and there's no snark and petty behaviour like in AIBU.

It's incredibly hard thinking of ending one chapter and opening the next. Sometimes living with someone who feels like a flatmate feels even more lonely than if you were to live on your own.

Remember, this is a huge step and you don't have to fix everything or figure out everything in 2 weeks. Baby steps.

I have also been trying to make friends IRL and it's been hard. It would be nice to meet up with someone instead of just avoid ups and downs.

Hi, I think I'm too sensitive to off hand comments at the moment. Eg Yesterday I wanted to vent at work to another mum. She's a lovely lady and I told her my 2 year old had a tantrum getting dressed then was ok after he'd eaten. Apparently her 3 boys never had tantrums, because she was strict... well that comments been playing on my mind dispite knowing most toddlers have tantrums and it's normal. It made dealing with his emotions around getting changed last and this morning hard and I had to swap with my husband.

Hi there

TBH she doesn't sound that nice. I'm really not keen on people who smugly suggest when you share something that bothers you that it never happens to them and it's because you're somehow doing it wrong. It lacks empathy and is subtly undermining.

Actually your way sounds much better. You didn't shut your LO down, worked out what the problem was and sorted it. Your child wasn't being naughty he just felt uncomfortable and didn't know why. Obviously as he grows you'll teach him better ways to express the way he feels. Her kids are being taught theyre not allowed to express their feelings and they may become overly passive, passive aggressive or the kind that hold anger in and then explode.

In short you sound like a lovely mum.

Aw thanks, your making me cry and I'm sat in the car and need to go to work. My older daughter is also giving me grief at 6. She is so rude to me at the moment, but perfect for everyone else, if anyone else is around. I just have the know I'm her safe space. She loves school but she's one of those very well behaved children who just have to let it out at home.

And I just shouted at my son this morning because he wouldn't let me dress him. I could dress him while shouting but it's not good. 5 minutes before I was feeling like it was too much when he ran off sticky with breakfast and had just opened bubble mixture.

100 this - kids act out with those who they have the closest bond to. I never felt flattered by it though (when my own 2 did it)
Parenting is a tough gig - she loves her mummy

Hi ladies

Loving all the support on the new thread already!

@Sparko99 no way of changing the marriage for the better?

@snowfoxglove move NW and ill be your IRL friend!

@2in2022twoyearson my ds is SEN and I always get the brunt of meltdowns etc its never my dh.

Sending hugs ladies x

Hope I can post here ........
I have recently upped my dose of AD from 50 to 100. It is numbing me /emotionless which in a way is good but the week has caught up with me - just a rant i guess :(
Parents live hundreds of miles away, mum was hospitalised (out now but frail) and dad has dementia. Myself and siblings (1 sis and 1 bro)have been doing shifts down there . I feel guilt tripped to do this and then guilt that i feel bad about saying no etc.
My kids are older than theirs but son is in an exam year and i am still his mum.
My work is flexible-ish.
None of us know how long we will need to support them.
I need some grounding tips to stay present because i am dissociating myself currently. I have some strategies already - gym, walks in nature and ensure my sleep is good. I do prioritize these !

@Jenkib welcome!

Sorry to hear about your parents. It's a lot for you all to be dealing with. Can you arrange carers at all?

Well done on the mindful exercises! I wish I had more time to do these things.

Mum doesn't want strangers in the house when she is recovering :(
Mindfulness/meditation is something I need help with

Prioritising gym and walks is definitely on the right path way.

Can you speak to your mum and explain what a strain it's having on you all? Especially when working and have children.

is this the sole cause of your mh issues?

No - I have had poor MH for many many years- a combination of stuff (low esteem mostly)

Exacerbated by marriage breakdown
I have had counselling in the past and am having it now too.
I feel my life has not gone the way it should have and dwell lots. Fear the future too .

@Jenkib were here to help build that self esteem! Hope everyone's well today x

Hi ladies. Great to have a new thread @Helplessandheartbroke .
Still having a tough time mentally atm. Bloody intrusive thoughts and 'what if's'
😞

Hi all

I just published a post on chat but today is difficult and I could do with a handhold.

I'm on 3 interview panels, got a driving lesson, a cold and started my period. I'm totally done in but can't get out of today.

Hi @UmbrellaEllaEllaElla

It seems it's one of those days where things are a bit much. Here for you 💐 One step at a time. Whatever you manage or don't it's okay

@Ilovedogs1 I'm sorry to hear. January is a bit of a tricky month, sometimes intrusive thoughts and what ifs come unannounced

💐

@UmbrellaEllaEllaElla sounds though, but hopefully tomorrow you can relax a bit more? If possible I would cancel the driving lesson though. Your less likely to learn and maybe have a setback when you're stressed.

Good advice , though you sometimes get charged if cancel too late !
Accept that you are human and not a robot. You will do your best .
Nice evening - hot water bottle, meal and something easy going on the TV

Hi, my sleeps not grea. 5:30 wake up is my son's wake up time but he comes to our bed before then. Today he was wriggling but asleep at about 4, but I thought it was 5:30, I got up and realised the time so went back to bed. Half an hour later I wanted to get up but son was stirring so I tried to settle him then we both got up at 5. I'm not ready for today. Tried to do my morning journalling/ to do list but too much distraction. I'm working/studying today. I don't feel positive about it. Yesterday at work in healthcare the meeting was all about the cqc inspection coming up. Then about a clinical error talk. I normally avoid them, was off with stress once than maternity leaves. I'm not senior enough for there to be much for me but the general atmosphere is just more tense.

Hi all, sorry a few are having a hard week. How's things this weekend for everyone?

I've took myself off propranolol and want to reduce my fluoxitine now. I'm determined this year will be better than last.

Sending healthy and happy thoughts to all x

Good morning, how is everyone, today is blue Monday. I've got a cold so I'm taking the day off work. I've been thinking I need a full rest day for my mental health anyway so this is a bit of both. Allthough I am chesty and have muscle aches and my digestion feels off, but I have energy, no headache and still feel as though I could push through and work but this is better for my health and productivity/attitude to work to take today off. But please help me feel less guilty. I rationalised it and decided not to feel guilty, but still....

I did an online seminar provided by work 'building resistance to burnout' which was really useful. Made me realise, I lot of the time I am in the middle, which is fatigued, with tiredness before it and burnout as the worst point of being unable to work. So I'm taking the advice given at at corporate level and prioritising self care.

My plan for the day, drop daughter at school, tidy the house and hoover, nap, go for a walk and do my physio excsises. Do 2 hours of study and play my video game. Probably not enough hours for that.

Good on you @Helplessandheartbroke

I already went to the therapist and he changed my meds (Escitalopram to Fluoexteine) but I didn't start yet as I'm a bit scared.

If you go and reduce it, I've read on surviving antidepressants website that 10% reduction is sensible. I tried reducing Escitalopram by 50 % and that was too ambitious..

I'm with you and cheering you on to make 2025 a better year x

@2in2022twoyearson It seems like you need this Monday off. No reason to feel guilty, it's January and it's not an easy month.

I hope you study and get to enjoy your video game, sometimes we need a day off and it's all right