Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

The Lost Souls Lounge - falling through the cracks of the MH system

254 replies

swisscheesetony · 25/10/2015 19:49

Been "escorted" to hospital by the police chasing your ambulance?

Been told by the psych team you're fine and there's nothing they can do?

Pull up a pew and have a w(h)ine. No judgement.

My name's swiss and I'm borderline. 2 weeks ago I was taken to hospital with a police escort and discharged 12 hours later. A follow-up appointment with the clinical director of the mental health services ticked a box or two but they've no plans to see me again.

I'm off to see my new GP tomorrow to ask for help (attention seek bien sur).

OP posts:
paulapompom · 09/11/2015 14:00

Hello all, can I be with you on here please? long term depression, very up and down, now anxious too.was having counselling but when I opened up about how i felt (suicidal) the counsellor seemed scared and made me see the gp right there and then, so now I dont tell her the truth.

monkey and Swiss how are things now? agree with pp monkey, if you can see gp today.

Has anyone ever managed to get referred to a psychiatrist and did it help? I want to see one. I was under the cpns in essex, but have moved now and feel like I have no support.

Monkeybabiess111 · 09/11/2015 14:07

Paula I've not saw one in years.
I was referred this year and they wouldn't see me just sAid cpn should monitor me now I'm discharged.

I don't know what you mean about spinning as such but always thinking yes the cpn says its normal when people are tired to have racing thought and over worry like this I just don't know how to sleep anymore.
It's less than 48 hours to the GP appointment 8.50 on Wednesday I just want to stop crying I don't even know why I do cry anymore.

Never I hope the medication helps and you feel better soon.

paulapompom · 09/11/2015 14:13

Thank you monkey that is what i thought. My gp is good but a bit stumped what to do with me, as I often function quite well.

fwiw I think you are doing well to stay focussed on that appt. I guess crying is some kind of release, dont blame yourself for doing it, let it out.

sending good wishes to all on this thread

Monkeybabiess111 · 09/11/2015 15:26

Paula tell your therapist everything.

I asked for therapy years ago but wasn't entitled or something can't remember but it was a no, I asked recently but again not available.
The GP was going to refer for phychosexual therapy but then this all happened so he said he wants be stable before that but cbt doesn't work on people like me (that's what they said I think) and dbt isn't available for me or something I'm struggling to remember.
I get mixed things they all say my eupd is under control but GP says pnd abs anxiety cpn says tiredness and overthinking.
I don't know which but I don't like it I don't want to do anything I have no energy I know I worry to much I don't know how to stop.
I just want an off button in my head and energy pills as I feel like I'm wasting everyone's time but I don't know how to fix this I hAte myself for it, I feel really pathetic.

paulapompom · 09/11/2015 16:20

monkey you are not pathetic though. It's a battle, and one that not many people understand. How we feel is real and an illness, I think so many health professionals just don't know what to do with us. It scares people. But we are all battling on. We are still here.

I know what you mean about an off button though, it's so tiring. Flowers

jimijack · 09/11/2015 17:10

This thread is fascinating.

From a non mh trained hcp pov, this is indescribably frustrating.
As part of my daily work I come into contact with people who are acutely mentally ill, desperately looking for help and the options are very limited.

Without exception, they all tell me that crisis teams are useless, unhelpful and tell them to contact their GP.
A&E are unsympathetic, unhelpful and uncaring. Send them out (often with no way of getting home, no money and no follow up) having waited to be seen for hours and hours. This is traumatic for those with anxiety.

We can offer the.com an ambulance if they have voiced suicidal thoughts, that it, that is the only option open to us.
I care, I feel desperately embarrassed and distressed and unhappy at my inability to do my job.
But, from one human being to another human being in pain and distress, I find it intolerable that I simply cannot do anything helpful but talk to these people.

What makes things more difficult is when they contact our service, they are often angry, aggressive, abusive and nothing I say is right, I confess, I don't know what to say to them.
They are often, simply, at the end.

