The Lost Souls Lounge - falling through the cracks of the MH system

[swisscheesetony]

Been "escorted" to hospital by the police chasing your ambulance?

Been told by the psych team you're fine and there's nothing they can do?

Pull up a pew and have a w(h)ine. No judgement.

My name's swiss and I'm borderline. 2 weeks ago I was taken to hospital with a police escort and discharged 12 hours later. A follow-up appointment with the clinical director of the mental health services ticked a box or two but they've no plans to see me again.

I'm off to see my new GP tomorrow to ask for help (attention seek bien sur).

You aren't worthless and shit to me. X

I called crisis team, they said go back to gp and arrange care with cmht... so fucking stupid. I told them CMHT wont see me and have repeatedly asked gp not to refer me again. Also primary care wont see me, they say I need cmht...
Horrible crisis team woman blames me and says i need to go back to gp and arrange care with cmht, as if IM the one doing something wrong, i explained i have tried to get help from them for over 5 years and they wont, she said things always change. FFS - sick of this - them making out im not trying when actually they have told me again and again they wnt help me and even told gp not to refer me!

I hate this "you should make the calls" rhetoric. I don't know about you but I find it incredibly stressful to make a series of calls trying to move people into position ... Why can't they see this? It's an effort to shower, now we need to sort our own mental health?

thing is, it doesn matter how many calls i make - for FIVE YEARS they have refused to help me and told gp not to re- refer me! So there is no point callig them

Silly question maybe, but do you have a hv still? Mine is brilliant at sorting things out for me and tells those to fuck off when needed.

i dont have children. and probably will never get the chance :(

ive had to ask someone to come and help with get some tea... feel so pathetic brain ot working properly

Part and parcel my love... I know my mental health is going downhill when I can't perform simple tasks and my wardrobe choices become "eclectic". don't give up on the husband/dreams - I didn't meet my husband until I was 34, we're currently separated but working it out.

Ok, so if no hv, is there anyone else who can fight on your behalf? Locally we have an advocacy service (voluntary) who'll fight those battles for you. Anything like that where you are?

i have fought since 2004 and before that i fought to survive, i dont have any fight left
I see a therapist privtely but its turning into just another thing i have to drag myself to do
the sevices make me feel worthess, i tired advocacy but they were hopeles... they get bullied by the cmht too... they wrote letter of complaint on my behlf that was just awful, sorry sounds v ungrateful, what i mean is it was not a letter that would hold ny sway with services, easy to rubbish
the headof the cmht actually hates me and lies to my face, if i ask questions or point it out she writes nasty thigs about me... i used to know someone who worked with her who confrmed shes a bitch

someone i know came with me to see head of cmht once, he called her "duplicitous bitch" not to her face sadly, but she was on her best behaviour and he still saw it! Advocacy etc are snowed under, this area services are in demand and shite (northeast) and anyway, i couldnt stay in touch with last advcate cos he was always ringing at inconvenient times or i ha to call him at specific times, it was all to complex to manage when trying to cope

So you need someone who knows the system and knows how to play it. Personal question, but are you on any drink/drugs program?

and anyway what are they going to do? you have to be actively psychotic (not sure if thats right phrase, sorry) to get a CPN round here, therapy is a no-no cos i need in-depth and they simply dont do that (but have private one anyway).

I need a carer, sadly. And that is not going to happen cos its not even regular times or anything.

Well I have a friend who is a substance abuse counsellor and I'm pretty sure she'd fight tooth and nail for her clients.

Yes, a carer would be good. Worth putting a notice up in a shop window?

no! what makes you think that?! out of curiosity.

Dont have drink or drugs issue.

Also "playing the system" - er they already call me manipulative, not sure actually being manipulative is going to help?
I had a cpn back in 2011 as was being taken to A&E every week or so... this was before cutbacks and situation with services is a lot worse now.

I'm aorry, I don't want to sound flippant at all - I'm just wondering out loud what we can do to help you get the support you deserve.

Crossed wires. just looking for a professional who's 100# on your side - not suggesting anything untoward.

Fine line isn't it? Between knowing your "rights" and accessing them and being manipulative. :(

on noooo the person helping with tea is now cooking in my kitchen and mkes such a mess cleaning up after him will be as much workas cooking... plus scared of putting on weight due to not being able to eathealthy stuff

thing is a carer is impossible due to it being so random. I might be fine but i might not. I dont know until it happens. plus doing stuff like my own shoppig is good for me, id not really go out otherwise. when im fine itd be horrific to have a carer around, getting in the way and distracting me from what i need to do.

i cant stand being patronised either.. that happens a lot when you need help. Im not stupid, im just depressed and overwhelmed. For totally legitimate reaons, yet i get treated like a child

I would love a professional who treated me like i was depressed, not thick or badly behaved . They eem to think doing stff, taking on more stuff is the answer - I'm doing a college course and finding it very stressful having deadlines and things. I mean, i'm glad im doing it but its not exactly helping the problem. I think i just need love and care, in an informal way, someone who doesnt expect things of me/I dont have to please. But i cant really get that, it either happens or not. Im sorry for being so miserable, just seems pretty hopeless after all this time.

My friends are basically my unpaid carers.

I've had a terrible day. I need help, and am just not getting any. I'm doing more research, of over the counter combinations.

I can't keep doing this, I don't have a life. I'm really scared I'm not going to be there for my boys, but I can't get a grip on my emotions, I get completely out of control. I can't even keep on top of basic household tasks.

I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.

Hug and element how are you both today.

Never how are the new mess working.

Went to gp its first time since the cpn appointment he's confused as to why she's saying no to breastfeeding and wants to try a new medication but at the same time discharged me he didn't have the record so is going to contact them.
I've to stay on the ad and go back on the 25th to see him and he hopes he will have been in contact and can try come up with a plan to figure out what to do as he thinks I should be under them.
I'm so tired I just want to sleep ds is awY this afternoon me and dd are lying in bed I'm still dressed so that's improvement.

More out of control emotions, I've cried a lot, feel sick, and just completely spent.

Despite their protestations, I know I'm going to lose all my friends, I always do. No-one can handle this level of emotional instability indefinitely. It'd be better for everyone if I didn't exist.

New meds aren't good. I've had to have two types of anti sickness medications with them. The 2nd type seems to be working better. Feeling very faint so currently lying on the sofa. Only thing that helps at the minute. Feeling very low, couldn't even go in to uni today. X

Hugandroll Is there anyone you can speak to? I'm here if you need to talk.

Element are you ok?