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Original poster

I don’t think I want to be here anymore

203 replies

Wafflingonagain · 02/02/2020 00:02

Oh god I started to type this out but there’s so so much I can even include it all. I just thought I’m done

OP posts:
anothernamejeeves · 02/02/2020 00:04

What's happened? Is anyone with you?

MargotLargot · 02/02/2020 00:04

Stick around and have a chat for a while. Board is usually quiet at this hour but there are a few of us.

What’s up?

anothernamejeeves · 02/02/2020 00:04

I am here to listen if you want to start slowly take your time

LetsBeSensible · 02/02/2020 00:05

You don’t have to write it all in one go, just write a message, even just post “hi” so we know you are there

Original poster
Wafflingonagain · 02/02/2020 00:08

I just can’t anymore, I want to die but I have children so I can’t

OP posts:
isthepopea · 02/02/2020 00:10

Things can get better for you. I don't know anything about your situation but there is always a tiny bit of hope. Your life is worth living.

isthepopea · 02/02/2020 00:11

Samaritans: phone 116 123
They will probably be a better help to you than us lot.

MargotLargot · 02/02/2020 00:11

Do you have someone with you?

BumbleBeee69 · 02/02/2020 00:11

OP... keep talking.. Flowers

FluffyFreya · 02/02/2020 00:11

I was in this exact place last year Op, can you talk a bit about how you're feeling? I know it all feels too much but if you can begin to talk even a little on here, it can help.

UndertheCedartree · 02/02/2020 00:13

@Wafflingonagain - life can get very overwhelming. I have had those thoughts too. What's happening? Do you have anyone with you?

Original poster
Wafflingonagain · 02/02/2020 00:15

There’s no one with me but my daughter I won’t do anything while she’s around but I’m at the bottom of this pit and she’d be better off without me anyway

OP posts:
SummerWhisper · 02/02/2020 00:16

You have reached out because you want someone to help you. mumsnetHQ can offer great advice. You are loved, needed and cherished. Please talk to the Samaritans. Flowers

Golightly133 · 02/02/2020 00:16

Hugs

Ancientruin · 02/02/2020 00:16

It’s good that you have posted.

One sentence at a time if it helps.

EmptyFieldOfFucks · 02/02/2020 00:17

Hey there OP. I've been battling with this so badly that I made some half hearted attempts last year.

One of the things which really felt good at the beginning of Jan was getting my kids into bed and watching a film with them,just them and me. I'd been rushed to hospital that morning (not an attempt at anything) and doing that when I got home seemed to help with how I was feeling mentally.

The world is a better place with you in it. Your kids love you and need you.

cakeandchampagne · 02/02/2020 00:17

Do you have a friend or sister nearby who can help you out a little?
I’m sorry you’re having a rough time.
Flowers

QueenArnica · 02/02/2020 00:17

Keep talking Waffling, we are listening and I’m holding your hand. Previous poster’s advice to call the Samaritans is a good one.

Just focus on getting through the next 10 minutes, nothing more.

SummerWhisper · 02/02/2020 00:18

How old is your daughter Wafflingonagain ?

Original poster
Wafflingonagain · 02/02/2020 00:19

I’ve tried Samaritans before new they kept trying to say I was wrong etc I just don’t know what to do anymore. I think I’m fucking my children up more than helping them. I just can’t live with this

OP posts:
UndertheCedartree · 02/02/2020 00:20

@Wafflingonagain - that's really positive that you won't do anything with your DD there. I bet she loves you to pieces. I know it can seem she would be better off without you, but that's not true.

Original poster
Wafflingonagain · 02/02/2020 00:20

She’s 9

OP posts:
FluffyFreya · 02/02/2020 00:20

Waffling you are loved and you matter too. Please, please don't think that your daughter is better off without you because it's just not true.

MargotLargot · 02/02/2020 00:21

I’m at the bottom of this pit and she’d be better off without me anyway

She really wouldn’t. She loves having her mum.

Lots of people have been where you are. There’s help out there.

Do you think you could give the Samaritans a call just to get you through the next while? Their number is 116123. You don’t even have to talk- they’ll listen anyway.

UndertheCedartree · 02/02/2020 00:21

Have you had any contact with mental health services?