I am interested in knowing from those of you who have commented that some of the mh professionals you have come into contact with who have been good, what has made them good in your opinion?
What have they done that has helped you at that time?

I have had mh issues personally in the past, not to the extent of some of you, but in my experience, "care" was poor, in every way. It's a miracle I have lived to tell the tale really.
Wish there was more I could do that's all.

Monkeybabiess111 · 09/11/2015 17:41

My old cpn 3 years ago was really good she was monitoring my mood and always checked up if I had a bad visit she would phone in between leaving and the next one to see if she needed to come back earlier.

She really listened and I could tell she did as she remembered little insignificant things rather than just ticking boxes which I have felt a lot of the time but I don't blame any professionals it's the system there's no funding so I can't blame anyone person how are they meant to help everyone they can't and I know it's people like me that don't get help as we are seen as attention seeking no good people who can't be helped (sorry if I offend anyone I don't mean everyone it's how I feel about it).
I think if all you do is listen and do what you can there's nothing else you can do.
I know my own GP doesn't know what to do that's why he sent the referral for a psychiatrist to see me and they wouldn't so I can't blame him and now the cpn has written me off I personally feel I'm wasting there time as no one can help me I just need to wait what ever this is out I just don't know how to anymore.

Neverletmego27 · 09/11/2015 18:19

Why wouldn't see a psych see you, monkey?

Monkeybabiess111 · 09/11/2015 18:26

They didn't say they just said said a cpn will monitor me I got monitored for 1 months then I wasn't seen for 8/9 weeks as she went off sick and there was a mix up then the new one saw me once said I was tired and maybe needed a ad with sedative effect she will pass that to the GP and said I was discharged.
The hv got a call he's bewildered spoke to the GP and phoned back saying the GP is indeed wanting me off the ad altogether it wasn't him that prescribed it it was another one that was filling in , I don't think he likes prescribing medication but if I'm not allowed therapy or medication I can't be helped at all and I'm wasting there time then.

Monkeybabiess111 · 09/11/2015 18:28

I saw the crisis team a few times over a few months in between but never a Dr from there they organised a support worker to but she saw me twice.
I honestly feel they either don't think I can or I really can't be helped.

Monkeybabiess111 · 09/11/2015 18:33

Sorry they did to the GP about as I wasn't on pchosomething medication I would be monitored by a cpn.

Neverletmego27 · 09/11/2015 21:01

But monkey, it's not about what these people want for you, it's about what you want. You need to shout up at your appointment on Wednesday. How are you feeling now?

Monkeybabiess111 · 09/11/2015 21:13

I just can't not cry it seems every hour I'm crying at something insignificant, I'm crying now as I'm writing about crying it feels really surreal, I know what I'm meant to do but can't do.
I Just want to sleep but I can't I'm in pain my ear head and tonsils are all sore the Dr said they will take a few days to work but the painkillers aren't really helping it and even if it were not that I'd be up as I need to check the kids are still breathing.
They can't help the cpn basically said it she said something about they can only really help people who are server and enduring mental illnesses so I must not be ill and she's a professional it's up to my Dr who can't do much his hands are tied which means it's up to me and if I can't do it no one can, I can't confront anyone or shout I get really scared I just cry and cry and look pathetic.

HugAndRoll · 09/11/2015 23:19

I'm sorry people are having such a rough time.

I'm really not good. I made a means earlier, different from my usual. Can't act on it because I have the boys, but I'm deliberately not telling friends when I'm child free on the weekend.

Monkeybabiess111 · 10/11/2015 00:16

Hug please call someone having a means/plan ect is bad I told someone when I did not so long ago and thankfully they told me something that helped me stop planning.
Please don't do anything and tell anyone everyone that will listen of your intentions it's important please they thoughts will go away.
Have you got anything to take your mind off them or maybe lying with your boys listening to them breathing sometimes listening to my kids breath reminds me I'm alive for them.

