To anyone struggling right now...

[Notgettingbetter]

... I'm sending you a hug (or some other equivalent if a hug is not wanted). You can get through this ❤️

[quote Iguessyourestuckwithme]@Notgettingbetter

I'm so sorry you feel like this

I've felt like this, I feel like this.

Know that I really wish I could give you a hug right now. I'm sorry you're feeling like this.[/quote]
Thank you. I'm really sorry you're feeling like that too.

@Notgettingbetter 🤗😘😚💋❤️

Sometimes I feel like dying too. Especially when i'm in pain. I feel like my life will just drift by while i'm suffering and then it'll be too late.

Thanks. I feel like such a waste of life - I have so many things to be glad of but I don't feel good about anything. At the moment I feel particularly bad about being so miserable and grumpy around my daughter and partner.

I came to the realisation ten minutes ago that if I were to go, no-one would really even notice. I mean my mother would grieve for herself and for the show, she'd say all the things but she's be mortified at the shame on the family. My friends would say they'd seen the signs for a while but would hope that I was at peace. My sister would probably be sad for the funeral. Bit no one would really be affected. Apart from my mum who would rewrite history and come out trumps and use it someway for attention.

I need to not be in this place. I'm so tired of feeling so worthless j need a miracle tonight.

@Iguessyourestuckwithme

I came to the realisation ten minutes ago that if I were to go, no-one would really even notice. I mean my mother would grieve for herself and for the show, she'd say all the things but she's be mortified at the shame on the family. My friends would say they'd seen the signs for a while but would hope that I was at peace. My sister would probably be sad for the funeral. Bit no one would really be affected. Apart from my mum who would rewrite history and come out trumps and use it someway for attention.

How can you be sure any of that is true?

So sorry to everyone here who is feeling so low. Wish I had the words to help you. None of us know what is around the corner. I hope life improves for all of you x

@Iguessyourestuckwithme that’s the illness speaking. Mental illness makes you believe those things. You matter. You deserve to be happy OP.

@Wolfiefan I wish it was just the illness but I sit here alone because when I asked for help when I finally admitted I might have depression my mother told me it was making me anxious and made me move out and my sister has cut ties because I ruined a family event because I tried so hard and just couldn't try anymore. I know my friends are there but I've moved across country and no they must have had enough of Mt dramas. It always finds me and I actually like just being alone on my bed so I don't know how.

But yeah I know my family wouldn't care because when I asked for help they showed me the door.

Not me, but my husband is going through a dreadful time for the last 4 years. It's been such a challenging time for us as a couple but I know one day we shall
Look back and see the positives that came from this trying time.

@Iguessyourestuckwithme they can’t solve depression for you. I like my own company and many of my friends are miles away. Doesn’t mean they wouldn’t be profoundly affected if I died. Are you having help and support for your MH?

I didn't say they could solve my depression not did I ask that they did. That is why I don't put stuff on them because it's not for them to have to carry my crap that I can't handle.

Sorry I didn’t mean you expected them to.
You can more than handle it all with help.

I came to the realisation ten minutes ago that if I were to go, no-one would really even notice. I mean my mother would grieve for herself and for the show, she'd say all the things but she's be mortified at the shame on the family. My friends would say they'd seen the signs for a while but would hope that I was at peace. My sister would probably be sad for the funeral. Bit no one would really be affected. Apart from my mum who would rewrite history and come out trumps and use it someway for attention.

Sorry you sound so disconnected from your family. That must be really difficult and you must feel so let down.

You are cared about by more people than you know though. A colleague of mine committed suicide quite a while ago. Not a close friend or anything, but someone I enjoyed passing the time of day with. Our last conversation still haunts me - I had no idea what he was feeling. I know many of my colleagues felt the same way and very distressed and guilty that they had no clue.

@Iguessyourestuckwithme I hope you're feeling more hopeful this morning.

I think all you can do is look after yourself and wait to feel better. Eat well, exercise, sleep at the right times. Go outside, connect whenever you can. Get counselling.

When you're seeing a bit more progress prepare to start trying to mend bridges with your family? Formulate a plan.

It might not work but at least you'll know you tried your best to improve your life and that of your family.

I too remember someone who committed suicide. I only knew them for 6 weeks and truthfully I didn't like them very much to begin with. But I'll never forget them and remember them with great sadness and compassion. I wish I could have known them more.

Happy New Year to you all. May this be a better year 🤞❤️

A very happy this year to everyone. I hope that your troubles will ease.

Happy new year, all 😘😚💋

I've been booked for a psych assessment sometime in April, so hopefully that'll help me out a bit. The sertraline is helping though.

I'm still in a lot of pain, so struggling to cope with that.

hugs to all of you. it is nice to not feel so alone in these feelings. i am also really really struggling. the loneliness this time of year is killer it is just me and my kids i have no family no friends and have been unwell and had to be in hospital and i did think what is the point of fighting to get better when only two people (kids) on the planet would care if i was here or not. the days are just too painful and i hate life so much it is too hard and i do not understand wtf is "happy" about another shitty day in this life and another shitty year in a shit life. fuck it

@Notgettingbetter thanks for this thoughtful post and sending you a hug back. I can relate to the feeling of just struggling. The new year can be a very difficult time and the media portrayal can make people feel even lonelier. It's been suggested to me to keep a journal too and something I might consider, but in the past I found that it just made me wallow too much rather than focus on the future. Maybe I will come up with some kind of project that I can work on daily and then at the end of the year have something tangible that I can use or keep

@yummytummy I'm so sorry you feel like this too. I have struggled with this myself all over the holidays thinking if I weren't hear that nobody would even notice. It can be hard to find any motivation to get through the days sometimes. For now I'm just trying to hold on to the smallest thing that might bring me some happiness but that's easier said than done sometimes

Hugs to anyone who need it tonight x

I thought of ending it all several times through out my life. Very recently I read somewhere that when you end it to end your pain, it doesn't go away but just get transferred to whoever is losing you. There will be someone who thinks of you, I hope always!

Hope I helped someone x even tiniest bit

Have really been struggling this week. My entire body hurts, and my hands have been horrific.

My tutor has sent an email saying that my group are going to be doing typing work in the classroom so it looks like I won't be attending. (This happened before Christmas too and I felt so anxious about it that I had to go home early) I just feel really self conscious about doing any sort of typing in front of other people at the moment.

@goldenochre

Hugs to anyone who need it tonight x

I thought of ending it all several times through out my life. Very recently I read somewhere that when you end it to end your pain, it doesn't go away but just get transferred to whoever is losing you. There will be someone who thinks of you, I hope always!

Hope I helped someone x even tiniest bit

@goldenochre 😘😘

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I have been my bravest here in this group

So I am saying be kind to yourself, don't go if you feel anxious or if you do have to, block out everyone mentally and do it. Its easier said than done but you feel strangely calm and weightless

X