To anyone struggling right now...

[Notgettingbetter]

... I'm sending you a hug (or some other equivalent if a hug is not wanted). You can get through this ❤️

@wildthingsinthenight I'm feeling it at the moment to be honest. It's just the feeling of 'if I knew what's wrong I could at least start to make a plan for the future.' Now I just feel stuck in a bit of a limbo 🥺

@Iguessyourestuckwithme I'm the same, mostly alone apart from occasional visitors. I know I can do it too, mostly I feel quite happy but this time of year always floors me, it's the time I feel lonely and isolated rather than alone and independent.

I've felt sick for days with anxiety after family member kicked off on Christmas day. Haven't told anyone that.

Not feeling great tonight by any means. My only daughter has emigrated to Canada and has been back for Christmas and tomorrow she leaves for Canada again. I feel heartbroken but know l will have to get used to this as she will always be coming and going like this.

@Youlittlerascal

Not feeling great tonight by any means. My only daughter has emigrated to Canada and has been back for Christmas and tomorrow she leaves for Canada again. I feel heartbroken but know l will have to get used to this as she will always be coming and going like this.

@Youlittlerascal ❤️❤️❤️

@wildthingsinthenight

Afternoon hugs for you all. Today is hard for me here. Had a lot of panic this morning as our loo is on the blink and we are waiting for an emergency plumber. It is triggering as I have a chronic condition which means access to loos is essential and we only have one. Also struggle with people coming in the house like workmen. Feel like I have not been able to take a full feel breath all day.

I wanted to share that one if the tools I use is Audible on my phone. I have favourite comforting books on there and put it on to distract me. If I'm tidying kitchen or putting washing away or whatever it is it is there talking away and it does help me.

I totally understand how you feel with people in your home - it's like an invasion of your sanctuary. I hope you feel much better tomorrow.

Thank you OP for posting this thread.

The last few years (probably 4 years or so now…) have been challenging and life changing. I’ve struggled on and off with it all.

So very sorry to hear about your friend. My thoughts are with you and everyone else on here.

hi everyone, i'm struggling too here. family member ruined xmas by being abusive (bipolar episode) and there was a huge bust up. I'm left shaken and concerned for mum etc. Hope you're all doing ok. Hopefully in a few days things will ease off a bit once it's all calmed down. Hugs to all.

Hugs to everyone ❤️

@Deedyn thank you. I find myself thinking about my friend often. Recently I've found myself wishing I could let her go somehow - I feel like she's hanging onto me and dragging me down. I don't know if I'll ever be able to think of her without feeling pain because of the way she died. I try to think of nice things about her but I think my memories of her will always be tainted unfortunately. She was horrifically beaten to death by someone she barely knew. I'll never be able to process that.

I'm sorry you've been having a hard time these past few years. I hope next year is the start of a better time ❤️

@loloballolo sorry about your Christmas being spoilt by an unwell family member. I hope they are getting the help they need and that everyone is okay.

@notgettingbetter thank you so much. I'm sorry I didn't RTFT before I posted. I hope you are coping ok. It sounds as though you are having a tough time. You are so thoughtful looking out for others but going through a tough time yourself. Hope all is just about ok. You can't change the past and it's not your fault.

@Notgettingbetter I just want to say you're amazing. You're having a hard time, but you've started this great thread to help others. I really love that ❤️😘

@loloballlolo and @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards thank you. I managing - I've had severe depression most of this year but I think I might be finally seeing a little improvement 🤞 I've noticed that it feels more important than ever to try to reach out and connect with people, to do kind things, even if they're only small. I really want to get well enough to do some voluntary work next year.

Sending out love and support to anyone reading this thread who needs a shoulder to cry on, or a hand to hold yours. Someone is wishing you well ❤️

@Notgettingbetter sounds like you are doing pretty good in that you have a little improvement. What are the things you love to do, hobbies etc? Do you have anything to look forwards to this coming year?

So kind of you to reach out to everyone else, I hope that now Christmas is over (always stressful) it will be a little easier for you ❤️ ❤️

@Notgettingbetter I'm really sorry to hear that. So glad to read you're feeling a little better. 😘

I've suffered with anxiety on and off since 2014. I have cerebral palsy and I'm awaiting a possible diagnosis of fibromyalgia, after getting some aches in my hands and body and suffering from extreme tiredness.

I'm studying my level 5 CIPD certificate in HR, but I've been struggling to complete the work because of what's been going on. I used to work in customer service, but I've had to retrain so I can do a job that's a little more 'remote.'

