I don’t think I want to be here anymore

[Wafflingonagain]

Oh god I started to type this out but there’s so so much I can even include it all. I just thought I’m done

OP, I really understand how you feel. Please let me tell you that even though you feel right now your daughter may be better off without you, I promise you she won’t feel that. I know there’s nothing I can say to change how you feel but please don’t leave your daughter without her mum. It would be a far worse thing to happen to her, than having you as her mum.

Why not phone 999 and let the police help you? Your daughter will expect to wake up with her mother alive. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. What is your daughter's name?

Have you taken your night meds? I forget sometimes and then my mood can plummet.

Please let us help. You’re clearly someone who cares very much for your kids - they need you and can be your salvation. In my dark times I focussed on what they needed me to be for them and it got me through. Obviously I don’t know your situation, but please don’t do anything rash. X

It will pass OP. Your children need & love you.

OP you are a unique human being. You are special. You are needed. Even if you feel the opposite. I've got to go now but there will be people on here all night long. You're not wasting anyone's time, you don't need to be sorry. Even posting on here has taken you a bit of bravery.

You should give life one more shot for your son and daughter’s sake

Are you at home?

You can private message me Op, I’m more than happy to talk to you in private x

Tell us more about what’s going on op, we’re listening

If you've taken anything call an ambulance now on 999. Even if you feel well or survive the night, the delayed effects on your liver could be fatal.

You don't want to kill yourself. You want not to live the life you are currently living. They aren't the same thing.

What makes your life so awful that you would consider suicide? Someone on this forum can advise or signpost you, no matter what it is:

• debt
• trauma caused by domestic violence, sexual assault, or childhood abuse
• work problems
• divorce/break-up
• bereavement
• bullying

So tell us. We are here for you, by choice. No one points a gun at anyone's head and forces them to login to MN.

I’m sorry and thank you for your support but i just can’t anymore

Please talk to us lovely. A problem shared is a problem halfed . We are all listening .

OP where are you located? I don't want you to be alone right now

Your kids need you OP.
What will happen to them if you're not here?
They'll be absolutely heartbroken, please don't leave them without a mum OP.
You can get through this.

Op, tell us some problems, why do you have PTSD? I struggled for years with PTSD & I’m sure a lot of people here will have similar stories. Your anonymous, we won’t judge, but we will listen, share & support x

You WILL get through this. Your child would much rather have a mum around than look at a photo thinking why???? Please call the Samaritans. I have been where you are, I came out the other side. I believe in you. You are stronger than you know xx

You are your children's protector. You have so much strength. You have been through so much and you are still here. You can win. Your children can win with your strength and support

I'm here.

The nights are the worst, aren't they?

Just a second at a time, OK? That's all you need to do. Hold on and breathe.

Just second by second.

Can you do that for me? With us?

You really don't need to be alone. Please call 999

Phone the Crisis Team and tell them you are having a crisis and need reviewing. You might need a review of your meds?

My ex has Bipolar and when he was getting low they upped his meds and it settled his mood.

Hey love, we are all worthy even when we feel like shit.

Keep talking to your mumsnet community. We really do care.

And many of us have felt the way you feel right now and have got through it.

We all care OP I promise , please don’t do anything . Everything is going to be ok . It might not seem like it now, it’s so dark and seems like a bottomless pit you can’t crawl out of but no matter how we get you out of the pit, we will do it ok? Whether we have to grab every inch of the crumbling walls to get you out, we will do it . I’ve been there, it gets better-hard to believe but it really does. If you go, your Children will feel the same way but that can be avoided . Let’s not hurt them ok? They’re so young, impressionable and need their amazing parent . Come on OP you can overcome this. It will all pass , you don’t need to pass to make it go away.

Hello OP,

Sometimes we have to feel like we have hit rock bottom to realise that’s it, you’ve seen the worse and things can and will get better.

Your children will think you are wonderful because you are their strength, it’s such a tough job and they don’t come with a manual, we are all just winging it. Some more than others, I regularly fuck up, no one is perfect, but it doesn’t make us bad mums.

Please see that it’s a tough time and see that it can be temporary, things will always get better and the world is a better place with you in it. I admire you and all the others that ask for help on the bad days, I think it shows so much courage and strength to say “I’m not okay today” what is it that you think has made today not okay?

You’re not attention seeking at all, please chat as long as you need to, it’s a safe space here or please reach out to the Samaritans or emergency services if you do want to talk to hear a kind voice instead of reading them. You are not the first one and not the last one to ask for help, it’s very normal, it doesn’t make you an attention seeker and there’s no shame in needing to share. Please off load and vent as much as you need to x

Do you think you can hold on just a little while longer, OP? Say one week, just enough time to get some help and see if things don't improve.