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Original poster

I don’t think I want to be here anymore

203 replies

Wafflingonagain · 02/02/2020 00:02

Oh god I started to type this out but there’s so so much I can even include it all. I just thought I’m done

OP posts:
UndertheCedartree · 02/02/2020 00:30

Have you ever used an icepack to calm down? It can really help.

mnthrowaway202020 · 02/02/2020 00:30

You posted here because perhaps subconsciously you know you don’t want to go through with this. You know it’s not the right decision. For right now, just try to vent and unload here as much as you comfortably can

SummerWhisper · 02/02/2020 00:30

I am glad you posted. Lots of responses, people who want you to be safe. People who care enough to stay up, responding to your thread. You are of ultimate importance to us right now Flowers

butwhateverfor · 02/02/2020 00:31

It's actually good to ask for help, so don't be sorry. Maybe try to talk a bit about the various things that are getting you down?

Supertrooper98 · 02/02/2020 00:31

You should give the samaritans a call right now for a chat.
Still talk to us here. You can even write to let us know how you get on.
Just remember one day at a time. You can do it x

Smilebehappy123 · 02/02/2020 00:32

OP things always get better they do , please please reach out and speak to somebody, there are plenty of listening ears on here mine included
Big hugs

Original poster
Wafflingonagain · 02/02/2020 00:32

I’m sorry

OP posts:
Verily1 · 02/02/2020 00:32

Phone nhs 24, you need an urgent review of your meds and an immediate re referral back to the crisis team.

Do you not have a cpn?

SummerWhisper · 02/02/2020 00:32

Your inner strength has brought you this far. You are still a fighter. You can triumph. You can inspire Flowers

glasgow357 · 02/02/2020 00:33

I've felt like that and it's shit. Just swear to do one more day.

Ancientruin · 02/02/2020 00:33

You don’t need to say sorry.

We’re here for you. We want to be here for you.

glasgow357 · 02/02/2020 00:33

And reassess in the morning. Sorry this is two posts.

SummerWhisper · 02/02/2020 00:34

No need to say sorry. People here are so willing to support you. Which area do you live in? Would you accept help?

Original poster
Wafflingonagain · 02/02/2020 00:35

She knows I love that enough for me, I’m done now

OP posts:
HairyDogsOfThigh · 02/02/2020 00:35

We're all here for you if you want to talk to us. Or would you prefer to talk on the phone to someone. Give the Samaritans another chance, or is there a friend you could call up?

Littlemeadow123 · 02/02/2020 00:35

Your daughter is much better off with you. She'll never get over losing you at such a young age. Imagine seeing her year 11 prom, 18th birthday, seeing her off to university, getting married, having children. You have so much to live for.

Ancientruin · 02/02/2020 00:36

They do need you.

Foslady · 02/02/2020 00:37

I have MH issues and at the worst points I felt similar to how you are now. I worried so much that I would fuck up her life because of them. You know what? She has become the most wonderful level headed empathetic young lady you could possibly meet. And that is because she understands.......and she has genuine friends around her that know she can be trusted and they can talk to her and that our home is a safe space.
So please don’t assume that you are damaging your children, OK, it’s not the picture book life you dreamt of but you are doing the best for them in spite of your problems that you face every day, and I can assure you they will be proud of that, proud that you never gave up, no matter how many times you had to pull yourself back from the edge.
Please be kind to yourself- you are doing great in difficult circumstances Flowers

SummerWhisper · 02/02/2020 00:37

You are feeling defeated but you are not done. We won't let you be done. Stay with us. We want to be your support network Flowers

purplepingu · 02/02/2020 00:38

You're not done, your daughter needs you. Call Samaritans, they can help you.

MoonlightMistletoe · 02/02/2020 00:38

We are here for you, we want you to be ok and your children need their mum. Thanks

AmelieTaylor · 02/02/2020 00:38

We are all here by choice 🌷 please don’t apologise.

Your BP & other things are distorting your thoughts.

You might not be perfect, none of us are... but you are your daughters Mummy, you have to believe us when we say she needs you. Only you can ever be her Mum.

There are quite a few MNers whose parents took their own lives and I have never heard a single one if them thinking it was for the best, they ALL wish their parents had stated for them, even the ones old enough to understand their parents issues.

I’m not sure what we can do/say to help you feel less alone or less awful, I wish I did, but I guess seeing someone re your meds would be a good start. Any ‘MH Team’ you have etc.

Cuddle with your daughter & try to hold into the fact that this will pass 🌷

HairyDogsOfThigh · 02/02/2020 00:38

And you love her enough to hang on for her. She needs you and she loves you.

UndertheCedartree · 02/02/2020 00:38

@Wafflingonagain - keep talking - we're all listening. What is making things so hard right now?

MaMisled · 02/02/2020 00:39

Please do something to try to alter this utterly terrible feeling.

Call anyone you think might listen

Get in a hot or cold bath

Sit in the garden in the cold for ten mins

Put some crap music on and jump up and down

Eat some chocolate

Pluck your eyebrows

This will pass.

Your kids NEED you.

Sending a massive squeeze.