The Lost Souls Lounge - falling through the cracks of the MH system

[swisscheesetony]

Been "escorted" to hospital by the police chasing your ambulance?

Been told by the psych team you're fine and there's nothing they can do?

Pull up a pew and have a w(h)ine. No judgement.

My name's swiss and I'm borderline. 2 weeks ago I was taken to hospital with a police escort and discharged 12 hours later. A follow-up appointment with the clinical director of the mental health services ticked a box or two but they've no plans to see me again.

I'm off to see my new GP tomorrow to ask for help (attention seek bien sur).

Awww element squishy hug gratefully received and reciprocated
Never be sorry for giving hugs.
Sorry you thought that :'-( for many reasons I had a break
So how are you doing? Xx

Hi sorry I've not been posting hugs to all that have been struggling.

I'm really low I didn't get dressed for a week or bathe (tmi sorry still haven't) I got dressed yesterday I am meant to get dressed and have a bath today but I don't have energy I'm struggling typing, I feel completely exhausted as I can't sleep and feel really empty,
I wish there was a cure I hate crying and feeling this way, there's nothing no one can do and on Wednesday in being taking off the ad :/.

No one - anyone sorry

Hugs for you Monkey Do you have some nice bubble bath? I always look forward to a bath if I have some nice soap or bubble bath. Then you can get into your PJ's and talk to us, look at funny youtube videos (I love pranks) or watch a nice film.

Thanks flowers.

Today's really bad I've not even gotten out of bed, I don't think I can.
Dp is angry at me for not trying when he was having a go I could hear him but I couldn't react I've just laid here, I feel utterly useless and done with life.
I'm not suicidal or self harming I haven't in over a week felt either urges after months of constantly thinking that way, but now I'm just done there's nothing left inside of me, or it feels that way.

(monkey). Could you get up for a little bit- even if it's in your pjs? Just to slob around the house or something?

Sorry to crash the thread a bit. I'm changing from risperdone to apripozole and i'm in risperdone withdrawl. My CpN said there's nothing they can give me, i just have to ride it out but i'm feeling like death.

Has anyone else ever had ap withdrawl and was there anything that helped?

Have read everyone's comments but too spaced out to reply fully at the minute.

Never I sat up and coloured for s little while I feel really worn out I might try go to sleep again.
I feel like I'm failing everyone one like I know I'm meant to do things but I just can't find the will I hate it.

Never I really hope you feel better soon and someone can come along and help answer your question.

That's good, small steps. Have you got crisis or any input from the mh team at all?

Not in months the cpn discharged me a week and a half ago saying i don't need there help as I'm only tired and everything I'm experiencing is from lack of sleep, hv got a call and came out after and he's confused as the GP says it's pnd and anxiety but is wanting to stop the ad (20mg citalopram started 8/9 weeks ago can't remember) and Cmht are now no longer involved and he (male hv) isn't sure why they think it's just tiredness due to bf as lots of mums breast feed and don't go as low as this for this long.
I feel like it's up to me to fix now but I want to give up I kept asking for 4 months and this is what it comes down to, that sounds like I'm blaming others I'm not I just feel useless like I'm meant to be this way.

Sounds like your GP might be a good place to go with this? At the very least they could explain what they want to do about AD's. You might even be able to have a chat about ad's. You don't need a cpn for that, so don't worry. Could you try and get an emergency to see them on Monday ?

I can't go on Monday Dp is going away for a few days I don't even know how to get ds to nursery, I'm back on Wednesday at the GP something weird happened the other night which I need to tell him he's going to think I'm really strange I feel it.
I'm so tired dp is away to work now ds is beside me on the iPad I'm hoping dd goes to sleep easily tonight.

Do you want to talk about what happened that was weird? If it helps, I've had lots of weird things happen to me too.

With regards to getting your lo to nursery, could you get a taxi?

I will try explain it it's weird.

