Andes up - who needs a rock to lean on? Rock on over here!

[ThatVikRinA22]

in honour of ed and her mountain ranges.....

welcome to thread 3 - this is a support thread for anyone needing a hand to hold while they get through depression or any other mental health problems - long term or temporary. All are welcome.

linky to old thread

[ColouringInQueen]

Morning all

Wow vicar your time at the stables sounds fab and I can well imagine it flies by. Glad you got a little ride in. It sounds like a tough decision re: your job, like you say maybe fate will decide for you. Hope you're snow-free today and get to your hair appointment and that you feel better for it.

Actually name-wise would Colouring be OK - I agree the full thing is too much but not quite comfortable with queenie!

Hi Egg goodness they look like two seriously busy days - no wonder you were shattered! Oh and Happy Birthday! Hope you get a more restful day today.

I am shattered from yesterday but woke up with less of a feeling of dread this morning which is nice! Another mum from school has befriended me since I told her about DH depression last year (she's also training to be a counsellor) and I'm invited round for coffee this morning which will be nice - she has a very gentle nature.

DH looking knackered this morning too. He had his work's leaving do last night, and finally signed a compromise agreement with them, plus his CBT finished yesterday so he said he's feeling a bit "floaty" this morning, lots of endings. I do worry that everything with me is going to set back his recovery, so feel I need to keep a bit of an eye on him.

Supposed to be doubling my fluoxetine today (20-40). I tried this two weeks ago, but it coincided with DH's redundancy news, an exhausting 4 days looking after poorly DD and then DH away with work for 3 days and all that tipped me over the anxiety edge (trazodone prescribed). So am trying again and will find out if the massive anxiety was due to the circumstances or the higher dose (or more likely, both!)

Hoping everyone has an OK Friday and wrap up warm x

[ColouringInQueen]

Hi SPC sorry missed your post, simple things like pages... hope you weren't cleaning too long in the night!

[TheSilveryPussycat]

Damn! Level 1 and I can hear the bin lorry approaching! Another week where I've missed putting the bin out

Luckily there is just me here now and plenty of room left in the bin.

[EggwiniasRevenge]

Woooah. I've just woken up from a 4hr daytime nap. I must have needed it!

I feel energised tho. Must get up whilst that is still the case.

[TheSilveryPussycat]

NN seen you on another thread, and wondered have you started med change yet?

[NanaNina]

Hi SPC yes seen you on the other thread too - feels a bit like being "found out" doesn't it! I certainly haven't deserted this thread but it's sooooooo busy I struggle to keep up. I know I asked people for a pen picture and I intended to open a small file but didn't get round to it, and that MNetter w have been talking to does seriously need support doesn't she.

I didn't have a meds change but an addition (15 mg mirtazapine for 7 days and 30 mg thereafter) so yes started last Friday on the 15 mg and no side effects so start the 30 mg tonight so time will tell.

As I am on this thread, hello to everyone and snowymouse where are you. Please come and say Hello. x

[SnowyMouse]

Hello everyone. Please don't worry, it's hard for me to post from the ward via my phone.

Thinking of you all!

[NanaNina]

AAhh my call for you worked Snowymouse - don't worry we understand it is difficult to post from your phone. Just hoping you are a teeny weeny bit better NNx

[TheSilveryPussycat]

NN I have the same trouble on this and other threads. But it really doesn't matter :) If I can't remember something about the person I'm posting to, I just ask.

FWIW I have thumbnail sketches of some of you - eg NN older Babyboomer with a pet HM (excuse humour )

[ColouringInQueen]

NN and SPC you're not alone on the keeping up front - I have to keep going back to page 1 to remember who people are. But as SPC says it really doesn't matter.

today. My brother and family were due to visit, but have cancelled cos of stupid snow. I have DD in tears and me feeling fed up cos was looking forward to chatting with brother who's v understanding. Woke up with more of a feeling of dread and more anxious and am wondering if its the higher dose of fluox. Last time I tried to up the dose it coincided with DH's redundancy news, ill DD, DH going away for a few days so me and GP couldn't work out what caused massive increase in anxiety. Mornings like this I really do wonder how helpful the meds are

Has anyone else woken to snow? I could really do with Spring. Sorry for bleurh post. Will concentrate at looking af daffs in vase on windowsill.

Hope everyone's doing OK x

[TheSilveryPussycat]

Level 1 paralysis! I need to get Euros and pack and stuff but am MNetting and drinking coffee. And it snowed in the night and I didn't park car in garage.

TBH this is normal for me - am rather a last minute person

[ThatVikRinA22]

still level 1 here too but im going to dress in a min and walk the dog in the snow.

have a lovely time away SPC!

[TheSilveryPussycat]

CiQ so sorry your DB & fam had to cancel.

I doubt the increase in anxiety is due to higher dose. Maybe it's an instinctive worry that Spring will never come... but it will :)

[ColouringInQueen]

Have a lovely weekend SPC and thanks. Hope you had a nice snowy walk vicar.

I went back to bed, DH woke me at 12 and I feel so much better who said we shouldn't go back to bed sometimes am even going to try and do a painting now! Take care everyone x

[EggwiniasRevenge]

Having a horrid day.