I just feel so alone and hollow most of the time. Ive got good family and friends, but I just feel like a bit of a loser, if I'm honest. I don't have much luck with men. I've only really loved one man, and he split up with me because he didn't love me anymore. I'm still a virgin too, and I'm so insecure about that. Everything just feels so bad at the moment.

God, I've rambled on. I'm so sorry for the essay. I just find it really helps me to write things down. Thank you to you and everybody else on this thread. You've all made me feel less alone ❤️

@FunnyCradock

Struggling here too. There’s comfort in knowing it’s not just me & I’m sorry to hear about your own struggles (I wouldn’t wish this on anyone) but I do thank you all for making me feel less alone & less ridiculous. My job (nhs nurse) has broken me & I’m at the point of complete collapse. I resigned yesterday, without anything else to go to (other than a new business venture doing aesthetics which isn’t busy enough to pay for life’s essentials) so that’s also super scary & making me anxious. But I cannot carry on. 16 years in the nhs and I’m a wreck. I’m a crap parent & a crap wife. I’m not available at all to the most important people in my life. I hate myself for it. I’m under the mental health team but it’s not enough. I had to call the crisis team last weekend, my thoughts were enough to scare me into it. My family don’t know what to do, I know they are scared too. I used to be strong. I used to be resilient. I don’t know where that person went. Sorry this sounds so self pitying. I hate myself for being so pathetic.

Sorry to hear that there are so many of us feeling so unwell. Love and hope for a better 2022 to you all xx

Sorry to read this. I too have just handed in my notice with nothing to go to but I couldn't carry on being treated the way I was. The anxiety of no job is crippling also though. I think I may just need to take a bit of time to reflect and heal. I just feel like I keep messing everything up.

I feel like I mess up too. Every time I try to do anything positive, something always happens to detail it.

Hi all. I hate this time of year. I'm in a HMO at it is a tough existence sharing a house with others. I did my usual on Christmas day and just stayed in bed. I've hurt my 16 year old daughter again by refusing to open her presents as I couldn't face it on Christmas day.
I should be used to being single after splitting 3.5 years ago but I'm just so lonely.
I've tried dating sites but women just don't find me attractive so I've given up.
Running the last 4 days has helped me though snd then relaxing with a beer in the evening

Just having a vent. If one more person suggests trying a gratitude journal or some mindfulness or CBT I might run away screaming like a maniac. I have tried many, many things. Nothing has helped my very severe depression. I appreciate people trying to be helpful and I that they don't know my history but I can't help but feel even more hopeless... It begins to feel like I just have a shitty attitude and I don't make enough effort.

@Notgettingbetter

Just having a vent. If one more person suggests trying a gratitude journal or some mindfulness or CBT I might run away screaming like a maniac. I have tried many, many things. Nothing has helped my very severe depression. I appreciate people trying to be helpful and I that they don't know my history but I can't help but feel even more hopeless... It begins to feel like I just have a shitty attitude and I don't make enough effort.

@Notgettingbetter ❤️

I had that today too - “have you tried journaling?” Yes because writing pages about how shit I feel will definitely help! Although saying that, it has helped a bit ranting on here so maybe…

Talking of journalling I was given one of those Goodbye 2021 Hello 2022 ones for Christmas. It is all about going over what happened in the previous year with prompt questions on what could have gone better, what was your biggest achievement.
Ugh it was massively triggering and really set me back. Struggled to find positive things to say. Not a helpful thing for me/us at all. Dwelling on it all. I just tried to get through each day!

Thanks for the thread and the hug - it was much needed. Reading about everyone's struggles has made me feel a little less alone.

I'm feeing overloaded right now. I'm a carer for someone who needs an intensive amount of care, which won't improve. I work full time and we have a child. I feel like I'm crumbling under the weight of all the responsibility and constraints right now.

Hugs to everyone.

Perhaps the difference between journaling (essentially to yourself) and writing here is feeling heard without judgement. We are often our own worst critic.

@wildthingsinthenight but you DID get through them. Every one. Despite feeling that wouldn’t be possible sometimes. That’s the positive. Well done you.
CBT (and lots of meds!) did help me. But I find it unhelpful when people say things like the sun is shining so you must be feeling better. Hmmm. Not how it works. I smile and nod and swear inwardly. I’m not sure swearing to yourself is an official technique to deal with life but it helps me.

I don't want to exist.

@Notgettingbetter

I'm so sorry you feel like this

I've felt like this, I feel like this.

Know that I really wish I could give you a hug right now. I'm sorry you're feeling like this.