HTT are handing me over

[EnpoTree]

Woop! Just got a call asking if I wanted to be visited today (er, no, ta) and telling me that they're about to call CMHT to hand me over to them. Finally getting off this daily checking up soon I hope

my current account is £FUCK!HOWMUCH? overdrawn

yikes

have not been on any sprees, is simple inability to live within means like a frugal person

should prob clean his tack too in case they want to buy that

ugh (is annual rather than daily job here )

nobody is interested but have decided to stop using MFP (after a couple of years and 3 accounts later) and weighing and measuring and recording every morsel of food or drink that passes my lips now that have phased in a more appropriate app

my friends know me anyway obviously but will be nice to show off how mentally normal I can be

Enpo I don't think you've said anything too terrible bit like mitchy says, you can ask for your threads to be deleted.

Sounds like you have a busy morning ahead mitchy. I'm off to ride Murphy and need to decide about Boxing Day hunting. I think I'll do it after missing it last year.

Have a lovely Saturday both of you.

am going through it alone :(

thread might be gone by time am back in the house with wifi :(

it has been lovely chatting shit (literally sometimes) with you all :)

THERE YOU ARE

have fab ride!

Ugh. Thanks for nice messages this morning. Was feeling a bit depressive last night. Have all the automatic thoughts but not yet the somatic shit. I have to dig out Mind Over Mood or maybe Overcoming Depression and CBTise myself a bit.

What do you use instead of MFP Mitchy?

I hate Mind Over Mood. That bloody woman who thinks she's having a heart attack all the time.

People sound so wholesome when they talk about/do horsey stuff.

Recalcitrant is a lovely word.

I have Mavis coming round this afternoon to use my bath as hers is full of washing-up and only has cold water, and she has offered to buy back her stuff. The DSS backdated her money which they'd stopped as she was too stoned to didn't get them a sicknote when she was supposed to, so now she's "loaded", apparently, and will be able to answer her landline as she's buying a handset to replace the one that fell in the bath

My house is shit but my bath works. I must be a success.

Now I just need a horse.

Must not call her Mavis to her face.

Don't know why I slept in so long. I must get out of bed.

Been spending most of last night and this morning convincing myself I have peripheral neuropathy.

I knew I was going to start getting depressed. Bloody knew it. I need an antidepressant, not an anxiety drug.

I told doctors, nurses, etc., while I was still capable, I was asking for help with the depression that I KNEW was coming. And yet while they were only too keen to try and pull me down from a good mood I didn't want or need help with, and put the HTT dogs onto me, now I desperately want/need help and drugs to stop this depression turning dangerous and stop me feeling like I have to kill myself to avoid going through it again, they're not so interested.

MH services baffle me.

I think they're trying to get too complicated and fancy with exciting drugs. I wonder if the GP would prescribe me phenelzine, since I've had it before.

Actually, no, I do have the somatic shit. Everything is heavy and slow and stiff and shitty.

What's the problem with MFP, BTW?

Most GPs will be reluctant to prescribe an MAOI but given that you've had it before you might be lucky.

When next week is your appointment with the psych? You can always ring the out of hours number in the meantime if you feel really bad, which I hope you don't.

Wednesday.

I don't like this pregabalin and neither does my heart, apparently. It's gone "fuckit" and instituted a go-slow.

Do you think you can last till Wednesday?

Interesting side effect of the pregabalin. What dose are you taking?

Lubdub.

[mysterious pause]

Lubdub

[another mysterious pause]

Lubdub

At 44bpm, feeling dizzy when I sit forward, and with a bp well below 90/60, I'm scared to stand up. Surely it can't all be psychosomatic?

I've only taken one 75mg capsule, the first one, a couple of hours ago.

I can last until wednesday just fine, and if not I've got a crapload of codeine I can take.

Changes in heart rate do occur with pregabalin but it's not common. It should even itself out as your body gets used to it.

Please don't fiddle with the codeine

Yeah, I always get "interesting" side effects. Risperidone gave me a resting heart rate over 100. The psych was not impressed with me and said it shouldn't be possible