Retreated to bed at 4ish. Can't get myself motivqted to get out and cook tea :(

[Bugsbasset]

Colouring can imagine how disappointed you were to hear that your brother and family had to cancel . So valuable to have a sibling who supports and has the background re your mums depression /your upbringing . Unique and my sister has helped me hugely because of the shared history also.
Thinking of Vicar as I type this ....so sorry your sister died . You both must have been huge support to each other.

This damn winter has gone on far too long ......the greyness . I am glad that you went back to bed and feel better . Seems to me that peace from the endless mind chatter for a while is more precious than pearls sometimes.
Mornings are usually the worst for anxiety sufferers [something to do with raised cortisol levels I think ] ........and the fear of getting through another hard day trying to appear fine for work /family . Exhausting and new meds seem to always make you feel worse before they kick in . Perhaps ring your doc on Monday?

You love painting? I hope you got immersed in your project and found some peace and satisfaction . Interested if you feel up to sharing what you paint .

Today I slept late after being awake a lot of the night with the tummy churning and nausea . THE FEAR . So a bit fog brained now with those stealthy peaks of adrenaline surge that shake you.

Vicar Hope you had grand walk with the hound and wrapped up warmly .
Truly loved the fact your horse laid her head on your shoulder and snuggled.
Wise and intelligent animals and so forgiving of those who neglect them . I do so hope that you can get your own soon. It is a must for you . Got lottery on and will pm you if I win
I have a feeling that life for you is on the upward turn at long last .

Egg is tonight the sleepover night for your daughter ? Your lists of stuff done are fabulous . look back in your posts and see how far you have come !!

Snowy thank you for calling in and so hope that you are seeing some light at the end of the tunnel . Stay safe.

SPC Hope this snow doesnt spoil any travel arrangements . Have a lovely lovely time .

Hi to Mama and Nina and Helles and anyone reading who is struggling maybe .

[ColouringInQueen]

Hi Egg sorry to hear you're having a bad day. Anything you can treat yourself too when you get up? Take care.

Thanks Bugs your observations are completely spot on I was looking forward to chatting to brother... Really glad to hear you have a dsis you can confide in. Hope you're surviving despite the bad night and what sounds like rubbish anxiety. Hang in there.

Waving to everyone else whilst sat next to radiator!

Interesting about the anxiety/cortisol thing - that makes complete sense. Yes I have really had enough of this winter. We're off to the Lakes in 2 weeks (last couple of years weather has been good) but there's a crazy video on bbc website with cars and lorries stuck in massive snowdrifts! Fingers crossed.

Yes I did manage to get a bit of painting in thanks. I was v gd at art at school but went down the academic route from A-levels. In advance of my youngest starting school in Sept I booked myself onto a one day/wk painting class at local college and it's been brilliant and I think has helped me keep going. I feel like I'm progressing well and the other people on this course are lovely. Started off with watercolours, but this year oils. It is very satisfying - one of the few things I still get pleasure from .

I can imagine vicars days at the stables being similar and lovely that post about the snuggling horse.

Take care everyone x

[ThatVikRinA22]

Well in usual fashion Ed we are twined yet again - horrid day for me. I'm laid on the bed but only have phone to mumsnet on at min. Me and dh not talking. I'm also suffering with a dicky stomach today. Will explain if I can get laptop. Also difficult to follow others posts on phone sk apologies. Will catch up later. Right now I'm feeling very weepy -not felt this way for a good few weeks, but I feel there is reason to feeling like this today, thanks to Dh and DD. Am only own tucked out of the way for now and plan on staying that way.

[EggwiniasRevenge]

Twinned more than you think.

I had mega argument with dtd1 and have been tucked away in my bedroom.

I also have a dicky tummy.

I'm sure I'll be back later to update....but for now I am cooking a very late tea with a can of lager on the go....and a bottle of wine open (well the bolognese tastes soooo mucb better with a slug of wine)

Hugs to all. Big hugs to all.

[EggwiniasRevenge]

Oh and I have had tears today for the first time in months...the meds kimd of take my ability to have a good sob away.

[EggwiniasRevenge]

Oh and if I could give vicar a helpful hint...stay out of the kitchen...I wouldn't want my twin having the kitchen disaster I am having (have dropped a couple of glasses...which survived impact...then dropped my food processor bowl which I love but don't use often enough to justify replacing and have shattered the bowl....that caused me to cry :( )

[Bugsbasset]

Egg we cross posted I think . so sorry you are having a bad day . The peaks and troughs of this illness are vile . Coast through it if you can ...but easier said than done I know . A day at a time is a cliche but they are true words.
An hour at a time . Can you distract by crocheting ? the repetition of the hand movement is very calming and kind of grounding .

Ah enjoy your visit to the Lakes Colouring .....the snow will only be on the peaks then surely . What a cracking time of year to go as spring arrives with all its glory to revive tired souls . The lambs and the primroses .
You must take your sketch book ....

[Bugsbasset]

Vicar so sorry you are feeling so low . Cry its ok . Gets the stress hormones out . Sending you a huge bosom down hug and rock around your shoulders.
Ed too .

[ThatVikRinA22]

I'm packing to leave. I've had enough, dh being vile andim kidding myself that anyone cares. I'm trying to get hold of dais to see if I can go there but it's a long way away and it's snowing.

[Bugsbasset]

Oh my lass ..........can you tell us a bit why you feel so awful ? am very worried about you .pm me if you want to .

Dont try to drive in this weather please . Oh what has happened my love ?
we can ask MNHQ to delete later if you want . just keep talking to us for now .