General support thread - come on in

[Kielyflower]

I couldn’t see a recent one of these so thought I’d start one.

I just feel I need to do something positive so will hopefully share some more thoughts later that I hope will help - others as well as myself.

In the meantime, feel free to check in as, if nothing else, it helps to feel less alone.

Ah I did see your thread @hk1993x i wouldn’t take the comments to heart, I can understand you wanting to try anything that takes away the constant sadness and anxiety. As long as you don’t become dependent on it as then it could become hard to give up but I think you know that anyway! Were the mental health team helpful? x

Yeah they were lovely, I just feel lost and its frustrating cause I don't know how I feel. Like I cry. And feel the sadness but feel like im living on autopilot xx

Evening to all of you. I’m as predicted feeling less anxious having put the work stress away.
Basically I attempted a role that I couldn’t commit too - so now have gone back to my more relaxed ad hoc role. I think I ran before I could walk. So small steps in that area from now on.

Am still going to speak to GP to get something else prescribed as I can eliminate as much stress as I can but I know it will come back (anxiety) at some point as it always does.

Am exercising & trying to eat well. Focusing on improving my house. Thinking of holidays.

@hk1993x how many sessions of the ECT are you having ? And so true even folks with good mental health do have off date.

@JamSandle am very jealous of your trip to Peru !

@EmmaEmerald I can go for ages without seeing friends :-( , when I do see them feel good and love reconnecting. I do have a partner he’s great but good female friends are worth their weight in gold !. I would have loved a sister !

How are @Jk24 & @snowfoxglove and everyone else here .

Hey. Bit of a dip here I'm afraid. Kind of my own fault. Went out Friday for a work thing, had one to many drinks (barely drink normally) followed by a crap nights sleep, followed by heightened anxiety/intrusive thoughts which then resulted in another crap nights sleep last night.
@hk1993x I totally understand the codeine taking. I did this myself last year when I was really bad. Your so engulfed in the anxiety/hopelessness and just can't see an end so anything just to block it out for a bit. I unfortunately took it a bit to far and overdosed on it. It wasn't this thread you were called a drug addict was it?
Sending you a big hug.
How is everyone else doing?

Goof morning ladies. I'm feeling quite numb today but underneath that is a lot of anger and sadness.

I confided in a close friend last night over drinks and found her to be really unsympathetic, quite judgemental and critical.

I feel very guarded and self protective today and like I dont want to open up to anyone, don't feel safe with anyone. My bf broke up with me a couple of months ago so I feel abandoned by him too. I feel really disconnected to other humans at the moment.

Sorry I've been away for dh birthday just 1 night in southport.

@JamSandle I'm very jealous of Peru. Did you go with dB? Did you do macha picchu? In all honestly your 'friend' doesn't sound like much of one. You can open up to us anytime you need to x

@EmmaEmerald if you're NW at all I will book us in my diary! Definitely book something in with your friend so its in there x

@Ataloss44 hey! I've been a little down recently again as my ds isn't sleeping much at all and things are becoming difficult some days. How are you? Your post sounds very positive with home improvements and holidays etc x

@hk1993x there can be some right nasty bitches on MN sometimes. This thread and these ladies are your safe zone x

@Ilovedogs1 the dreaded beer fear.... try not to overthink as hard as it is x

@Whycantgiraffesdance@Kielyflower how are you? X

@hk1993x can you link your thread at all? I've only found one where my friend Dawn has commented and a few others but nice comments on that one x

I had it hidden but unhidden it. Its the 2nd one down in addiction threads. Ive spoken to MH team and I don't have any cocodomol left so starting from fresh tomorrow.

Just need out this vicious cycle now I'm tired 😔

Sorry I've been away, I dealt with some intrusive thoughts this weekend, though right now it's okay. @Jk24 Actually, my GP wasn't very helpful with referral so I made an appointment with a private therapist tomorrow but I'm not too sure about it as it's 70 £/50 minutes. But I don't know how I feel about it, it seems a bit mercenary..?

I read everyone's updates, I will respond when I have a bit more time. As @Jk24 wrote this is our safe space 💐

@hk1993x I'll have another look. The thread on the MH board was positive though. Speak to the MH team about the cocodamol sweet if it helps you just don't want to become dependent x

I've spoken to them and said it just gives me like a glimmer of happiness. I've ordered a journal also cause I'm struggling to voice how I'm feeling, I don't know what I'm feeling but can feel sadness and emptiness. Back for round 5 of ECT on Tues. And will go from there. I hope you all had a nice weekend 💚

@hk1993x I was going to comment on the thread but others have worded it much better than I could showing support. I would step back from that thread and stick to the MH board. Nicer people with a good understanding x

Yeah, I think I got myself in a state when people were calling me an addict etc. So I called my MH team straight away and told them what was going on. I'm hoping tomorrow is a fresh start away from cocodomol, I don't have any anyways and will see where I go from here. Its been a rocky road since Xmas time so I'm hoping they come up with some answers soon, having all these different labels is exhausting x

@hk1993x I think you've realised a potential problem before it started so you'll come off it easily enough I think. We make bad decisions when we're down its natural x

Morning to you all. Supposed to have an app. with a private therapist. It bothers me a bit because we spoke on the phone for 2 minutes. She was polite but there was no introductory free session of 20 to 30 minutes where we discover if we are a good fit for each other.

