I don’t think I want to be here anymore

[Wafflingonagain]

Oh god I started to type this out but there’s so so much I can even include it all. I just thought I’m done

Hi op i hope youre still reading this thread. Every one of us is rooting for you and cares about you. Maybe try the Samaritans again? Your children wouldn't be better off without you. I love the post above with the poison parrot and the white light. I shall use that i think. I have suffered massively over the last few years. Anxiety, depression, ptsd, suicidal thoughts. With the right mix of therapy and meds, I'm coming through it. You can do this. There is hope. Your children need you and you deserve a happy life. You are worthy and important, just the same as anyone else.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. Please try the Samaritans again, or email them on [email protected]. There's some crisis information on the Mind website too.

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real life help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.
We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

Thank you all for your messages and support. Obviously I’m still here and will be seeking more help as I can’t carry on feeling this way. Thank you all x

Hey Waffle, thanks for coming back!

I hope today is a better day. Hug your kids close. You sound like a great mum.

Many parents manage to fuck their kids up without a second thought. The fact that you have so much self awareness with your illnesses, is a really good thing.

With my folks there was a lot of denial, pretence and keeping up appearances, which is not the way to go about things.

Have you seen your GP lately? Do you have mental health type appointments etc?

OP that’s amazing, you’re still making the steps forward and should be proud of yourself for seeking help. It’s a new day and hope things are clearer for you this morning.

What is the weather like near you? Do you have a nice park or beach that you could take a walk around or play with a ball? Maybe make some cakes or cookies when you get back and watch a movie with your children? I’m sure they would love that and the best things are the free things x

Waffle, thanks for letting us know you’re okay.
I hope you’ll post again if things are rough and you want some support.

@Waffle, so glad to hear from you!
Hang in there and every time it gets really bad remember that you have been there before and that you do get better. I know it’s a struggle. But with the right support it WILL get easier. I’m not even going to say take one day at a time because even that can feel too overwhelming. Take an hour at a time, or even a few minutes. Build in a few little things that you enjoy, and if you can’t enjoy anything right now, then just anything that makes you feel relaxed. Or even just calmed, less stressed, anxious, whatever. I can only suggest things that I would enjoy, you probably have your own ‘soothers’. But for me a hot bath (or even a long shower), smelly candles, a hot drink and a cosy place to sit, doodling/painting or listening to a podcast/audiobook/relaxation app when your concentration is shot to pieces.
You are stronger than you realise or you’d given up by now. And you sound like you are a fabulous mum. You clearly love your DCs very much, try and spend some time enjoying them today. And let us know how you are. So many people who have followed you even through the night. You are never alone. Big hugs to you and hope you find a little respite today. xxx

So glad you ok(ish) Was so worried about you. Keep talking sweetheart. I've been there and it just feels hopeless but life is absolutely worth it. Even the simple things in life can bring joy eventually. Reach out to those that can help you and keep chatting to us here when you feel able to ❤

Morning Waffle. Glad to see you.

SO good to hear from you, Waffle.

Please waffle any time

One minute at a time xxxxxxx

So glad you contacted us again. You can feel good again. Please seek professional help. Have a lovely day with your daughter.

@Wafflingonagain - I'm so happy you made it through the night. Nights really are the worst. I'm glad you are going to seek help as you really deserve not to feel this way. Best wishes

Hi op @Wafflingonagain If you ever need a friendly ear feel free to pm me.

So good to read your post.

I missed this last night but it’s so good to see you post this morning and acknowledging needing more help.

Remember there are MN around all the time to ramble to, use this thread any time you feel alone. I hope the professional services give you all the help you need.

Good morning/afternoon/whenever it is! So good to hear from you. The dark moments are awful, but you saw it through, keep going and make sure you follow up and get the help you deserve

I'm so glad you're still posting Waffle. I was reading your thread in the early hours of this morning but didn't post because I was too afraid of saying the wrong thing

I as well as many are here whether you want me or not x

Well done for coming back waffle.

Its so brave to confront how you are feeling. Really it is the beginning of a new journey. Good luck to you, I hope you get the help you need.

What have you done today waffle?

I’ve been very unproductive. Mostly on MN. Not the best way of spending a day to myself 🙄

Waffle, thank you for letting us know you're still here, we were worried about you. Please remember how many people cared when you were feeling so low and we don't even know you. People that do know you, will care too and you are important and worth looking after. I hope you get the support you need and will soon move past this horrible feeling. It is possible, people do, just read how many people have come through.

I’m so sorry you feel this way my son in law took his life 18 months ago he is daddy to my 3 grandchildren

Please stay strong the devastation left behind is beyond thinkable the pain for those left is awful xxx

I was growing more and more uneasy as you stopped posting OP... I'm so glad you're still here and seeking help. We're all rooting for you!

I’m here to listen anytime. Like many others here I have experienced some terrible dark times and never thought I’d get through. I’m still here though and life is so much better. It’s people who know how hard things can be that will often be the ones who help others. You’re not attention seeking. You’re asking for help. That’s really positive.

Hope you enjoyed your day Waffle x