I was in bed lying on someone (don't know who could feel them and sort of hear them, I remember saying "I love you to".
Then I sat up and said "I need to check if Dp is home"
Dp says I got up and looked out to see his car I don't remember it but I remember Dp being completely confused and me to as I didn't expect him there I don't know who I thought he was I keep trying to remember.
It feels like a dream but so real and Dp says I was definitely away before during and after.
He has accused me of cheating I think I've finally convinced him I have no idea what it was I would never cheat but I don't blame him for thinking it as it does sound really suspicious.

Ds's nursery is only 3-4 minutes walk away but I can't stay down stairs let alone walk it :/, I will have to I can't keep him off again I did that on Tuesday as Dp wouldn't have been able to get him.

Awake not away.

That sounds like what I get when I'm sleep deprived ! But check with your gp, yes.

If you really can't get your lo to nursery etc then I think you need crisis.

I'm not overly crazy then.
when I try to go out for the last few months I keep thinking bad things will happen like ds will get run over, trees will fall down (Dp thinks that's hilarious but I really can picture it), dog attacks anything bad I feel it will happen ect.
I don't know I know I need to take him I have to I probably can but apart from the cpn and gp appointment a week and a half ago I've barely left this room if I have all I think is I want to be in bed.
The cpn new this and said I need sleep it will stop me overthinking, help me eat (I've lost 4 stone) make me less jumpy, not think about suicide ect they can't help that , I don't know what anyone can do, I've shut my fb down turned Twitter off ect as I don't want to talk to anyone in rl now as I feel I'm burdening them, I even feel bad telling you all this even though you don't know me.

That sounds like anxiety and your dp does not sound supportive at all!

You've lost 4 St in how many months?.

Are you still breastfeeding?.

How much sleep have you had in the last week?.

Still breastfeeding I was 15.2 in August last year at my booking appointment.
I lost around 1 stone by June this year then 3 more since.
I don't know how much it takes me hours to sleep then the dc wake or I wake myself they sleep 11-7 last night I saw every hour.
My GP said anxiety the cpn Says its overthinking due to no sleep.

I meant to put I'm 11.3 now.

I think the first thing to tackle should be your sleep. Can dp have the children for a bit so you can catch up on sleep? You may well have depression but the lack of sleep can't be helping.

Sorry if you've already said this but how long have you been breastfeeding?. How old is DC and how often are your breastfeeding including through the night?.

What medication are you taking and for how long?. Did you have a MH diagnosis pre DC and breastfeeding?.

I'm not being nosey. I'm trying to think how much of this may be an existing MH problem in addition to possible PND or sheer exhaustion.

I do try to sleep every time I try I start thinking more and more about things.
Dd is 8 months old.
I have eupd but everyone GP/cpn/hv say I'm doing really well with that I've not needed any help in years until the last few months :/.
Dd can be up every hour or every few hours but has been getting better again last night was a really good night.
Ds is up a few times he has asd so sleep is a big issue for him.
Dp says as he works he's more tired he needs sleep more or he will get ill (long story about all of that but basically he doesn't want to help atm).
This year has been tough between Dp and I we've lost 3 family members 1 of which we were there, then a tough pregnancy my waters broke at 28 weeks (11th January was the last time I slept threw) but dd stayed until 36 when it was a section.
We've also been waiting since june to move it keeps getting prosponed as most new builds do but I don't want to move anymore (I do but I don't want to think of moving).
My step mum also has breast cancer and is going threw treatment.
I don't think they can help as it been one thing after the other I've given up now.
Writing this actually helps and makes it worse it makes me think maybe I should have a right to feel this way but then other people go threw worse so I shouldn't.
I'm really paranoid about telling you all this in case you think I'm crazy I don't know why. Maybe as some on here know me but it's scary writing it out.

So sorry I didn't realise how long that was.

Sorry I didn't realise you asked how long am I breast feeding altogether.
Today at 7 then 9,11.30, 2,4,6,7,8 and still going I expect we will be up for a while she's not wanting to lie down.