@EmmaEmerald , like you, I feel very lonely and I need some face to face human contact but I also worry if someone might take advantage of me. It's so much money and I can't really afford it. I also tried so many things but I don't know if this is yet another dead end or...?

I have seen many therapists, but if things worked, it was because there was some sort of friendship there. Talking about my problems often times just made me feel worse (with therapists not with you lot). I just don't know, it's against my principles to let people take advantage of me.

Thinking of you @Jk24 , @Kielyflower , @hk1993x . How have you been doing @Jk24 I hope you had a great time in Southport, and that your DH had a good birthday.

@Kielyflower I remember you expressing your doubts about therapists and saying that you'd much rather do something for yourself instead. Starting to think the same.

@JamSandle She doesn't sound much or a friend tbf. There's no use on having someone in your life with whom you can't be yourself. When I opened to my GP and she was very judgemental, it really crushed me. The whole point of having someone there is that you can be genuine with them without them judging you.

@Ataloss44 I agree with you, female friendships are worth their weigh in gold. It's sensible that you are thinking what to do if/when anxiety reappears. Small steps, yes, each day.

@Ilovedogs1 Have you managed to get rest this weekend? Constantly fighting with intrusive thoughts can feel so so tiring.

Hope you are all doing okay this morning. Its my 16 year anniversary with my DH (been together since I was 15) and had a bit of a cry saying I don't deserve him etc 🥹

Woken up this morning, schools are now back after Easter break. Not sure how I'm feeling today, feel very numb and tired. Sick of feeling tired.

Hope you all have some little bits of hope and happiness today ❤️

Morning everyone,

im not really sure how I’m feeling tbh. I’ve got my first appt today with a nurse from the perinatal team, she’s coming to my home. I just feel very disconnected from the world I guess, I’ve definitely been doing better but I still feel very sad at times, still very anxious and just like I can’t be bothered with life anymore. which I feel so guilty for saying as I have so much to live for least of all my babies 🥺 and this may sound really silly but I almost feel like I have ptsd from the last few months when I was at my lowest, I almost can’t bear to sit in my house too long as it reminds me of the many days I just sat on the sofa, crying but numb and not knowing what to do with myself.

sorry I just felt like I needed to get all that out!

hope you are all ok xx

@snowfoxglove the weekend has been pretty busy tbh. Only problem with resting is I think more.😬
Feeling out of sorts today. Lots of intrusive thoughts bobbing around demanding my attention. Being pretty good so far at not checking/responding to them to much but the bloody doubting/fear is hard going.
Got another cold so that's not helping and also due my period.
@Whycantgiraffesdance I know what you mean about remembering when you were really bad. I find it's a bit like a fear of OMG I don't want to be like that again.
I feel a bit like that atm. After having a little improved period I'm now going through a bit of a dip and I can feel this background fear of 'what if this gets worse'.
If it starts with 'what if' its usually the anxiety speaking.
Hope you all have an ok day. Xx

Morning everyone,

@snowfoxglove I hope your appointment goes well! Let us know. Southport was nice and chilled thank you. How have you been over the weekend? X

@Whycantgiraffesdance hope your appointment goes well too. Just be honest with them x

@Ilovedogs1 keep fighting them and remember it's all in your head x

@hk1993x congratulations on your 16 year anniversary! Do you have any plans? X

I can relate to a lot if you and your posts. I've had a cbt session this morning and I explained that I'm exhausted and drained too much to be thinking about my thoughts and just feel sad for what I'm going through at the moment so in a way its been a distraction but not a good one. She's mentioned doing some high intensity therapy with me? Not sure it anyone knows much about it? She said it's to try and help me like myself and see myself as a good person which I just can't see happening! Hope you all have a good day x

You absolutely do deserve him! Congratulations on your anniversary. What a beautiful thing to celebrate.

@Jk24 I really relate with what you said about being to exhausted to deal with your thoughts. I feel a bit like that. It's like my intrusive thoughts are tapping me on the shoulder saying you need to make sure XYZ is ok and I'm aware the thought and doubt is there and I feel this pull to ruminate and check but at the same time I can't be bothered. I'm also aware that if i give OCD an inch it will take a mile so trying not to engage. Just feeling generally uncomfortable. X

Quick update -- I'm not doing it. I need love and friendship, and I'm willing to provide love and friendship in return. I'm not paying for it. It feels wrong. When we spoke on the phone she didn't give me any info on what exactly she does, she just made an appointment with me, and texted me the price. This is ridiculous.

Out and about to chat with you lot. Your friendship helps a lot because we are all in similar places, so I get to learn from real and genuine people.

Will check in later

@Whycantgiraffesdance Hang in there, we are here for you, will comment when I'm back home 💐

Sending love to everyone xx

@Ilovedogs1 I'm glad you can relate because I struggle to explain it in a way people will understand. It's exhausting isn't it. Kielyflow hasn't been on for a while so I might do a new thread later? X

@snowfoxglove 100 percent agree. Were all here for you any time! X

Just a thought but would anyone be interested in a WhatsApp group or would you prefer to keep it online? X