NanaNina · 10/11/2015 01:18

jimiack your post was interesting. I'm wondering what your job is although you may not want to say and I understand that. I am sure you are aware that the NHS is "on its knees" and we have the BMA telling us (and the govt) that it is heading for a crisis, but the govt aren't listening and now we have Jeremy Hunt wanting junior doctors working every hour that god sends and trying to bamboozle them by giving them a pay rise but lower pay for the unsociable hours. If I have to go to hospital I don't want to be seen by a doctor who has worked for 15 hours.

Then there is the crisis in mental health. A tiny percentage of the budget allocation to the NHS is allocated to mental health. Maybe you know the figures - I can't just bring them to mind. SO when MH staff are "up against it" they are only going to be able to see people with complex mental illnesses, or severe and enduring. There is an absolute crisis in IP care - many patients are having to go to hospitals miles away from their home, which can only increase their emotional distress. GPs work 12 hour days and see around 40 patients a day, which is ridiculous - small wonder that all they can do is write a prescription for pills.

There are long waiting lists for counselling and then it is usually 6 sessions of CBT which isn't appropriate for many people. Monkeybabies says she doesn't blame the staff, it's the system that's at fault. Many posters on the MH threads have a diagnosis of Emotionally Unstable PD and I think so many fall through the cracks, as there is no specific medication. The therapy that seems to work best is BDT but it's not available for many patients.

I consider myself relatively fortunate - I have a recurring depressive disorder (which can be severe) and I have a very supporting GP, an excellent CPN and see a psychiatrist on a monthly basis. However the one that was appointed at the beginning of the year has now left and there is a locum consultant psychiatrist but only until December, and I'm not sure what will happen after that. I am currently on lithium where I need weekly blood tests so am a little concerned about how they will be monitored when there is no psychiatrist. I am on 2 ADs but they are not very affective and the lithium doesn't seem effective, though I have to give it more time.

I just wanted to say something about suicidal thoughts. So many times on the MH threads anyone who says they are having these thoughts, they are urged to "phone someone" or go to A & E. The thing is suicidal thoughts (suicide ideation) is a symptom of depression and so we are going to have these thoughts, and I certainly have them, and have made plans, but don't think I'll ever go through with it. Last week the psychiatrist was asking about this and I told him, and about my plan and he simply wrote it down in the notes. I think some people think if someone is having these thoughts they will immediately be admitted and taken care of, and as you know, this is not the case.

I have been on IP twice, both times for 3 months and on each occasion it was the same. Staff who didn't even bother to introduce themselves, nurses who were always in the office, or busying themselves with meds. The nurses never talked to us and the nursing assistants who had to sit with the patients used to talk to each other over our heads or around us. One particular NA was a bully and very intimidating. I complained to the CQC but nothing has changed apparently.

Sorry folks, I know so many of us are having a tough time.

Monkeybabiess111 · 10/11/2015 01:31

Nana so sorry you gets theses thoughts, I hope you are feeling a bit better.
I find talking about them does help sometimes I had a plan I was going to follow threw with I wouldn't tell the Dr at the time this was only a few weeks ago, someone I told made me rethink that so I say tell someone anyone it may help.
I did the the Dr after and the cpn but as I wasn't actively planning they can't help but the cpn thinks my suicidal thoughts are due to tiredness which is good in one way that should mean it's fixable but in another I don't know how to sleep.
I'm awake until I drop now then I'm not sleeping more than a few hours then I'm awake again dreading every second of being awake.
I honestly don't know what is going on with me only I don't want to actually die of harm I just want to sleep but worry if I go any longer I will get back to where I was.

swisscheesetony · 10/11/2015 08:16

monkeybabies I'll probably be shot for this, but personally I think maybe it's time to stop bf, or perhaps at least express for a big bedtime bottle. You need sleep and you need to look after yourself, you can't be ecerything to eceryone.

I know there aren't specific meds for BPD but I wouldn't mind a small cocktail to take the edge off stuff.

