HTT are handing me over

[EnpoTree]

Woop! Just got a call asking if I wanted to be visited today (er, no, ta) and telling me that they're about to call CMHT to hand me over to them. Finally getting off this daily checking up soon I hope

Weekends and weekdays are all much the same to me.

I'm 43 too

thought I was the oldest person in the world, ever

will have to share that accolade with mp now

Friends' for dinner sounds like fun. Is it the same people you fed beef wellington to?

Aw, Mitchy, I'm sure you're probably older than lots of people.

I can be the oldest mingephobic* woman diagnosed with bipolar

*own minge excluded

I am confident that I at least LOOK older

Not the same friends I fed beef to. It's DPs partner and her husband and their friends. I don't care as long as they feed me well.

How's 43 treating you Mitchy?

Don't know about looking older Mitchy, I have a LOT of grey hair.

it hasn't been great

but could have been worse

I did think I'd have a proper hairstyle and generally be better groomed and more mentally normal by now though. How about you?

I expected to be much more sophisticated and I harboured ideas about being better groomed as well. The reality is somewhat different.

I knew I wouldn't feel more mentally normal but as the years have gone by I care less about people finding out that I'm a mentalist.

we grow out of bipolar though, right? by and large?

I thought I'd grown out of whatever the fuck it is I've got. Then wallop, several years of slightly depressive stability, down the toilet.

Argh sodding anxiety. Stupid, pointless, purposeless, subjectless anxiety.

Interesting to hear people grow out of bipolar disorder, though. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad, if it's something one only has to put up with for a few years.

In some people the severity lessens with age in some people it increases. I know that my bipolar has gotten steadily worse over the past 20 years.

am sorry to hear that has been the case so far mp, how old were you when it all kicked off

no idea if is true about its course enpo, is just a thing have chosen to believe

in case 'they' were right

I first got ill when I was in 4th year of medical school so 22.

is hardly a few years though, wasn't diagnosed until 20s but definitely unwell with something other than the visibly obvious from adolescence

when I say have only had one episode of depression I mean one Bad and Long one, but have probably spent quite a lot of life being depressed without knowing what it was

I'm just going to Stop It one day, all my mental disorders

they have been too time consuming taking whole chunks of my life

Visibly obvious?

In retrospect there was something visibly wrong with me in late adolescence but my parents had a loathing of psychiatrists so nothing was done until I was sectioned at 22.

In retrospect I think I could have become a functioning human being if I'd managed to avoid psychiatric treatment until I was 22.

Please note that my parents were both medics.

:(

now have this stuck in my head 'And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking . . .'

have they responded more uh acceptively/supportively over time mp?