Emotional (dis)regulation thread for expression strong emotions and supporting each other

[erinaceus]

Inspired by a few threads on the MH boards and elsewhere on MN, this thread is:

• A safe space to express strong or overwhelming emotions;
• Somewhere where MNers can support MNers who are experiencing strong or overwhelming emotions;
• We can share strategies for coping with strong or overwhelming emotions. Healthy strategies preferred, but bearing in mind that what is healthy for one poster might not be healthy for another poster.

to everyone who knows what I mean.

no don't think you started the thread for attention! I thought it was a mutual support thing...

I didn't mean it like that... I wasn't having a go or anything. I meant more that my body's (this gets weird and confusing, "I" have lots of thoughts/feelings/experiences that aren't "mine" but do happen to the body) head is so fucked up that I don't know if it's even worth trying to get other people to understand. Not even my cpn gets it... I feel like I don't belong anywhere most of the time. I hope that I'm not wasting people's time.

I accepted that I probably will lose the plot again.

I do not have DC, though. During my most recent crisis, my DM came out with at least this is happening to you now, and not after you have had children.

At the time I felt as if I would prefer that it didn't bloody happen at all, but that I am no longer in crisis I can see where she was coming from.

Intergenerational trauma, what japes.

One of the things about mothering is that DM saw my most recent crisis coming, and I waved it away because I felt great at the time.

My therapist from my adolescence still works with children. I did not open up to her at all and I saw her weekly and sometimes twice a week for over three years. I have no idea where one would find the stamina. It is beyond me.

I still feel anxious and overwhelmed at the thought of my upcoming wedding. I fear I may have attachment issues regarding my home and parents. I ordered a book from amazon "the conscious bride" which i hope may help me process these strong emotions. It seems to deal with the emotions and issues regarding marriage that noone really talks about. I hope this helps as i feel i can't talk to anyone about t this as i know i'm meant to feel happy and excited, but in reality i'm on the verge of tears all the time, and often do cry when alone. It feels like such a huge step.

I did not think you were having a go(!)

Thank you danger. Yes, mutual support. It just struck me that there was no place to go

RAH IT IS ALL TOO MUCH TODAY

without some handy MNer popping in with one of those well-meant solution things that the world seems to like so much.

abso-friggin-lutely!

Or saying get a grip there are people dying in Syria (yes, I know, and feel guilty for my 1st world problems)

ahem

rainbow may well not understand either but as erinaceous said it's a place to get it out/sounding board without anyone offering a solution. You never know, someone might have experienced similar. I got told years ago (20 plus) by a psych I had some disassociate thing I don't remember what all ridiculous labels that seemed to appear without being asked my opinion.

There is a thread for dissociation. Maybe you are already on it? I lose track on here. In a way, that was one of the threads that inspired this one. I did not want to take that one over.

The psych who told me that it was called dissociation was a fellow inpatient on a psych ward . I looked it up and thought, but that's normal, no?

AAARG INSOMNIA

And breathe...

Hello ShyGirlie

I don't think you are meant to feel anything in particular about getting married? If you do not feel happy nor excited, is getting married the right thing for you to do? I got married, and I am glad I did, but I do not remember feeling particularly excited about it. I had a lovely wedding and reception and I am delighted to be my DH wife, but the wedding itself was stressful and I do hope I do not do it again. I remember developing the belief that I was going to die of adrenaline in the month before. I hated being the centre of attention and all the silly questions and all the family crap that it brought out of the woodwork.

Ah well. We are married now, and the photographs of the day are lovely.

You still as insomniac-y as me, Erin?

Started a new anxiety med, hoping it'll help

The insomnia comes and goes. I try not to worry about it if I have the odd night where I sleep little, as I found that worrying about not being able to sleep makes not being able to sleep worse. But sometimes I just feel done with it, really. Other times, I sleep to escape. Last night was the worst night in a while. My temper is pretty short today. I am trying to take it easy and avoid idiots.

I hate this though. Sometimes, I just feel so done with it all

I think insomnia is good training for when/if you have kids. I have a friend who loved/always slept and she found it really hard when she had a baby and was expected to get up!

dangermouseisace I had not thought of that.

Maybe I should adopt that mentality, "sleep when the baby sleeps" bit bleak that thought.

Not sure if anyone will "get" why that idea is a bit bleak. to anyone who does.

I just mean, there is something analogous to being a newborn that comes with coming to terms with complex trauma. I have heard the experience of a newborn baby, from the perspective of the baby, described as something like a bottomless dependency coupled with abject terror, which was exactly how I felt when I fell apart this most recent time.

sounds petrifying

I hope you got a better nights sleep erinaceus.

Insomnia is horrible.

I slept like a log last night and spoke to the Samaritans this morning.

I have group this afternoon and a plan for this evening.

In the mean time, I am at home today. A guy is working on our house and I am reasonably confident that a psychiatrist would consider a diagnosis of mania

This is proving to be a good distraction, but the notion that I might possibly be safe with a man whom I do not know in the house with me is a new one to me. There are days when I do not feel safe with DH, but those are fewer days than they were a couple of months ago.

My poor, poor DH

how's the med going specialagent

Glad you slept erinaceus hope your day with the Manic Man is ok. Glad that things have gone in the right direction from a couple of months ago. Is DH supportive?

I actually don't feel like complete shit today, probably for the first day since…oooh…mid May? Like I can actually cope with existing today. Which is…refreshing

I think it's okay, I didn't sleep long but I slept deeply, which was a relief!

Unsure about new medication so far. tentatively thinking it's okay, hoping for more improvement though.
Been ahving mild anxiety attacks all day, no triggers. Very frustrating as i know this means a Bad Mood is coming on.

DH is supportive. I made a wise decision there.

Manic man will return in the morning.

Sounds refreshing! It is not today. Refreshment is needed. Even Manic man had some.

not = hot, at which point, I retreat from MN for a short period.

Oof. Morning folks.

Afternoon…
Glad DH is supportive erinaceous
After a super productive day yesterday back to earth with a bump. Had to go back to bed as completely exhausted and incapable of anything!
Back to normal this PM though- intrusive thoughts so off searching for distraction…there is light that it doesn't have to be all the time though.