As for "planning thoughts" of course it's a personal business and when you're that low the last thing I would do is tell someone. I can't express my regular thoughts, never mind the ones we're not supposed to have. There's a Kay red field (?) book where her suicide partner goes ahead despite their agreement to always call each other - she's unsurprised.

I had a thought at the weekend relating to how evolutionary wise everyone has a role. It's been suggested that those with mh problems kept everyone safe because they were sensitive to what was going on around them. And I thought to myself - maybe it's not me who is "wrong", how can others not be as emotional about things as I am?

Excuse the verbal diarrhoea this am.

OP posts:
Monkeybabiess111 · 10/11/2015 08:33

No the cpn said that be the last week she's been sleeping a lot better, tbh it's bf her that has kept me alive it would be to easy for me to go back to drinking smoking and sleeping tablets like I did when ds was a baby as much as I know they would at least help me sleep they made me a terrible mother and missed the first 18 months of his life.
I have really bad guilt I blame me for his autism because of it even though I know logically it wasn't but I can't help but wonder if I had been around and did everything I was supposed to would he be better.

Wryip11 · 10/11/2015 13:43

element your post of 7 Nov really resonated with me. My care coordinator keeps asking what I want them to do - how about something to make me feel better. And when the MH liaison to A&E get cross because you cannot answer them and dont actually care what happens next because it is all just too much to deal with; and one of your friends says that it is selfish and i need to think about how I am impacting on others ....
Lost my job now because of being borderline - I disappeared, police turned up at office, boss scared witless for 3 days now cannot deal with the risk so I go because I have had too much sick leave and am not 'reliable'
Have a meeting with my cc this afternoon but really not sure whether to go - last one resulted in the 3 day disappearance and A&E trip because they said were not going to do anything to help long term just 'conclude' crisis management work.

Neverletmego27 · 10/11/2015 14:16

Hello guys

Monkey - how are you doing today? I'm fed up, have been sick quite a lot thanks to the side effects of my medication . Anti-sickness medication isn't working. Am going to see the GP today to see if I should change it back to the old one, which i hate.

My dd isn't here and i've missed a lecture today. fed up.

Monkeybabiess111 · 10/11/2015 16:40

Sorry your having a tough time never.

Wry I get asked by my GP what can he do I always say I don't know, I've never been able to answer it.

Today I feel broken I feel ill I kept ds home I was up most of the night I couldn't face it, dp got back this afternoon but won't watch both dc so I can't rest I feel like I need time to not think about the kids even though I would just knowing someone else is in charge would help I think.
I feel he doesn't care I'm still in pain moving not as bad as the weekend but still feel weak and I haven't eat in days.
I'm dreading the appointment tomorrow I just think it's going to go the same way as usual and he's going to take me off the ad and say see you next month or come back if you need to then I won't as I feel I've wasted everyone's time.
I hate this.

Bombastic123 · 10/11/2015 17:00

I might join you. I had a cpn but psych decided I don't one anymore. I had some good months but things are getting bad again. I have called cmht five times so far. I got my psych appointment forwarded but it is still in three weeks time. Yesterday I spoke with cpn and he said he will call me back same day. He never did. I chased him today and he just said he is trying to get earlier appointment for me.

I am just getting worse. I was okish when I contacted them about my symptoms one and half week ago. Now I am really ill. I would really need a cpn again.

elementofsurprise · 10/11/2015 19:40

my GP has been called by my therapist (private) and social services, and hasnt bothered phoning me. I probly havvet to just get my pets safe and sort some things out then die. I need help right now, but cant have any. no one is replying to my messages

elementofsurprise · 10/11/2015 19:43

and they caan all fuck off ith their stupid "sever and enduing" bullshit. THIS is fucking severe and enduirng and has fucked up my life but who gives a shit. and they were like this before th cuts, im sick of that being rolled ut as an excuse. now everyone is saying ooh thres no help - try living ith that even when others are getting help. why wont they admit im wirthless, why i expected to be ok when they know im shit