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erinaceus · 20/08/2016 06:49
Inspired by a few threads on the MH boards and elsewhere on MN, this thread is:
to everyone who knows what I mean.glad work went ok erin. Sounds like you have a busy time at work even though you say its a change of pace.
I get the pushing too hard thing. I had a frustrating conversation with someone recently who thought my recent dip was due to a lack of things to do (currently not working). Not that the not working was due to a lack of mental and physical ability to do so- also actually not having enough time in recent months due to being a single parent being made homeless/moving to a property that needed a lot of stuff done to it. Doing too much on adrenaline and then being completely spent (medical opinion) rather than getting depressed because my mind wasn't occupied 
There's all this stuff about depression/anxiety in the media/books but I find that none of it relates to my life! It's all 'oh I got better by reading books' (the words spin about after about 2 paragraphs) or by doing exercise or mindfulness or yoga not 'my mood plummeted after a sustained period where my concentration/sleep/cognitive abilities gradually decreased and I had to take a shitload of drugs and a have lot of support to get back to feeling anywhere near normal'. It makes me quite cross as it gives the wrong impression that there are always simple everyday solutions to depression and that there those that take medication etc are just plain lazy.
But but but things are still going well. My house is a tip as I haven't quite got that in hand yet but doing lots of positive stuff and enjoying spending time with the kids, rather than being wracked with anxiety and having to hide from them. I still can't get over the change from a couple of weeks ago. I've started to do some work related activity as well but as opposed to the 'lazy' insinuation above get told by the MH team not to overcommit myself haha!
Feeling fragile these past few days. I have become short-tempered with some people who consistently say things that upset me. This is out-of-character for me. I am usually able to smile and nod, and think, it's them, not me. I am so up to the eyeballs with other stuff, that small things that I would usually let slide are setting me off.
Or, I have decided not to be a doormat. I feel as if I have lost all perspective on which is which. 
I am so cross atm
Someone posted on Facebook that it was 'selfish' to have children if mentally ill and such woman should have their tubes tied until they 'got over it'
I know I should not react so strongly but this really upset me - particularly as person in question has a fair amount to do with dd who suffers enough from the consequences of my MH without other people spouting crap
Bad enough day as it is - cannot summon up the strength to get out of bed yet despite having loads to do today 
It's selfish to have children if you're a judgemental twat with no ability to empathise who will likely never "get over it".
Hi danger I like the description of an emotionally busy week. The person I got cross with is one of my colleagues. I did tell them exactly what it was that they had said that I thought was unkind. They apologised the next day. I appreciated their taking the time to apologise, particularly because it is not always an easy thing to do, apologise. I don't find it easy, anyway.
I am working at home today which is a bit of a break. The office feels a bit like a pressure-cooker at the moment.
I am sorry to hear you got a letter from the DWP which provoked your anxiety. It is a long time since I last had anything to do with the DWP, but I have the impression that the way things have tightened up in the last few years, their letters can come across as particularly lacking in empathy or even threatening.
Do you have a care-coordinator or understanding GP or someone who can help you to figure out what the best route forward is? I remember vividly not that long ago days when I got frustrated with myself because I could not even put a load of laundry on, and I love doing the laundry. I understand the feeling of needing to be able to cope with daily living before starting to think about work. I cannot imagine what pressure to have a face-to-face interview about returning to work would have done for my mood at a time when getting dressed seemed like too big an ask. In some ways I was lucky because I was on medical leave from work when I was not well. Whilst I had to send "fit notes" in to my employer which I found a bit humiliating, I did not face the threat of "sanction" which seems particularly draconian.
Will the MH employment services you asked to be referred to help you to come to an agreement with the DWP? This would seem the sensible way forward but different bits of the system (e.g. MH services and the DWP) are not always in agreement, in my experience, and ways forward are not always sensible.
I hope that you are OK in the middle of it all.
willow I find social media to be such a bugger. Sometimes it is helpful to me to connect with other people, and then, sometimes, I come across something really upsetting. I hope that you feel better today, even if you need to stay under the duvet for a bit.
Feeling a bit calmer- support worker coming to the meeting to say that work should be out of the question at the moment.
But that hasn't prevented my sleep becoming atrocious. I'm waking up gazillions of time during the night…seems to be every 20 mins or so- I turn my clock face 'off' but after waking up eleventy million times I tend to check it as surely it's time to get up now! but find that it's 2.20am and I only turned the light out at 12! It's a bit…wearing...
But otherwise things are still going ok. MH employment support is funded by the NHS not the DWP which is why there is a waiting list! I'm just glad it's there- there wasn't such a thing in the bad old days 
I'm glad you have a supportive employer erin they are worth their weight in gold. As are friend who are supportive thinking of mine often makes me cry tears of gratitude!
Wriggler I know just how you feel. I seem to have spent the last month doing little but work and sleep and have seen very little of the dcs as a result. I feel so guilty which is not helping the hopelessness of the depression.
Hope you get a good night's sleep and can talk to your dp tomorrow.
I am going to treat myself to a takeaway so hopefully avoid doing sone thing stupid tonight
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Willow thank you, just being able to put it into words has helped. Hope you have q nice takeaway and get some good rest
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